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Show Up & Be Seen
What does safety have to do with authenticity?
In this episode I explore some of the obstacles and barriers to revealing our authenticity, which mainly stem from not feeling safe.
Our subconscious minds mistakenly believe that our authentic selves aren't good enough, acceptable, or allowable. It then "protects" us by creating personality layers like perfectionism and people pleasing, which help us fit in but cause a lot of emotional turmoil. We forget we aren't meant to "fit in". We're meant to be different and share our unique perspectives and voice.
Craving more authenticity?
GO AND MAKE SOME SPACE FOR YOURSELF
As with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment.
This podcast is recorded in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Treaty 6 Territory the traditional land of the Cree people and the homeland of the Métis Nation. If you’re not sure whose land you’re on I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca.
Podcast music by Elliot Middleton "An Exciting Future"
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1. Season 1: Introduction
18:27||Season 1, Ep. 1Making Space was born out of the idea that our authenticity is "protected" under layers of social conditioning, traumas, and fears.The goal in my work is to help elevate and empower through increasing self-knowledge, self-trust, self-awareness, self-compassion, basically all the "selves".You are the one that will heal you. AND - the "how" and "when" are out of all of our control. Healing is not linear, it takes its own path and time.I don't believe anyone is "blocked", broken, or needs "fixing".But we like to believe that because it appeals to the victim in us that feels out of control.By making space between the conditioning, trauma, fears, and our authentic selves, we can create a healed response (vs. knee jerk reactions that don't serve) and live in alignment.Where it's easier to surrender to the process AND feel empowered.From here we can really start to build an authentic, aligned life - safely.What Making Space is all about:clearing out old beliefs, old patterns, old thoughtsmaking space for more energy, vitality, connection, and empowermentAs with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment.Craving more authenticity?Website IG @making_space_with_jenGO AND MAKE SOME SPACE FOR YOURSELFThis podcast is recorded in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Treaty 6 Territory the traditional land of the Cree people and the homeland of the Métis Nation. If you’re not sure whose land you’re on I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca. Podcast music by Elliot Middleton "An Exciting Future"3. How perfectionism "protects" authenticity
24:59||Season 1, Ep. 3A lot of clients I worked with had perfectionistic qualities but didn't identify with that title. In this episode I break down the some of the common limiting beliefs that come from a perfectionistic mindset: having a harsh inner critic, unrealistic expectations, fear of failure, being hard on yourself, and having an "all-or-nothing" attitude.The root limiting belief around this? Those traits are what create success.No!Being hard on yourself typically creates fear, keeps you small, and the failure (which, is part of every goal process) is crippling.Having self-compassion, setting realistic goals, seeing failure as opportunity, and giving yourself more than two choices (not just all, or nothing) are what actually support you in reaching your authentic goals.Do you feel like you may have some perfectionistic tendencies? Check out this blog post I wrote: 10 Signs You're A Perfectionist.Craving more authenticity?Website IG @making_space_with_jen GO AND MAKE SOME SPACE FOR YOURSELFAs with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment. This podcast is recorded in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Treaty 6 Territory the traditional land of the Cree people and the homeland of the Métis Nation. If you’re not sure whose land you’re on I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca. Podcast music by Elliot Middleton "An Exciting Future"4. The People Pleasing Layer
29:26||Season 1, Ep. 4Ooof. People pleasing. I'm not vilifying it completely - sometimes we need to people please for a lot of different reasons - but let's be discerning and aware of our choices.This is important because it keeps us in our own sovereignty, in our own power, and protects us from a victim mentality. A victim mentality feels terrible, like you have no control, life is happening "to you" and not "for you". Subtle but HUGE difference when it comes to living authentically.This takes self-awareness, fails, and practice. So have self-compassion and patience for yourself learning new skills.And by the way, did you know: you have the right to say no without feeling guiltyyou have the right to make mistakes, to course correct, or change your mind (and you don't have to explain yourself)you have a right to your preferences, feelings, and needs (even with they're misunderstood or disagreed with)you have the right to create boundaries that feel good to you (even though the people that benefited from your lack of boundaries will not like it)you have the right to prioritize your self-care and this does not make you selfishHonestly - it took me a long time to realize these things. I didn't know I was "aloud" to make boundaries. I didn't know that a feeling is a good enough reason for any decision. It is. ❤️I read somewhere that it's ok to decline invites when you have white space in your calendar. You can be busy watching Netflix, having a bath, or doing nothing. Busy also means unavailable for what you were asked to do. This is OK.Also - Season 3 of the podcast is ALL about people pleasing :) Craving more authenticity?Website IG @making_space_with_jen GO AND MAKE SOME SPACE FOR YOURSELFAs with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment. This podcast is recorded in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Treaty 6 Territory the traditional land of the Cree people and the homeland of the Métis Nation. If you’re not sure whose land you’re on I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca. Podcast music by Elliot Middleton "An Exciting Future"5. Inner Child, Safety, & Authenticity
21:10||Season 1, Ep. 5I used to think inner child work was soooo cheesy! It made me think of self-help books in the 80's and it felt like a desperate last ditch effort before therapy.I have really done a 180 degree turn on this one and if you share my old belief, I'm really excited for you to hear my updated perspective.Inner child work has been the foundation for a lot of deep healing and the catalyst for a lot of growth and progress towards my authentic goals.If you felt the same way about inner child reparenting, I invite you to listen to this episode with an open heart and mind.Craving more authenticity?Website IG @making_space_with_jenGO AND MAKE SOME SPACE FOR YOURSELF As with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment. This podcast is recorded in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Treaty 6 Territory the traditional land of the Cree people and the homeland of the Métis Nation. If you’re not sure whose land you’re on I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca. Podcast music by Elliot Middleton "An Exciting Future"6. Why integration is crucial
20:52||Season 1, Ep. 6In this episode I explain what I mean by integration and why I believe that is such a key to transformation, healing, and transmuting stuck emotions and old beliefs.Don't skip it, thinking that slowing down or pausing won't get you where you want to go. Forcing, pushing, and going too fast cannibalize your process and leave you in danger of losing momentum and giving up entirely.I don't want you losing faith or giving up. I want you to reach your authentic goals because we all benefit from that.As with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment. ❤️ GO AND MAKE SOME SPACE FOR YOURSELFCraving more authenticity?Website IG @making_space_with_jenAs with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment.This podcast is recorded in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Treaty 6 Territory the traditional land of the Cree people and the homeland of the Métis Nation. If you’re not sure whose land you’re on I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca. Podcast music by Elliot Middleton "An Exciting Future"1. Season 2: Introduction
24:04||Season 2, Ep. 1Season 2 Worksheets - NO LONGER AVAILABLEWelcome to Season 2!After doing season one, I realized there were some big topics I wanted to go into deeper detail and perfectionism was one of those topics.How you know this season is for you:• You have a tough inner critic & are ridiculously hard on yourself• You can’t remember the last time you had a glorious failure – the kind where you give something your all but fail in an epic blaze of glory• You don’t dream big anymore• You self-sabotage• You never ask for help (you’d rather die trying)• You often feel resentful of others for asking so much• You’re “all-or-nothing” (and maybe proud of it)Join me with an open, curious mind in dissecting these themes and make space for perspective shifts and letting go of old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve.“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” Tom BodettShow Notes:Website IG @making_space_with_jenBooks:"The Pursuit of Perfect" By Tal Ben-Shahar"Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" By Carol Dweck❤️As with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment.This podcast is recorded in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Treaty 6 Territory the traditional land of the Cree people and the homeland of the Métis Nation. If you’re not sure whose land you’re on I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca. The podcast music is called Full Light Up the Stars by Gyom2. Season 2: Unlinking Failure & Worthiness
27:45||Season 2, Ep. 2Season 2 Worksheets - NO LONGER AVAILABLEIf we fail and make it mean there’s something flawed in our character, or personality, or inherit worth – and we think those things are unchangeable no matter how much effort we expend...then we are linking failure to our worthiness.This of course, is not true. We're inherently worthy. Full stop. Not contingent on anything.Need proof? Are you breathing? You're alive? You're worthy. Many of us have a sordid relationship with failure. We think if we fail, we aren't good enough. If we make a mistake, it means we aren't good enough. Remember, perfectionism wants us to believe in only black and white, and all-or-nothing. Trauma wants us to believe there has to be a trade-off. One or the other. Only two choices. In this episode I offer a perspective shift: give yourself more than two choices, more than all-or-nothing or just black and white. There can be grey, in between. There can be hundreds of choices! It can be "yes-and" (for my improv actors out there). You can: fail AND be worthy; make a mistake AND still be lovable. 🤯 Those concepts don't belong together, they are separate. Worthiness doesn't belong to any other concept. It just is. You are worthy. Full stop. Just cuz you're here. Failure is it's own concept. It doesn't have to mean anything other than "more practice required". We can stop beating ourselves up and treating common failures as epic failures.~ Website IG @making_space_with_jen~As with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment.This podcast is recorded in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Treaty 6 Territory the traditional land of the Cree people and the homeland of the Métis Nation. If you’re not sure whose land you’re on I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca. The podcast music is called Full Light Up the Stars by Gyom3. Season 2: Are you too hard on yourself?
26:30||Season 2, Ep. 3Season 2 Worksheets - NO LONGER AVAILABLEAre you a high functioning and high-performance person, with a harsh inner critic?Sometimes perfectionism creates this crazy kind of anxiety that can be disguised as: punctual, friendly, driven, detail-oriented, helpful, and organized.It might look like never asking for help, having crazy high expectations for yourself, and being really hard on yourself when you fall short (because if you let yourself off the hook, you’d just get unproductive/lazy).It’s that feeling of needing to be in constant motion because we think we can outrun anxiety.It's a coping mechanism and our subconscious programming has a lot to do with the original blueprint. "Being a 'good kid' often meant being 'mature'. We were often praised for not having big feelings, not making messes, not making noise. Thing is...kids really need to have big feelings, make messes, and make noise. 'Good kids' can often grow into anxious adults." Dr. Glenn DoyleShow NotesWebsite IG @making_space_with_jen As with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment. This podcast is recorded in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Treaty 6 Territory the traditional land of the Cree people and the homeland of the Métis Nation. If you’re not sure whose land you’re on I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca. The podcast music is called Full Light Up the Stars by Gyom