The Don't Buy Her Flowers Podcast
Sex, Relationships & Motherhood: What have we learned? With Zoe Blaskey
Zoe Blaskey from The Motherkind Podcast joins with Steph and the Don’t Buy Her Flowers podcast for this end of year special! Steph and Zoe have each chosen three guests they spoke with on their own podcasts in 2022 to discuss and see what each other took from the guests.
The conversation centres around motherhood, identity, relationships and sex. Zoe has chosen Psychologists Dr Rick Hanson and Dr Becky Kennedy, both experts in motherhood, family and relationships, who speak brilliantly about our standards and expectations, where they might have come from and how we can lower them. Steph chose Dr Karen Gurney AKA The Sex Doctor and Laura Danger, who is a facilitator of the Fair Play method and wants to help couples understand and better divide the mental load. And then both Steph and Zoe interviewed Matt Fray, author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends. Some really beefy topics and thought provoking conversations.
And thank you for listening in 2022! Please rate, review and subscribe and we’ll be back with more in 2023.
- Zoe Blaskey Instagram
- Zoe’s website and information on coaching
- Steph’s Instagram
- Dr Rick Hanson’s episode with Zoe, Instagram and website
- Dr Karen Gurney’s episode with Steph, Instagram and website
- Dr Becky Kennedy’s, Instagram and book Good Inside
- Laura Danger AKA @thatdarnchat’s episode with Steph, Instagram and website
- Matt Fray’s Instagram and website. Matt’s episode with Steph and with Zoe
View all episodes
2. Navigating the early months of motherhood with comedian Kelly Convey52:18Steph chats with brilliant comedian Kelly Convey about motherhood; it’s all very fresh for Kelly as she has had two babies with a fifteen month gap, her second still only seven months old. Steph and Kelly discuss those early months of motherhood, flashing the postman, feeling annoyed with your partner and navigating advice from others. Kelly talks about baby group blunders and making mum friends (or not!). As a stand up, they discuss the pros and cons of Kelly being back onstage supporting Alan Carr three months after having a baby, trying to find balance between work and babies, and how she feels that becoming a mum has helped her comedy and connection with the audience. This episode is sponsored by HotTea Mama, makers of delicious, organic, award-winning, whole leaf teas specially designed to support women’s wellness. Get 20% off with the code DBHF20 at hotteamama.com Kelly’s TikTokKelly’s websiteKelly’s InstagramSteph’s InstagramThe Don’t Buy Her Flowers updated Create a New Mum Gift Box
1. Why we’re all Overwhelmed and how to get through it, with Brigid Schulte59:01Steph talks with writer and speaker Brigid Schulte about Overwhelm, where it comes from and what we can do to rally against it. Brigid brilliantly uses research and history to understand how we got here, and reassures that when it feels hard, it’s because it is. Brigid explains why women feel they don’t deserve free time, why we feel we have to ‘excel’ at motherhood and importantly, what all this pressure and juggling does to women’s physical and mental health, careers and relationships. They discuss how women find it difficult to live in the moment because of the volume of roles and responsibilities they’re juggling, how children coming along makes the imbalance even more difficult, and the societal expectations that impacts men and women trying to find a better balance. And Brigid offers some advice on how to turn down the volume on it all, and advises we all need to ‘let that shit go’ Brigid shares what she’s learned as a journalist at The Washington Post, author of ‘Overwhelmed’ (2014) and the Director of Better Life Lab at New America, the work-family justice and gender equity program at New America, a nonpartisan think tank. Thank you to Naturalmat for sponsoring this episode, handmakers of organic beds and mattresses, and DBHF podcast listeners can get 15% off with the code DBHF15 Brigid’s book ‘Overwhelmed – How to work, love and play when noone has the time’.Brigid’s TwitterBetter Life Lab at New America Brigid’s InstagramSteph’s InstagramThoughtful Gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
11. Business Special: how brain surgery led to Scamp & Dude, with Jo Tutchener Sharp54:02Jo Tutchener Sharp, Founder and CEO, tells Steph about how life-changing brain surgery led to her hugely successful purpose-led fashion brand Scamp & Dude. From childrenswear to now 95% womenswear, a shop in Marlow and two more opening this Summer 2023, Jo’s PR background and desire to ‘do better’ have combined to create powerful partnerships, charity work and donations, alongside much-loved clothing. Jo talks about setting up and then leaving her previous PR business, in a not ideal situation after her second child was born and then being told that she would need brain surgery. Jo tells Steph how that has fundamentally changed her and impacted her as owner at Scamp & Dude. They talk about the thrill of spotting Scamp & Dude in the wild, managing a team, working with her husband Rob, and how Jo copes (or sometimes doesn’t) with running a business and having a family. This episode is sponsored by HR consultancy HR Star, who want to reinvent the poor reputation of HR. Visit http://www.hr-star.co.uk/ for more information and quote DBHF for 10% off their People Strategy Session. Scamp & Dude’s websiteJo’s InstagramScamp & Dude’s InstagramSteph’s Instagram
10. Burnout in the rush hour with Psychotherapist Siobhán Murray53:01Psychotherapist Siobhán Murray talks with Steph about Burnout. Originally coined in the 1970s to describe an occupational phenomenon, recent decades have seen an increase in people experiencing burnout as we’re ‘nearly always switched on’. Siobhán and Steph talk about why this is, what makes women in the Rush Hour susceptible to burnout, and the signs and symptoms to identify it. Siobhan goes into ideas on how to manage burnout, and gives some detail on the tools that will help, which are explained in her book The Burnout Solution, a step-by-step 12 week plan. This episode is sponsored by HR consultancy HR Star, who want to reinvent the poor reputation of HR. Visit http://www.hr-star.co.uk/ for more information and quote DBHF for 10% off their People Strategy Session. The Burnout Solution by Siobhán Murray Siobhan’s websiteSiobhan’s InstagramSteph’s Grazia article on The Rush HourSteph’s Instagram https://www.instagram.com/steph_dontbuyherflowers/?hl=en
9. Biz Ep: Turning a food blog into a business with Sarah Rossi AKA Taming Twins48:10Sarah Rossi and Steph talk about how Sarah’s online profile, where she’s known as ‘Taming Twins’, has rocketed in the last 12 months. She talks with Steph about her career so far, from starting a bakery that she loved, and recognising that she couldn’t scale the business because it relied on her being physically there too much. Sarah’s blog Taming Twins started out as a creative outlet to share about her life with twins, until she noticed that recipes she shared were getting more traction. Sarah talks about blogging for ten years, growing a steady following and then pausing after a book deal came along, when she asked herself and her followers ‘what do people actually want?’. Simply, the feedback told her what they wanted was help with dinner. What ingredients did they need? What could they cook that everyone would eat? And make it quick! Off the back of that renewed focus on her customer, Sarah’s following on insta alone is over 350k, she has written Sunday Times bestseller ‘What’s for Dinner?’, quick and easy fuss-free family meals, and has a second book out in September 2023. Sarah talks about her income, becoming very strategic with her use of SEO and display ads and not relying on sponsorship and avoiding having to flog something to her followers that they don’t want, now that she is clear on her mission that she wants to be useful to families and take the stress out of the question ‘What’s For Dinner?’. Sarah’s book What’s for Dinner? Preorder Book Two What’s for Dinner in One Pot? Sarah’s Instagram and TikTok Sarah’s website Taming Twins for fuss-free recipes and meal plans Steph’s Instagram
8. Business special: Business, leading and burnout with Alex Depledge, MBE41:38Steph chats with businesswoman Alex Depledge for a Business Special episode of the podcast. Alex is undoubtedly a brilliant entrepreneur, having co-founded, grown and sold first business Hassle.com for €32m, before starting another tech platform – Resi.co.uk – the UK's largest and only nationwide residential architectural platform. Alex’s ‘thing’ is disrupting with a tech solution, and cutting deals, both of which she’s very good at. She appears to have no fear, has been involved with a number of bodies, boards and think tanks, and is passionately championing women in a male-dominated industry. Alex is incredibly straight-talking but doesn’t shy away from being vulnerable, about the challenges of being the boss, including the stress and emotion of leading a business through Covid, trying to balance work and family. Alex also says that she’s grateful for the burnout she went through at 27, because it taught her a lot early on that most people experience a bit later while also trying to manage a family and having greater responsibility to juggle. This episode is sponsored by HR consultancy HR Star, who want to reinvent the poor reputation of HR. Visit http://www.hr-star.co.uk/ for more information and quote DBHF for 10% off their People Strategy Session. Resi.co.uk Alex talks about starting and selling Hassle.com on the Secret Leaders podcast Alex on Jimmy’s Jobs of the Future podcast Alex’s Instagram Steph’s Instagram
7. New To Mum Hood? Illiyin Morrison and Sophie McCartney talk us through it57:51Steph speaks with Illiyin Morrison and Sophie McCartney (AKA Tired and Tested) about those early days and months of motherhood, as part of the Lost For Words series. Rather than gloss over it, Sophie and Illy both have careers that centre on being reassuringly honest about motherhood, and in turn offering support to women who may be finding it tougher than expected. Illy trained as a midwife and now helps women debrief after birth, and Sophie is a comedian and bestselling author with a huge Instagram account sharing the trials (and hilarity) of motherhood. Illy and Sophie talk about the early days, their feelings of failure and guilt about not doing it ‘right’, whether that’s the birth, breastfeeding, or just being a mum. They talk about obsessing about sleep and feeding, sweaty weigh ins, baby groups and having babies at the same time as Kate Middleton. They also discuss comparison and expectation, and the impact babies can have on a relationship. This conversation will make new mums feel better, or if someone further down the line thinks they did a terrible job, it will let them know that none of us knew what we were doing. Thank you to Naturalmat for sponsoring this series, handmakers of organic beds and mattresses, and DBHF podcast listeners can get 15% off with the code DBHF15 Tired and Tested: The Wild Ride into Parenthood by Sophie McCartney The Birth Debrief by Illiyin Morrison (out 16th March 2023) Mother Hens by Sophie McCartney (out 30th March 2023) If you’re struggling with parenthood, try contacting Home-Start UK Illy’s Instagram Sophie’s Instagram Steph’s Instagram The NEW Create a New Mum Gift Box at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
6. Business Special: March Muses founders Alison Burton and Natalie Duvall37:55Each month, the DBHF podcast will speak with founders for a business episode, to find out how they’re doing it. The strapline for Alison Burton and Natalie Duvall’s business March Muses is ‘Celebrating Diversity by Diversifying Celebrations’. It begun from a search for Christmas decorations that represented the black community, and opened up a world of possibilities with the realisation that so many celebrations are lacking that representation. Steph talks with Alison and Natalie about how they started, their successful Dragon’s Den pitch that resulted in investment from Deborah Meaden and Peter Jones, and the impact 2020 had on their business with the murder of George Floyd, the BLM movement and the pandemic. They also explain how it feels when the swell of support subsides but the racism and need for support hasn’t gone away. As single mums who work full time as well as managing March Muses, Alison and Natalie talk about how they cope with the juggle and their hopes for the future of the business. This episode is sponsored by HR consultancy HR Star, who want to reinvent the poor reputation of HR. Visit http://www.hr-star.co.uk/ for more information and quote DBHF for 10% off their People Strategy Session. March MusesWatch the Dragon’s Den pitchBlack Mums UpfrontShonda Rhimes ‘How do you do it all?’ speechMarch Muses InstagramSteph’s Instagram
5. Lost for Words; Cancer with Emma Campbell and Leanne Pero51:29Continuing the Lost For Words series, Steph speaks with Leanne Pero and Emma Campbell about Cancer. Both women have been diagnosed with breast cancer – Leanne is in remission and Emma continues with regular treatment after her third diagnosis in 2019. Both women are incredibly honest about their experience, struggles and the mental health impact. Sometimes the voices of cancer are either gloomy or exceptionally brave, but it is clear from this conversation that it is so much more nuanced. Leanne and Emma explain the imprint of fear that a cancer diagnosis leaves and the impact that will forever have on their lives but they also talk about hope and gratitude. The discussion includes social media, where there is an incredible cancer community that can be a huge support but how it can sometimes be a trigger that keeps someone in the ‘cancer world’, so they talk about boundaries. They also share their thoughts on how someone going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment can start to get their head around it, and the different things that might help them. Leanne talks about the stigma around cancer in the black community, that lead her to found Black Women Rising. Listen to Leanne on the Black Women Rising podcast with Leanne Emma’s advice on what to say to someone who has been diagnosed with Cancer Leanne on Emma’s podcast Open Emma’s Book All That Followed Leanne’s InstagramEmma’s Instagram Steph’s Instagram The Stand Up To Cancer Care Package