The Don't Buy Her Flowers Podcast

In this powerful conversation, Steph is joined by Elliott Rae, speaker, podcaster, writer and social changemaker, to explore how masculinity is being renegotiated in today's world.They dig into how traditional gender roles are evolving, why relationships shift after having children, and the ways societal expectations impact men’s mental health and fatherhood. They also discuss the influence of online culture on teenage boys, the lessons from the BBC drama Adolescence, and why open conversations (especially the messy, imperfect ones) are critical for change.This episode is an honest, moving and often funny look at how we can create more equal partnerships, raise emotionally healthy boys, and support men to step outside the outdated "provider and protector" model. Steph and Elliott reflect on friendship, community, parenting through adolescence, and how small changes in how we live, talk, and connect can make a huge difference - for men, for families, and for society as a whole.Elliott Rae is one of the UK’s most prominent writers and speakers on fatherhood, men’s mental health and masculinity. Elliott created the Parenting Out Loud campaign and culture change programme which has revolutionised the national conversation about working fathers. Through Parenting Out Loud, Elliott supports employers to build workplace cultures where dads can be loud and proud about their caring responsibilities at work.As an author, Elliott curated the bestselling book, DAD, and as a presenter, he fronted the seminal BBC One documentary ‘Becoming Dad’ which was one of the 20 most watched documentaries across the whole BBC network in 2022.Elliott co-hosts the popular podcast, To Be A Boy, which is one of the top parenting podcasts in the UK and he has written for publications such as The Independent, The Telegraph and Grazia and frequently appears across the media, including a feature on Loose Women and regular contributions to Radio 5 Live and BBC Radio London.Steph’s InstagramThoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her FlowersThis episode we are proud to have an excellent sponsor:Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.

Parenting teenagers and navigating midlife can feel like a perfect storm. One moment you’re managing eye-rolls and slammed doors, the next you’re questioning why no one warned you about perimenopause. In this episode, Steph is joined by journalist, author, and parenting pro Lorraine Candy for a frank and reassuring conversation about raising teens, handling hormones, and keeping a sense of humour through it all.In this episode Steph and Lorraine cover:Why teenagers behave like they do (and how to stay calm when they don’t)Talking to your kids about relationships, social media and boundariesThe truth about perimenopause and why so many women feel dismissedWhy midlife and parenting teens can feel like an emotional rollercoasterPractical strategies for keeping communication open and family life less stressfulLorraine also opens up about midlife, perimenopause and why so many women feel unsupported when they seek medical help. From advocating for yourself at the GP to understanding why teenagers don’t seem to "see" mess, this conversation is packed with insights, humour and reassurance for parents in the thick of it.In this episode, we discuss:The teenage brain: why logic often goes out the windowHow to talk to your kids about sex, relationships, and social mediaThe struggles of perimenopause and why GPs still don’t have the right answersWhy midlife and parenting teens collide in unexpected waysThe importance of connection, dinner table conversations, and knowing when to back offLorraine Candy, is an author, editor and podcaster. She co-hosts the Postcards From Midlife podcast with Trish Halpin, host of The Times' podcast, The Parent Pod and is the author of 3 incredible books. She is a former editor of Cosmo, ELLE and Sunday Times Style and a mum of four children.Steph’s InstagramThoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her FlowersThis episode we are proud to have two excellent sponsors:Anara Skincare - luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.

Steph sits down with her husband of 17 years, Mark (Doug) Douglas, for an unfiltered and often hilarious deep dive into marriage, equality at home, and the invisible workload that often falls on women. From their whirlwind romance and early parenting struggles to resentment, gender roles, and the reality of balancing careers and family, no topic is off-limits.Doug is a finance professional navigating the ever-evolving dynamics of modern partnerships. As a couple, Steph and Doug have had to unlearn traditional gender roles, redefine teamwork, and figure out how to stop bickering about the food shop. Spoiler alert - they don’t have it all figured out!We Talk About:The Mental Load & Motherhood - Why Steph felt trapped while Doug got to enjoy a solo train ride and a Pret sandwich.When the Kindness Goes - How exhaustion and resentment creep into long-term relationships.
Relearning Equality - The moment Doug realized doing the food shop wasn’t just about clicking ‘repeat order’ on Tesco.Paternity Leave & Male Privilege - Why many men still hesitate to take time off and what needs to change.The Pancake Revelation - A seemingly small act that transformed their approach to sharing responsibilities.The Chats That Changed Everything - From Eve Rodsky’s episode, How to Make it Fair to Matt Frey's This Is How Your Marriage Ends, the resources that helped them shift their mindset.With plenty of laughter, some uncomfortable truths, and a whole lot of real talk, this episode is for anyone who has ever argued about housework, felt unseen in their relationship, or just wants to feel less alone in the chaos of modern family life.And for those of you listening in real time, let's not forget that Mother's Day is just around the corner and Don't Buy Her Flowers is on standby to help you with a thoughtful gift that shows the mother in your life the gratitude they so deserve!Steph’s InstagramThoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her FlowersThis episode we are proud to have two excellent sponsors:Anara Skincare - luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.We recorded this episode at Patch in Twickenham, which is a co-working space and they have another four locations in England. Patch are offering 50% off the first two months membership with the code Steph50. Go to patch.work

Steph chats with Rob and Josie da Bank about what it’s like to run a festival with your partner, and how they make it work alongside having four children. After 32 years together, and many festivals under their belts, they talk about the difficult bits, how they divide and conquer, and how helping people escape real life, screens and make some IRL memories is what drives them. With Camp Bestival around the corner, in Dorset and then Shropshire, Rob and Josie share what they’re excited about. Their book ‘Camp Bestival at Home’ is out now, giving readers a behind the scenes peak at Camp Bestival as well as recipes and activities to enjoy through the seasons, and thoughts on festivals from the likes of Fatboy Slim, Sara Cox and Sophie Ellis Bextor.This episode is sponsored by Kiddiwhizz, creator of the Whizzer, a portable loo for kids and adults. Use code DBHF for a 20% discount until the end of June www.kiddiwhizz.com Camp Bestival at Home book (and available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages)Camp Bestival InstagramRob da Bank’s InstagramSteph’s InstagramThoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

Feel like you do everything at home, or at least more than is your fair share? This one’s for you. Steph speaks with Eve Rodsky - Harvard-grad lawyer, activist and New York Times Bestselling author of Fair Play. Eve is working to change society one partnership at a time by coming up with a new 21st-century solution to an age-old problem: women shouldering 2/3 or more of the unpaid domestic work and childcare for their homes and families. Eve and Steph talk about the massive impact this has not only on relationships, with couples everywhere hissing and resentful while trying to navigate this, but also the workplace, the pay gap, and our mental and physical health. They also talk about what’s in it for men to get more involved, and how do you bring them to the table. Eve’s book Fair PlayFind out more about the Fair Play systemEve’s InstagramSteph’s InstagramThoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers This episode is sponsored by gift experience website The Indytute

Steph talks with author, journalist and mental health campaigner Bryony Gordon about her new book Mad Woman, an account of her life and challenges over the last few years. With a live audience at Henley Literary Festival, in classic Bryony-style, she brings lots of energy, honesty and humour to the conversation, in which they discuss depression, OCD, Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder, addiction and alcoholism and being perimenopausal and a woman in her 40s. Bryony’s InstagramMental Health MatesBuy Bryony’s book Mad WomanSteph’s InstagramSteph’s gift company Don’t Buy Her FlowersHenley Literary Festival

Steph talks with Dr Kirren Schnack, Clinical Psychologist and author of Ten Times Calmer, a book with tools to help beat anxiety. The conversation starts by understanding what anxiety is, what happens when we’re anxious, what are the triggers and what is happening to our nervous system. They discuss the impact having children can have on anxiety, and with the festive season around the corner, they also talk about how to avoid Christmas anxiety.Steph and Kirren then chat about some of the basics for good mental health, plus Dr Kirren talks through some of the tools to help bring some calm.This episode is sponsored by The Indytute, handpicked experiences all tried and tested by another female founder, Calypso Rose. Use the code Steph10 for 10% off via www.indytute.com Ten Times Calmer: Beat Anxiety and Change Your Life by Dr Kirren SchnackKirren’s websiteKirren’s InstagramSteph’s InstagramDon’t Buy Her Flowers Christmas Gift Guide

Recorded Live at the Henley Literary Festival, Steph interviews Louise Boyce AKA Mama Still Got It, Gill Sims and Clara Batten live from a Town Hall full of women out for a Friday night! Join them as they discuss the rollercoaster of motherhood - the first year of being a mum, identity, holidays with kids, the PTA, and Louise’s gross middle-of-the-night payback on her husband. Expect some swearing, some drinking and a touch of raucous. This episode is sponsored by Ancient + Brave, who create pure, potent and sustainable supplements, and are offering 20% off with the code DBHF20 Louise’s Instagram and book Gill’s Instagram, Facebook and book Clara’s Instagram, Tik Tok and bookSteph’s InstagramFor future Henley Literary Festival eventsDon’t Buy Her Flowers Christmas Gift Guide