Creature of the Night

It's EARLY AF!!!! which means Rach is awake (gross!) and on high alert for ancient pathogens and microscopic amoebas that could kill you...slide into the DM's and let me know if you would like to do the weather and/or traffic report @elfymama

Did you know it's Dracula Day on May 26??! so Rach has come up with some ideas on how you should celebrate the Prince of Darkness..... tangents include but not limited to; breaking news regarding COREY FELDMAN, slurpees, and the reasons why Jonathan Harker is a little bitch...slide into the DM's @elfymama and let me know if you would like to be imprisoned in a sex dungeon with lesbian vampires??PS. watch Bram Stoker's DRACULA

In a world first, Rach raises the dead (for a podcast) in order to ask MICHAEL JACKSON some very important questions regarding COREY FELDMANtangents include but not limited to: the trials of choosing your own headstone, the DANIEL JOHNS REAL ESTATE NEWS, an upcoming OnlyFans subscription service, and a really crap song performed by EDWARD FURLONG...slide into the DM's and let me know if you think they should remake 'The Godfather' with MACAULAY CULKIN @elfymamaPS. listen to the predecessor and learn more about Edward Furlong's criminal escapades AND the ongoing saga of The Daniel Johns Hedge ReportPPS. read about the f*cked up relationship between Michael Jackson & Debbie Rowe

COREY FELDMAN has been making egregious claims about Michael Jackson! AND he's dropped some new music!! (so stop what you are doing right now and listen up).... tangents include but not limited to: sex symbols doing OnlyFans at 52 years old, THE REJECTED NEWS, and important updates regarding THE MOON that you need to be aware of..slide into the DMs and let me know if you would prefer to be Lestat or Louis on Vampire Night @elfymama

once again, Rach has been forced to get up early and record THE MORNING SHOW... (gross)....tangents include but not limited to: sharks on cocaine, The David Lynch Weather Report, and the pitfalls of being struck by lightning whilst using the phone..slide into the DM's if you are a scientist who studies the art of jizz-physics @elfymamaPS. RIP Pinchy

Will makes an appearance to talk about the (worst) zombie movie ever made.... THE ZOMBIE KING!!! (starring Edward Furlong and Corey Feldman)... tangents include but not limited to: how to survive a lice infestation, the reptilian overlords (respect!!), and a multitude of apocalypse scenarios..slide into the DM's and let us know what you think the budget was for this crap film @elfymamaPS. watch THE ZOMBIE KING (on YouTube) if you dare...

Rach has some REJECTED NEWS for you this week, and COREY FELDMAN updates!! but most importantly... apparently there's a Basic Instinct Reboot in the works !??!! which means Rach has been sitting around writing a script for this esteemed project (just in case Joe Eszterhas can't find his way out of that paperbag..)slide into the DM's and let me know if you are interested in being part of a polygamous marriage involving at least four husbands? @elfymamaPS. do you want to go fly a kite in the rain?

Humans: (shouting) "we love you!!".... The Moon: "why are you so obsessed with me??"slide into the DM's if you are also on-board with the idea of sending Nickelback into space ... if anything, just to see Ryan Peake dressed up in his sexy astronaut outfit..PS. Lycan Subscribe if you are a werewolf who feels personally victimised by the moon @elfymama