The Upshot

It’s the true crime tale that shook French football.Two midfield rivals. A vicious twilight assault. And a bitter feud that sucked in everyone from Eric Abidal to Kylian Mbappe.This is the story of the Hamraoui affair…

Plus: David James shatters an 11 year old’s dreams, Kevin Pietersen is barred from an exclusive golf club, and the bent ref exposed by his pet parrot.Join Zach and Jack for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:Roma fan who lost his memory and thinks it’s 1980: https://www.ilromanista.eu/news/as-roma/155113/tifoso-romanista-perde-39-anni-di-memoria-dopo-un-incidente-totti-non-so-chi-siaKevin Philips story about Howard Wilkinson and stinging nettles: https://youtu.be/jAOFh9j2wFo?si=fd_oomgHz9X1jLMe&t=1865Brendan Rodgers and the envelopes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skUVgyZCuowMichael Owen vs 13 year old: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1636375638142750722David James saving an 11 year old’s pen: https://x.com/SwearingSport/status/1848111736651436304Parrot whistling the Real Madrid anthem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Win2UK_iXMQDutch police arrest parrot: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/15o5wm9/found_this_cute_for_some_reason/Jimmy Bullard teeing off a beer at Sunningdale: https://www.upshot.email/p/boobsmacked?utm_source=www.upshot.email&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=boobsmacked&_bhlid=6c4dfd180030d9ff4187e880e01e8407d45aa5e9

Plus: Fergie’s banned from the United dressing room, Man City’s biggest shaggers revealed and Kyle Walker’s naughty neighbour.Join Zach and Jack for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:John Stones tattoo of girlfriend’s face: https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/NINTCHDBPICT000380383444.jpg?strip=all&w=827Italian ultras’ surface-to-air missile: https://i2-prod.footballscotland.co.uk/incoming/article16592316.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200c/0_pizap-2.jpgFabio Paim promo shot: https://img.allfootballapp.com/www/M00/54/DF/720x-/-/-/CgAGVWbzzkuAIROWAAFSvoNXJRM202.jpg.webp

He was football’s most terrifying hardman.The Everton legend hospitalised burglars, terrorised German exchange students and was the first footballer jailed for an on-field offence.From fights with fishermen to sex dolls in the slammer, this is the story of Duncan Disorderly…Links from the pod:Headbutting Jock McStay: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1625842278618087425 Message to schoolboy who’s been slacking off: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1625842434830737409

Plus: Bielsa makes Darwin Nunez cry, Conor McGregor banned from the Emirates, and John Arne Riise’s chat-up lines.Join Zach and Jack for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:We’re hiring a staff writer: https://www.upshot.email/p/we-re-hiring-a-staff-writerJeff Stelling on Total Network Solutions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdfTvrZJvOs Shoyu Nakajima sent off: https://x.com/_BeFootball/status/1571613596739686405 Conor McGregor attacking Bukayo Saka: https://x.com/StokeyyG2/status/1841617894901231662Conor McGregor chewing Ronaldo’s ear off: https://x.com/SwearingSport/status/1738671554177749337Steve Ballmer Windows 95 launch: https://ww.youtube.com/watch?v=lAkuJXGldrM

Sure, Jamie Carragher gobs on children and had a Christmas sex party with Ronald McDonald.But we all lose our heads sometimes... don't we?From hotel room "hand shandies" to Yokohama police chases, this is the story of the Red who lost his head…Links from the pod:Steven Gerrard goal v Olympiakos: https://x.com/AnythingLFC_/status/1072561378542653440 Jamie calls into TalkSport: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnOOOfyctGw“There” catchphrase: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1758147069812850842 Spitting on 14-year-old girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAo6SNt4lLg Apology on Sky Sports: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GEBm3YdKuo Suggesting Kate Abdo cheated on her boyfriend on CBS: https://x.com/The_Forty_Four/status/1767796941742596472 

Plus: Brooklyn Beckham’s latest brainwave, Glen Johnson shoplifting from B&Q, and a Man City midfielder arrested in Madrid.Join Zach and George for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:Aston Villa choir: https://x.com/MitchellinMan98/status/1841079920811737265 Cardi B at PSG: https://www.instagram.com/the18soccer/reel/DAj-4bdyZzU/ Bournemouth v Southampton train cancelled: https://x.com/OptusSport/status/1840919811531874312 And fan chant: https://x.com/AFCBdave/status/1840884074035999052 John Terry playing piano: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAbDILEsROP/?igsh=MXJ0bmJlMzUzYTNnbw%3D%3D 10 thing Brooklyn Beckham can’t live without: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_E1f2HGylk

The Champions League is back, and the competition is packed with absolute wrong’uns.Slum landlords. Warmongering paramilitaries. And a man accused of snatching Maddie McCann.Pull up a padded corporate seat and pour yourself a glass of Gazprom, as we dine at the top table of European scandal…Links from the pod:Diego Simeone playing chess with no king: https://images.app.goo.gl/tXX7UaY1nimyHmgV7 Sparta Prague stealing West Ham flag from Durham Uni students: https://x.com/ffwtbol/status/1666763342688526338 Kolasinac fighting knife wielding muggers: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2901924446487152 Dino Drpic’s Maddie McCann lookalike baby: https://www.standard.co.uk/hp/front/couple-try-to-rescue-maddy-lookalike-6896215.html