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Death, Sex & Money
The Patient and Cunning Work of Defending LGBTQ Rights with a Republican Supermajority
In West Virginia, Republicans hold one of the largest supermajorities in the country, and it’s growing. Just 11 Democrats — down from 14 last year — are in the 134-member Legislature. It's a political reality that isn't necessarily conducive to advancing LGBTQ rights. But that's Andrew Schneider's job.
As head of Fairness West Virginia, Andrew has spent a decade as the only full-time lobbyist at the state capitol working on LGBTQ issues. His approach? Winning people over through listening rather than confrontation, a strategy he developed in college when he purposely chose a conservative campus to practice changing minds.
"I quickly realized that if I sat back and let someone talk to me and did not jump in and judge, they would trust me and we could actually have a meaningful conversation where ultimately I could inject my views," Andrew said.
In this episode we talk to Andrew, and political leaders in West Virginia whom he’s lobbied, about his relational approach to getting through issues that matter to him, and how that strategy is being tested in Donald Trump’s second term.
This episode is part of a series we’re calling Living At Odds, you can hear the rest of the series in the Slate podcast How To!
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
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610. Ms. Pat Spent Years Hiding She Was Poor. Then She Got on Stage
49:22||Ep. 610A welfare caseworker first told Ms. Pat she had a knack for turning painful stories into comedy. She was 20, fresh out of prison for selling drugs, and already in charge of six kids–some hers, some the children of family members who needed a safe place to stay. It would take 10 more years for Ms. Pat to get on stage at an open mic, but once she started, she didn’t stop. She now sells out shows and has starred in a BET+ sitcom based on her life for five seasons.In this episode, Ms. Pat talks about moving between economic classes and the lies she told to blend in, learning to manage money from her husband, and building the big, full house she never had growing up.Ms. Pat’s latest memoir is called Ms. American Dream: A Memoir of Making It, No Matter What.Podcast production by Zoe AzulayDeath, Sex & Money is produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
609. Kidnapping Survivor Elizabeth Smart is Doing True Crime Differently
52:08||Ep. 609In 2002, when Elizabeth Smart was taken from her bed by a stranger, the media covered it day and night. When Elizabeth returned home nine months later, she slowly began to learn to tell her own story, in her own words. This week on the show, she explains what it’s been like to revisit those traumatic details in her 2013 memoir, in a Netflix documentary, and in her new podcast The Survivor Files, where she and other victims walk through their experiences slowly and carefully. She also talks about her new bodybuilding hobby and how she talks to her kids about safety and risk-taking. Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Get more with Death, Sex & Money Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen.If you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
608. Side Effects May Include Headaches, Sleep Eating, Buying Power Tools
52:47||Ep. 608For this episode, we asked for your stories about medication side effects. You told us about the weird, from sleep-eating to compulsive spending. You told us about making trade-off calculations: Is an improved mood worth a decreased sex drive? And we heard about the loneliness of living with side effects that alter your quality of life when you have a condition that depends on lifelong treatment.Podcast production by Zoe AzulayDeath, Sex & Money is produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos and pitches is, deathsexmoney@slate.com.
607. Comedian Murray Hill on the Teachers Who Freed Him From an Unsafe Home
57:51||Ep. 607Now famous as a New York City nightlife fixture and for his role on Somebody Somewhere, comedian Murray Hill used to keep his personal history private. In fact, the persona of “Murray Hill” started as a drag king character modeled after old-timey comedians. Over time, though, the gap between the character and the man has shrunk. This week on the show, Murray opens up about everything: his upbringing in Connecticut with a family who could be cruel and abusive, teachers who looked out for him, and friends who helped the real Murray emerge. His new memoir is called Showbiz!: My Life as a Middle-Aged Man. The interview with Norman Lear that Anna mentions can be found here. Get more with Death, Sex & Money Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the Death, Sex & Money show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen.If you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
605. Remembering John Prine on His 80th, With His Wife Fiona
37:45||Ep. 605To mark John Prine’s 80’s birthday, Anna catches up with his wife Fiona. Then we revisit Anna’s 2018 conversation with John, where he discussed his bestselling album Tree of Forgiveness. Podcast production by Cameron Drews.Right now, we’re running a deal on Death, Sex & Money Plus memberships! Sign up to get bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/dsmplus and use promo code DSM50 to get 50% off your membership – a full year of Death, Sex & Money Plus for $59. If you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, and critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
603. Ada Limón Lives in 'Vertical Time' in Her Childhood Home
57:35||Ep. 603After three years as Poet Laureate, Ada Limón craved a smaller, more private life. Then she saw a sign: her childhood home was for sale. In this episode, Anna and Ada talk about writing, memory, chronic pain and making a life where she started.Ada Limón’s latest book is called Against Breaking: On the Power of Poetry. She’s also the editor of You Are Here: Poetry In the Natural World. Death, Sex & Money is produced by Slate. To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
602. Stavros Halkias Worries Fame Might Kill Him
50:40||Ep. 602This year, Stavros Halkias released a stand-up special, appeared in the Anthony Bourdain biopic Tony, and continued his run on the hit Netflix show Tires. Despite the high points, he says this year has also been “torture.”This week on the show, Stavros breaks down why success and unhealthy habits go hand in hand for him. He also traces his upbringing in a working-class immigrant family in Baltimore, his experiences in therapy, and his growing aptitude for flirting with women. Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Right now, we’re running a deal on Death, Sex & Money Plus memberships! Sign up to get bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/dsmplus and use promo code DSM50 to get 50% off your membership – a full year of Death, Sex & Money Plus for $59. If you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
600. My Homeschool Curriculum Was My Mother’s Unhappiness
55:25||Ep. 600Stefan’s mother said he was too smart for public school and took him out of 4th grade. But instead of studying, Stefan’s homeschool curriculum was organized around keeping his mother company and pretending he wouldn’t grow up and leave her. In this episode, Stefan Merrill Block talks about his five year homeschool experience, how it shaped him as a father and writer, and the ambivalence of loving a parent while recognizing the harm they caused. Stefan Merrill Block’s memoir Homeschooled is out now.Podcast production by Zoe Azulay Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.
599. How I “Failed” at OnlyFans
01:00:04||Ep. 599Anna Blake started an OnlyFans account, not as a pleasure project, but to achieve some financial stability. When she found out she hated the work and made little money, her relationship to sex – and to money – had to change. This week on the show, she talks to Anna Sale about being homeschooled as a kid, having few job prospects as a young adult with a G.E.D., and the class conversation that she feels is missing from the discourse about sex work. You can read Anna Blake’s writing at nothingseriousbyannablake.substack.com, or you can follow her on TikTok at tiktok.com/@nerdnextdoorbabe. Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Right now, we’re running a deal on Death, Sex & Money Plus memberships! Sign up to get bonus episodes of DSM and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/dsmplus and use promo code DSM50 to get 50% off your membership – a full year of Death, Sex & Money Plus for $59. If you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.