Share

cover art for Nonbinary Identities, Top Surgery, Coaching, and Joy With Dr. Erin Baker

Transgender School

Nonbinary Identities, Top Surgery, Coaching, and Joy With Dr. Erin Baker

Ep. 34

"Joy is not just an emotion; it's a deep alignment with the self. And those of us who are in the LGBTQ+ community know better than most communities about what it really feels like to wake up with joy at your core because who you are is aligned." - Dr. Erin Baker.


In today's episode, we are joined by the amazing Dr. Erin Baker, Executive Coach, Elite Certified Neurotransformational Coach, Internal Family Systems L2 Practitioner, and Self-Leadership Expert. Erin earned a PhD in Social Psychology and is the Bestselling Author of "Joy-Full AF: The Essential Business Strategy We're Afraid to Put First." They led a UX Research team at Facebook, were part of bringing Facebook Stories to 2 billion people, and were the Director of UX Research and Design at Microsoft Yammer. 


Throughout this episode, a true testament to the uniqueness of everyone's gender experience, Erin discusses the process of coming to terms with their nonbinary gender identity throughout adolescence and early adulthood. They also share some of the challenges they faced, especially at the beginning. And we learned a lot thanks to Erin's openness about their top surgery, which led to a greater feeling of alignment with their gender. It was also interesting to hear about Erin’s experiences as a nonbinary person working for tech giants. 


Additionally, Erin talks about their book, the multiple benefits of pursuing joy, Self-Leadership Coaching, Internal Family Systems, and much more. 


In This Episode, You Will Learn:

About Dr. Erin's coming out story (6:40)

Erin shares a bit about their experience with they/them pronouns and being misgendered (11:00)

The retreat in Mexico that changed everything for Erin (18:10)

Erin shares their thoughts on top surgery (24:00)

What is Self-Leadership? Erin shares their perspectives on it (39:00)

Pursue joy and success will follow (45:50)


Resources Mentioned:

Book: Dr. Erin Baker - Joy-Full AF: The Essential Business Strategy We're Afraid To Put First

Book: Richard Schwartz, Alanis Morissette - No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model


Connect with Dr. Erin:

Website

Instagram

LinkedIn


Connect with Jackie and Bridget:

Transgender Support: Becoming a True Ally Video Course on Vimeo

Transgender School Patreon Membership with all exclusive content

Transgender School on Medium

Instagram

Website

Facebook

More episodes

View all episodes

  • 37. 20+ U.S. States Ban Transgender Care

    23:58
    In today's episode, we update you on the concerning trend of states banning trans-affirming care for transgender youth and enacting laws and policies that discriminate against them.As if it weren't an already daunting experience being trans in America, these actions represent a massive blow for trans rights and, unfortunately, force thousands of people to either let go of their hormone treatment or flee their states. Throughout this episode, you'll hear our thoughts on the damage these administrative decisions will cause to the trans community, the housing problem in blue states, the myths about detransitioners, the division these kinds of decisions promote in our country, and much more. In This Episode, You Will Learn:How these new laws and policies affect the trans community (2:00)The terrible situation these new laws and policies put transgender people in (7:20)How we are in the process of dividing ourselves into two countries (11:40)Affirming care saves lives (16:00)Resources:Erin in the MorningConnect with Jackie and Bridget:Transgender Support: Becoming a True Ally Video Course on VimeoTransgender School Patreon Membership with all exclusive contentTransgender School on MediumInstagramWebsite FacebookCommunity Facebook GroupYouTube
  • 36. What to Do When Your Kid Comes Out as Transgender

    35:12
    Though right-wing talking heads try to manipulate suicide rate statistics, the data proves that the number one cause of self-harm and destructive behavior in the LGBTQ+ community is a lack of family acceptance. Kids who come out as transgender are not confused, are not in a phase, are not following a fad, and are not trying to rebel against their parents. From conversion efforts to more subtle forms of non-affirming communication, there is no question that the damage done can be significant and can often be avoided with a little education and effort. LGBTQ+ kids need and deserve our respect, support, and love. In this episode, we talk about what to do and say, as well as what not to do and say when your child (or any child) trusts you enough to come out as transgender, at any age. You'll hear about the critical importance of family and community acceptance, statistics that show how destructive the lack of support can be for transgender youth, and how some of the most well-intended questions can cause deep wounds for trans kids. We also discuss the mistakes Bridget made when Jackie came out and the challenges they faced. We learn ways to support transgender kids, support and respect their privacy, the ways to ensure affirming care for them, and much more. In This Episode, You Will Learn:About how Jackie's story began six and a half years ago (3:30)What statistics teach us about self-harm and destructive behaviors in the LGBTQ+ community (6:00)Why family acceptance is crucial (11:00)Being trans is definitely not a phase or a way of being rebellious (17:00)Jackie shares tips and ideas to grant affirming care for trans kids (24:00)What do our trans kids really need from us (28:00)Resources:Family Acceptance Project - San Francisco State UniversityWhat to Do When Your Kid Comes Out as Transgender by Bridget Sampson on MediumConnect with Jackie and Bridget:Transgender Support: Becoming a True Ally Video Course on VimeoTransgender School Patreon Membership with all exclusive contentTransgender School on MediumInstagramWebsite FacebookCommunity Facebook GroupYouTube
  • 35. Secret Lives and Tragic Consequences

    25:04
    Content warning: In this episode, we discuss suicide, online harassment, and death threats.Today we share two unsettling stories with the common themes of living secret lives and doing things that others would be shocked to discover.You'll hear about the tragic story of Alabama Pastor and Mayor, Fred 'Bubba' Copeland, who, forced to live his life in the closet, used private social media accounts to present himself as a transgender woman and encourage transgender people to come out and go on hormone replacement therapy. After his secret life was exposed by a conservative news website and he was subsequently subjected to relentless online bullying, he took his life. We discuss the complex issues involved in cases like this and the ways that pressure to suppress one’s identity can lead to dire outcomes.You'll also hear about a story published in the San Francisco Chronicle, in which a financially successful and apparently mentally stable man made several death threats to an operator from a Mental Health Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth in California. The name and address of this man, who lives in San Francisco, have been identified, but he will not likely face any consequences due to his power and wealth.In This Episode, You Will Learn:Pastor Fred 'Bubba' Copeland's tragic story (1:30)The effects of being forced to live a life in the closet (13:20)Online harassment shouldn't remain unpunished (16:00)People who spread hate online and showcase a "normal" life on a different platform (17:00)Resources Mentioned:Hotline for California's LGBTQ kids got a death threat.Connect with Jackie and Bridget:Transgender Support: Becoming a True Ally Video Course on VimeoTransgender School Patreon Membership with all exclusive contentTransgender School on MediumInstagramWebsite FacebookCommunity Facebook GroupYouTube
  • 33. Support for LGBTQ+ College Students with Whitney Workman, Manager of the CSUN Pride Center

    01:05:50
    College students should be able to focus on their education without having to spend time and energy battling for fundamental rights like being addressed by their correct pronouns or having their gender expression acknowledged. This is one of the many reasons that Pride Centers at universities are essential. In this episode, we were so happy to be joined by Whitney Workman (fae/they), Manager of the California State University, Northridge Pride Center. We talk about faer work with LGBTQ+ students, the holistic view of the Pride Center at CSUN, their thoughts on the best ways of spreading awareness of LGBTQ+ issues on college campuses and more.A trailblazer in faer teen years, as the second person in their high school to come out, Whitney immediately recognized the needs in the Queer community and hasn't stopped working to improve lives and create safe spaces for students in their early stages of transition or exploring their own sexuality and gender.Throughout this episode, you'll hear about Whitney's journey from being an organizer at feminist organizations and working with reproductive justice to making it to the CSUN Pride Center. Fae then provides a detailed list of the Center's services, how it supports LGBTQ+ college students, and how to learn about their services and programs. We also discuss the best ways of spreading LGBTQ+ awareness, free speech, hate speech, censorship, and much more.In This Episode, You Will Learn:A bit about Whitney and their background before becoming the manager of the CSUN Pride Center (2:20)What kind of support LGBTQ+ students will find at the Pride Center (18:30)Who should have access to students' legal names (23:30)Why the CSUN Pride Center is crucial for LGBTQ+ students (33:40)Whitney shares faer thoughts on the best ways of spreading awareness (42:40)Safety tips the Pride Center offers to LGBTQ+ students (54:40)Don't trust the Campus Pride Index, go to a college’s LGBTQ+ Center website to see what they offer (1:02:50)Connect with CSUN Pride Center:WebsiteConnect with Jackie and Bridget:Transgender Support: Becoming a True Ally Video Course on VimeoTransgender School Patreon Membership with all exclusive contentTransgender School on MediumInstagramWebsite FacebookCommunity Facebook GroupYouTube
  • 32. Authentic Selves: Celebrating Trans and Nonbinary People and Their Families, A Panel Discussion, Part 2 of 2

    46:03
    "When I told my lesbian love that I was transitioning, she sat with me for four hours, and I said, I don't know what this means for us. Because I didn't know any families who looked like us, any couples who were a trans man with a lesbian. I found out later that there's a lot of us."In today's episode, you’ll get to hear the second half of our very special conversation with Peggy Gillespie, author of "Authentic Selves," and with Lana, Ted, Joseph, Tamira, and Christian, who shared their stories in Peggy's book. In this second part of our conversation, you'll learn about Christian, a suburban trans man, who was always told that it’s not okay to be out. He now embraces infinite, unconditional love, which he uses to teach his kids not to be ashamed of who they are or who their family is. You'll also hear about Joseph, a trans man, and his wife Tamira and their experiences parenting a trans kid. Additionally, we talk about couples that stay together after one of them transitions, Peggy talks about the importance of sharing her book and promoting these discussions, and much more. In This Episode, You Will Learn:A bit about Christian's background and upbringing story (3:20)Christian's coming out story (9:20)The scary trans person the media warned you about (13:40)About couples that stay together after one of them transitions (18:10)How is it to be a Queer mom of a trans kid (25:40)How Peggy's book humanizes trans and nonbinary people (27:20)A bit about how Peggy's non-profit works (34:00)Resources:Book: Peggy Gillespie - Authentic Selves: Celebrating Trans and Nonbinary People and Their FamiliesFamily Diversity Projects: a non-profit organization with award-winning traveling photo-text exhibits, co-founded by Peggy Gillespie and Gigi KaeserConnect with Jackie and Bridget:Transgender Support: Becoming a True Ally Video Course on VimeoTransgender School Patreon Membership with all exclusive contentTransgender School on MediumInstagramWebsite FacebookCommunity Facebook GroupYouTube
  • 32. Authentic Selves: Celebrating Trans and Nonbinary People and Their Families, A Panel Discussion, Part 1 of 2

    39:08
    "I want other parents to know that it could be a life-or-death decision if you don't handle it right. Love your child. Carry the same love you had when they first came out of the womb, and you first saw them."In today's special episode, we’re joined by Peggy Gillespie, author of "Authentic Selves: Celebrating Trans and Nonbinary People and Their Families." Peggy's book, with a foreword by Jazz and Jeanette Jennings, depicts life stories and portraits of transgender and nonbinary people and their families. We get to know some of the stories in "Authentic Selves" first-hand since we are joined by Lana, Ted, Joseph and Tamira, and Christian, who are featured in the book and also in the award-winning traveling exhibits that Peggy organizes through Family Diversity Projects. In this first part of our two-part series panel discussion, you'll learn more about Peggy's background and motivation for developing her beautiful works of art, not only for the trans and nonbinary community but for society as a whole. You'll hear a little of Lana’s story and her struggles coming out as a transgender woman within her Caribbean-American culture, and you'll enjoy meeting Ted and hearing about his wonderful rainbow family.In This Episode, You Will Learn:About Peggy's background and how this extraordinary project was born (3:40)The importance of starting meaningful discussions with our children (9:50)A short introduction to the panel's guests and their stories (13:10)Lana shares her experiences coming out as a transgender woman (24:20)The moment Ted realized his assigned gender wasn't aligned with who he was (32:00)About a rainbow family with three dads (35:50)Resources:Book: Peggy Gillespie - Authentic Selves: Celebrating Trans and Nonbinary People and Their FamiliesFamily Diversity Projects: a non-profit organization with award-winning traveling photo-text exhibits, co-founded by Peggy Gillespie and Gigi KaeserConnect with Jackie and Bridget:Transgender Support: Becoming a True Ally Video Course on VimeoTransgender School Patreon Membership with all exclusive contentTransgender School on MediumInstagramWebsite FacebookCommunity Facebook GroupYouTube
  • 31. The Fight for Trans Rights & San Francisco's Hypocrisy

    27:57
    We’re sure you’re aware of the wave of anti-trans legislation being proposed and passed across the United States, but much of the information out there is confusing and misleading. In today’s episode, we want to clear things up for you and identify the truth about what’s happening and why by analyzing the political discourse on LGBTQ+ issues. We also debunk some myths about the idea of San Francisco being a Queer haven. The increasing number of states that have outright banned gender-affirming care for anyone under 18 is forcing trans youth to flee red states and small towns to big blue cities. Unfortunately, they do not always find the support, safety, and opportunities they seek and may end up entangled in addictions, mental illness, and homelessness. Jackie describes how she has seen this firsthand in her career in local government in San Francisco.It’s not only trans youth who are affected. Many adults in some states, such as Florida, have been suddenly and shockingly prevented from renewing their necessary transition-related medications, due to new discriminatory laws making it incredibly difficult or even impossible. We discuss the effects of anti-trans legislation on the trans community, especially on trans youth, how we can all fight back, San Francisco's affordable housing issues, protests at schools that are teaching LGBTQ+ inclusion, and much more. In This Episode, You Will Learn:The orange man and the political use of the transgender community (2:30)Making necessary HRT nearly impossible to obtain (5:40)Addressing the right-wing talking head Matt Walsh (9:50)Jackie's soapbox on the SF Board of Supervisors’ housing policies (13:00)The impacts of not having affordable housing (18:30)Connect with Jackie and Bridget:Transgender Support: Becoming a True Ally Video Course on VimeoTransgender School Patreon Membership with all exclusive contentTransgender School on MediumInstagramWebsite FacebookCommunity Facebook GroupYouTube
  • 30. Meet LGBTQ+ Inclusion Author and Speaker, Dr. Kryss Shane

    49:30
    "I believe that when something bothers you, either do something about it or get over it. And I couldn't manage to get myself over it. So that only left me one choice." - Dr. Kryss Shane on why she became an LGBTQ+ ally and advocate.In today's episode, we are joined by LGBTQ+ expert and cast member of TLC's "I Am Jazz," Dr. Kryss Shane. Dr. Kryss is an Educator and Consultant and the Author of "Creating an LGBT+ Inclusive Workplace," "The Educator's Guide to LGBT+ Inclusion," "Creating an LGBT+ Inclusive University," and "The Medical Professional's Guide to LGBT+ Inclusion." Throughout our conversation, Dr. Kryss talks about becoming an LGBTQ+ leading expert, the exhausting yet gratifying job of writing four books in four years, what people are saying about her recommendations for inclusion, and what it has been like to have her books banned. She shared some behind-the-scenes moments from "I Am Jazz" that showcase Jazz and her family's admirable human qualities.In addition, Dr. Kryss talks about her relationship with the Jennings family before the show aired, provides helpful advice for parents of LGBTQ+ kids, explains how she deals with online hate, and so much more. In This Episode, You Will Learn:About Dr. Kryss' journey as an LGBTQ+ advocate and leading expert (3:30)Dr. Kryss talks about the positive feedback she gets about her books (10:20)What it feels like to have a book banned (12:10)How it was for Dr. Kryss to make her first appearance on "I Am Jazz" in season 7 (19:00)Dr. Kryss shares some juicy behind-the-scenes from the show (26:30)How to support LGBTQ+ kids the right way (38:20)Connect with Dr. Kryss:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramTwitterDr. Kryss Shane's booksConnect with Jackie and Bridget:Transgender Support: Becoming a True Ally Video Course on VimeoTransgender School Patreon Membership with all exclusive contentTransgender School on MediumInstagramWebsite FacebookCommunity Facebook GroupYouTube