Making Space with Jen Pillipow
The People Pleasing Layer
Ooof. People pleasing.
I'm not vilifying it completely - sometimes we need to people please for a lot of different reasons - but let's be discerning and aware of our choices.
This is important because it keeps us in our own sovereignty, in our own power, and protects us from a victim mentality. A victim mentality feels terrible, like you have no control, life is happening "to you" and not "for you". Subtle but HUGE difference when it comes to living authentically.
This takes self-awareness, fails, and practice. So have self-compassion and patience for yourself learning new skills.
And by the way, did you know:
- you have the right to say no without feeling guilty
- you have the right to make mistakes, to course correct, or change your mind (and you don't have to explain yourself)
- you have a right to your preferences, feelings, and needs (even with they're misunderstood or disagreed with)
- you have the right to create boundaries that feel good to you (even though the people that benefited from your lack of boundaries will not like it)
- you have the right to prioritize your self-care and this does not make you selfish
Honestly - it took me a long time to realize these things. I didn't know I was "aloud" to make boundaries. I didn't know that a feeling is a good enough reason for any decision. It is. ❤️
I read somewhere that it's ok to decline invites when you have white space in your calendar. You can be busy watching Netflix, having a bath, or doing nothing. Busy also means unavailable for what you were asked to do. This is OK.
Also - Season 3 of the podcast is ALL about people pleasing :)
Craving more authenticity?
GO AND MAKE SOME SPACE FOR YOURSELF
As with all my work (and well, most everything), please listen with consideration of context, nuance, and discernment.
This podcast is recorded in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Treaty 6 Territory the traditional land of the Cree people and the homeland of the Métis Nation. If you’re not sure whose land you’re on I invite you to get curious by visiting native-land.ca.
Podcast music by Elliot Middleton "An Exciting Future"