The Don't Buy Her Flowers Podcast


Sex in Long Term Relationships with Dr Karen Gurney

Season 3, Ep. 4

Dr Karen Gurney AKA The Sex Doctor is on a mission to help us understand how desire works, particularly in women, because it is NOT the spontaneous desire that we see in the movies. In fact, she says ‘It is normal to never feel like sex, out of the blue, ever, in a long term relationship’.

As well as female desire, Steph and Karen discuss how sex changes from those exciting early flushes at the start of a relationship, the impact of having children and the mental load, talking to kids about sex, and how we can future-proof our sex life, including through increasing ‘Sexual Currency’.

Dr Karen also answers listener questions, about sex after having a baby, infidelity, not feeling attracted to your partner and never feeling like sex, even though it’s always good ‘once we’re doing it’.

More Episodes


New To Mum Hood? Illiyin Morrison and Sophie McCartney talk us through it

Season 7, Ep. 7
Steph speaks with Illiyin Morrison and Sophie McCartney (AKA Tired and Tested) about those early days and months of motherhood, as part of the Lost For Words series. Rather than gloss over it, Sophie and Illy both have careers that centre on being reassuringly honest about motherhood, and in turn offering support to women who may be finding it tougher than expected. Illy trained as a midwife and now helps women debrief after birth, and Sophie is a comedian and bestselling author with a huge Instagram account sharing the trials (and hilarity) of motherhood. Illy and Sophie talk about the early days, their feelings of failure and guilt about not doing it ‘right’, whether that’s the birth, breastfeeding, or just being a mum. They talk about obsessing about sleep and feeding, sweaty weigh ins, baby groups and having babies at the same time as Kate Middleton. They also discuss comparison and expectation, and the impact babies can have on a relationship. This conversation will make new mums feel better, or if someone further down the line thinks they did a terrible job, it will let them know that none of us knew what we were doing. Thank you to Naturalmat for sponsoring this series, handmakers of organic beds and mattresses, and DBHF podcast listeners can get 15% off with the code DBHF15 Tired and Tested: The Wild Ride into Parenthood by Sophie McCartney The Birth Debrief by Illiyin Morrison (out 16th March 2023) Mother Hens by Sophie McCartney (out 30th March 2023) If you’re struggling with parenthood, try contacting Home-Start UK Illy’s Instagram Sophie’s Instagram Steph’s Instagram The NEW Create a New Mum Gift Box at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

Lost for Words; Cancer with Emma Campbell and Leanne Pero

Season 7, Ep. 5
Continuing the Lost For Words series, Steph speaks with Leanne Pero and Emma Campbell about Cancer. Both women have been diagnosed with breast cancer – Leanne is in remission and Emma continues with regular treatment after her third diagnosis in 2019. Both women are incredibly honest about their experience, struggles and the mental health impact. Sometimes the voices of cancer are either gloomy or exceptionally brave, but it is clear from this conversation that it is so much more nuanced. Leanne and Emma explain the imprint of fear that a cancer diagnosis leaves and the impact that will forever have on their lives but they also talk about hope and gratitude. The discussion includes social media, where there is an incredible cancer community that can be a huge support but how it can sometimes be a trigger that keeps someone in the ‘cancer world’, so they talk about boundaries. They also share their thoughts on how someone going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment can start to get their head around it, and the different things that might help them. Leanne talks about the stigma around cancer in the black community, that lead her to found Black Women Rising. Listen to Leanne on the Black Women Rising podcast with Leanne Emma’s advice on what to say to someone who has been diagnosed with Cancer Leanne on Emma’s podcast Open Emma’s Book All That Followed  Leanne’s InstagramEmma’s Instagram Steph’s Instagram The Stand Up To Cancer Care Package