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cover art for S3E10 - Pizza University: Episode 3: Debate Night/Koach Karl

The Middle-Aged Candy Store

S3E10 - Pizza University: Episode 3: Debate Night/Koach Karl

Season 3, Ep. 10

Thank you for listening to the Middle Aged Candy Store, produced by The Gathering. In this episode, Karen's trial continues, and the candy store staff make some progress in their quest to free their leader. Also, Pizzabot attends a debate and makes an unexpected new friend, and Koach Karl gives us all a much-needed pep talk on economic and sexual liberation.


  • Pizza University, Episode 3: Debate Night was written by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, performed by Tony Culverwell, Megan Liley, Donnie Febbleston, and Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, and produced by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.
  • Koach Karl was written by Donnie Febbleston, Karen Loomer, and Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, performed by Donnie Febbleston and Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, and produced by Donnie Febbleston.
  • Intro and interstitial segments written by The Gathering and performed by Tony Culverwell, Donnie Febbleston, Michael Giel, Rachel Perry, Karen Loomer, and Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.Theme music by Donnie Febbleston and performed by Donnie and Linda Febbleston.
  • All sound effects are licenced under Creative Commons Zero. Special thanks to:
  • craigsmith for gavel tapping
  • ev-dawg for crowd noise
  • radiocounselling for crowd gasp
  • thomaspetting for jackhammer
  • sandermotions for applause
  • speedenza for moving machine sequence
  • notklaatu for retro sci fi computer
  • Sound design by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.
  • Cover art by Amanda Matalanis. 


The Middle Aged Candy Store is a proud member of the We’re Still Cool podcast network. Podcasts appear every first and third Tuesday of the month.

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  • 11. S4E11 - We can forgive that for you wholesale/Ask Dr Sex: Wizard problems

    23:01
    Thank you for listening to the Middle Aged Candy Store, produced by The Gathering. In this episode, Dr. Sex dispenses marital advice to some wizards, and the Vatican joins the AI craze by selecting a very unusual pope. Meanwhile in the store, the Scrap Metal Woman and her sister visit Karen and help her manage her new investor.Ask Dr. Sex: Wizard Problems was written by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip and performed by Tony Culverwell, Donnie Febbleston, and Megan Liley, and produced by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.We can forgive that for you wholesale, or, PopeGPT was written by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip and performed by Donnie Febbleson, Tony Culverwell, and Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, and produced by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.Intro and interstitial segments written by The Gathering and performed by Karen Loomer, Megan Liley, and Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.Theme music by Donnie Febbleston and performed by Donnie and Linda Febbleston. All sound effects are licenced under Creative Commons Zero and can be found on freesound.org. Special thanks to: S: Zap.flac by jnr hacksaw | License: Creative Commons 0S: Heavy Metal Impact by magnuswaker | License: Creative Commons 0S: DullThud.wav by TriqyStudio | License: Creative Commons 0S: Melee Weapon hit with male moan & body fall by Paul368 | License: Creative Commons 0S: Footsteps outdoors gravel.wav by jedg | License: Creative Commons 0S: Crowd/Mob/Riot Noise (Voices Only) - 14 people, 2 minutes HENRY VI by FillMat | License: Creative Commons 0S: Kicking_Dumpster.wav by kmyers1316 | License: Creative Commons 0S: System Notification by UNIVERSFIELD | License: Attribution 4.0S: Chatton.mp3 by Kastenfrosch | License: Creative Commons 0S: Keyboard Typing 1 (HHKB, Topre) by grcekh | License: Creative Commons 0S: Crowd gasp.wav by RadioCounseling | License: Creative Commons 0S: Smoke_Machine_Blast_Long.wav by Annesy | License: Creative Commons 0S: Traditional Church Organ Music [Florence - Italy] 03 by Skjor1 | License: Creative Commons 0Sound design by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.Cover art by Amanda Matalanis. The Middle-Aged Candy Store will return for Season 5.
  • 10. S4E10 - The Epics of Gail Gomish Parts 1 and 2

    20:02
    Thank you for listening to the Middle Aged Candy Store, produced by The Gathering. In this episode, we hear the tale Gail Gomish, a good woman of Ergu whose devotion to the gods and ownership of a Prius is not enough to save her from alien abduction. Meanwhile in the store, Karen’s accountant, Coolsworth, provides some devastating news about the store’s latest employee - but not before the store suffers dire consequences.The Epics of Gail Gomish, Parts One and Two, were written by Donnie Febbleston, performed by Carol McLeod and Donnie Febbleston, and produced by Donnie Febbleston.Intro and interstitial segments written by The Gathering and performed by Karen Loomer, Megan Liley, and Donnie Febbleston.Theme music by Donnie Febbleston and performed by Donnie and Linda Febbleston. All sound effects are licenced under Creative Commons Zero and can be found on freesound.org. Special thanks to: S: Magic Stars Retro Sparkle by smokinghotdog | License: Creative Commons 0S: Lighter flicker on and off.WAV by thomasanthony321 | License: Creative Commons 0S: Crowd Booing 3.mp3 by mrrap4food | License: Creative Commons 0S: Comedy FX by Evil_Ear_Recordings | License: Creative Commons 0S: [SFX] custom white noise by waveplaySFX | License: Creative Commons 0S: sweep.mp3 by PaperAirplaneBoy | License: Creative Commons 0S: Synth sweep by dippy_ | License: Creative Commons 0S: toaster_down 01.wav by ShadowSilhouette | License: Creative Commons 0S: Relaxing Beach Waves by ClubsHeartsSpadesDiamonds | License: Creative Commons 0Sound design by Donnie Febbleston.Cover art by Amanda Matalanis. Podcasts appear every first and third Tuesday of the month.
  • 8. S4E9 - The Canadian Pension Plan on Lady Luck to Win in the Ninth/Geographical enragement cavalcade

    23:56
    Thank you for listening to the Middle Aged Candy Store, produced by The Gathering. In this episode, Canada’s top politicians make some very poor decisions at the race track, and the Geographical Rage Enablement Action Team outlines some important updates. Meanwhile in the candy store, Crystal Ball and Monkey Paw help out our favourite ant-controlled Victorian orphans.The Canadian Pension Plan on Lady Luck to Win in the Ninth was written by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, performed by Donnie Febbleston, Megan Liley, and Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, and produced by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.Geographical Enragement Cavalcade was written, performed, and produced by Donnie Febbleston.Intro and interstitial segments written by The Gathering and performed by Megan Liley, Linda Febbleston, Donnie Febbleston, and Tony Culverwell.Theme music by Donnie Febbleston and performed by Donnie and Linda Febbleston. All sound effects are licenced under Creative Commons Zero and can be found on freesound.org. Special thanks to: S: Two Kazoo Fanfare.wav by pel2na | License: Creative Commons 0S: Light key jingling by redpanda69 | License: Creative Commons 0S: Crowd Screaming by DigestContent | License: Creative Commons 0S: slaps, face, foley, 10.flac by TRP | License: Creative Commons 0S: crowd ext large cheering parade overhead6 Montreal, Canada.flac by kyles | License: Creative Commons 0S: Clean and Pompous Fanfare Trumpet.mp3 by joepayne | License: Creative Commons 0S: Wild Horses Galopp by D4XX | License: Creative Commons 0S: Heathers Gunshot Effect2.wav by okieactor | License: Creative Commons 0S: crowd ext park medium activity after outdoor show quebecois voices steps on beer cans with distant city skyline Montreal, Canada.flac by kyles | License: Creative Commons 0S: synth banjo by SoundsExciting | License: Creative Commons 0S: R02-11-Hip Hip Hooray.wav by craigsmith | License: Creative Commons 0S: Ghost sigh2.wav by HorrorAudio | License: Creative Commons 0S: Gong.aif by DiArchangeli | License: Creative Commons 0S: Bottle Slide Wood_1-2.aif by lucaslara | License: Creative Commons 0S: eery ambience.aif by plamdi1 | License: Creative Commons 0S: horror Ghost low-pitched sound.wav by HaraldDeLuca | License: Creative Commons 0street small town or city light throaty traffic birds table saw spanish voices Saravena, Colombia 2016.flac by kyles -- https://freesound.org/s/405083/ -- License: Creative Commons 0Crows, park, urban, Stratford, 10.mp3 by TRP -- https://freesound.org/s/576476/ -- License: Creative Commons 0Sound design by Megan Liley.Cover art by Amanda Matalanis. Podcasts appear every first and third Tuesday of the month.
  • 8. S4E8 - Vehicles Abandoned in a Field: The Brickyards Bricklin/Jasmine's Time Travel

    25:58
    Thank you for listening to the Middle Aged Candy Store, produced by The Gathering.In this episode, we take in another episode of the hit series, “Vehicles Abandoned in a Field”, learning the sad story of Arthur Glendennis and his Bricklin SV-1, and hear a cautionary tale on the dangers of time travel. Meanwhile in the store, Karen is a guest on her favourite morning radio show, and Medusa has an unfortunate run-in with a coworker’s spouse during a visit from Dave and Avialannia.Vehicles Abandoned in a Field was written by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, performed by Tony Culverwell, Donnie Febbleston, Megan Liley, and Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, and produced by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.Jasmine’s Time Travel was written by Megan Liley, performed by Francois Schneider, with additional voices by The Gathering, and produced by Megan Liley.Intro and interstitial segments written by The Gathering and performed by Karen Loomer, Donnie Febbleston, Tony Culverwell, Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, and Adam Bailey.Theme music by Donnie Febbleston and performed by Donnie and Linda Febbleston.All sound effects are licenced under Creative Commons Zero. Special thanks to:S: Typing Real.wav by Kevinflo S: Shovel_Pick_Up.aif by crcavol S: 1125coughing.wav by sagetyrtle S: 20170101 Slide Glass Door 02 by kijjazS: teapot and tea cup.wav by rocuma S: Kettle by FlashTrauma S: 120621 Barn door interior, bangs, rattles BLYTH.flac by TRP S: Rustling foliage.WAV by DDT197 S: Walking Footsteps on Wood by sillygrizzlies S: traditionnal blacksmith by bruno.auzetS: Country Night Ambiance by forfieS: Crazy Bat by NicknameLarryS: Electro_Static.flac by TreyVZ S: Anniversary Vintage Music Box by f-r-a-g-i-l-e S: The Dramatic Music.wav by xtrgamrS: Small city outskirts at night, near prairie meadow with cricket, road traffic hum, dog barking far away in Santa Elena by felix.blume S: taratata.wav by milton.Sound design by Megan Liley.Cover art by Amanda Matalanis.Podcasts appear every first and third Tuesday of the month.
  • 7. S4E7 - Stacey Reporting Live/All Robocops are Bastards

    15:36
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  • 6. S4E6 - Lady Aspartame's Lover/Slobbering Vandal Support Group

    24:55
    Thank you for listening to the Middle Aged Candy Store, produced by The Gathering. In this episode, the famous Inspector Monocle visits the historic manor, High Dudgeon, to solve the foul murder of one Tom Hardhands. An organizing meeting for the Slobbering Vandals support group discusses problems with their silent auction as slobbering and breakage unfolds but just as the space station astronaut finishes his update to the group, the narrator describes a violent incursion of scheming emus, dolphin hair dryer salesmen and yawning gigglers. Meanwhile in the store, Karen encounters the fierce Gorak in her quest for revenge against the Candy Salesman.Lady Aspartame’s Lover was written by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, performed by Michael Giel, Tony Culverwell, Rachel Perry, Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, Donnie Febbleston, and Karen Loomer, and produced by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip. Incidental music by Johannes Sebastian Bach, performed by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip. Slobbering Vandal Support Group was written by Donnie Febbleston, performed by Megan Liley, Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, Karen Loomer, Tony Culverwell, and Donnie Febbleston, and produced by Donnie Febbleston.Intro and interstitial segments written by The Gathering and performed by Karen Loomer and Donnie Febbleston.Theme music by Donnie Febbleston and performed by Donnie and Linda Febbleston. All sound effects are licenced under Creative Commons Zero and can be found on freesound.org. Special thanks to: Dolphin Noise-.wav by jfournier18Lots of Morse Code by Buss1000Outro Quindar Tone by scy.wavhair dryer.wav by loullipop Cartoon Chicken Loud Single Screaming Squawk sound effect by Mastersoundboy2005Break Mirror002.wav by TetrisrockerIndoor adult murmur, couple.wav by SpliceSoundhandcuffs_taken_out_and_closed.wav by daboy291Bell rings timidly.wav by Fenodyrie dorm door opening.wav by pagancowSound design by Donnie Febbleston.Cover art by Amanda Matalanis. Podcasts appear every first and third Tuesday of the month.
  • 5. S4E5 - The Cat Experiment/Frescoes That Have Aged Poorly

    19:41
    Thank you for listening to the Middle Aged Candy Store, produced by The Gathering. In this episode, a cat owner learns why you don’t actually want to be able to hear what your cat has to say, and we learn the history of some unfortunate public art with Sister Eileen the Monotonous and Tiresome. Meanwhile in the candy store, Karen and Medusa meet Coolsworth, accountant extra-ordinaire, who describes his accounting school basketball triumphs over an anthropomorphic duck.The Cat Experiment was written by Donnie Febbleston, performed by Tony Culverwell, Donnie Febbleston, and Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, and produced by Donnie Febbleston.Frescoes That Have Aged Poorly was written by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, performed by Megan Liley, and produced by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.Intro and interstitial segments written by The Gathering and performed by Karen Loomer, Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, and Donnie Febbleston.Theme music by Donnie Febbleston and performed by Donnie and Linda Febbleston. Sound design by Tony Culverwell.Cover art by Amanda Matalanis. All sound effects are licenced under Creative Commons and can be found on freesound.org.Sound credits:S: Für Elise Music Box.mp3 by UltraGSV bplayers for door-open-close-with-bellnomiqbomi for uh-ohicsp for drop-of-waterprime45 for flute-mixaceinet for d-to-slow-youmaodin204 for fireworks-explosion-1maodin204 for fireworks-explosion-2maodin204 for fireworks-explosion-3visionear for explosion-fireworks-processed-ed-larez-vsnrpax11 for e_pop-120bpmvanyamba for fm-sitar-waveform-stereo-c2csaszi for pigeons_fly-away_-wing-flaps_csgmickeythesoundcollector2023 for concert-crowd-cheeringsoundslikeyukon for boys-shooting-hoops-on-wood-floorvhschool2019 for basketball-swishtgerginov for wind-wooshbezaard for the-roland-d-50s-sitar-testS: Car driving ambience by priesjensenS: New York Jazz Loop by FoolBoyMedia | License: Attribution NonCommercial 4.0S: British Television Programme.wav by a.transmissionPodcasts appear every first and third Tuesday of the month.
  • 4. S4E4 - Vehicles Abandoned in a Field: The Vauxhall/Monster Truck Latin Mass

    16:57
    Thank you for listening to the Middle Aged Candy Store, produced by The Gathering. In this episode, we learn the thrilling story behind an abandoned Vauxhall, and protect our eternal souls by attending Monster Truck Latin Mass. Meanwhile in the candy store, Karen invokes a genie to help her with her recruitment problems, and interviews some unlikely prospective employees.Vehicles Abandoned in a Field: The Vauxhall  was written by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, performed by Tony Culverwell, Megan Liley, Donnie Febbleston, Karen Loomer, and Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, and produced by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.Monster Truck Latin Mass was written, performed, and produced by Donnie Febbleston. Intro and interstitial segments written by The Gathering and performed by Karen Loomer, Tony Culverwell, Megan Liley, and Linda Febbleston. Theme music by Donnie Febbleston and performed by Donnie and Linda Febbleston. All sound effects are licenced under Creative Commons Zero and can be found on freesound.org. Special thanks to: s-cheremisinov for cinematic-rise-and-hit_02devern for cinematic-builddavejf for melody-loopsmokinghotdog for magic-stars-retro-sparklepjcohen for udustereoloopszegvari for dark-nord-cold-thriller-horror-voices-ambient-amb-myst-cinematic-surroundcrimeraaa for keyboardaboalgamer for mouse-click-sound-effectkyles for street small town or city light throaty traffic birds table saw spanish voices saravena colombiatrp for crows park urban stratford 10Volvion for latin-cathedral1969 Dodge Charger Car Horn by truss88girl gigle by ienbarecord scratch by luffybirds in the woods by berwitzbarrypirro for irish-jigdilsun for old_truck_metal_squeaks-creaks-rattle-impact_door_hollow_open_close_impactmorganpurkis for single-gunshot-52josephlarralde for metal-cupboard-doorwanaki for car-hornrodzuz for slap-in-the-faceSound design by Tony Culverwell.Cover art by Amanda Matalanis. Podcasts appear every first and third Tuesday of the month.
  • 3. S4E3 - Murderous Meg: The Carnival/Robot Contempt of Court

    24:40
    Thank you for listening to the Middle Aged Candy Store, produced by The Gathering.In this episode, Murderous Meg makes new friends at a carnival, and Pizzabot takes an ethical stand against the police state. Meanwhile in the candy store, Karen does some very unethical market research.Murderous Meg: The Carnival was written by Donnie Febbleston, performed by Megan Liley, Donnie Febbleston, Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, Karen Loomer, and Tony Culverwell, and produced by Donnie Febbleston.Robot Contempt of Court was written by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, performed by Donnie Febbleston, Tony Culverwell, Karen Loomer, Kristin Mueller-Heaslip, and Megan Liley, and produced by Kristin Mueller-Heaslip.Intro and interstitial segments written by The Gathering and performed by Karen Loomer and Donnie Febbleston.Theme music by Donnie Febbleston and performed by Donnie and Linda Febbleston.All sound effects are licenced under Creative Commons and can be found on freesound.org. Full sound effect credits are available here.Sound design by Megan Liley.Cover art by Amanda Matalanis.Podcasts appear every first and third Tuesday of the month.