The Upshot

Plus: Bielsa makes Darwin Nunez cry, Conor McGregor banned from the Emirates, and John Arne Riise’s chat-up lines.Join Zach and Jack for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:We’re hiring a staff writer: https://www.upshot.email/p/we-re-hiring-a-staff-writerJeff Stelling on Total Network Solutions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdfTvrZJvOs Shoyu Nakajima sent off: https://x.com/_BeFootball/status/1571613596739686405 Conor McGregor attacking Bukayo Saka: https://x.com/StokeyyG2/status/1841617894901231662Conor McGregor chewing Ronaldo’s ear off: https://x.com/SwearingSport/status/1738671554177749337Steve Ballmer Windows 95 launch: https://ww.youtube.com/watch?v=lAkuJXGldrM

Sure, Jamie Carragher gobs on children and had a Christmas sex party with Ronald McDonald.But we all lose our heads sometimes... don't we?From hotel room "hand shandies" to Yokohama police chases, this is the story of the Red who lost his head…Links from the pod:Steven Gerrard goal v Olympiakos: https://x.com/AnythingLFC_/status/1072561378542653440 Jamie calls into TalkSport: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnOOOfyctGw“There” catchphrase: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1758147069812850842 Spitting on 14-year-old girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAo6SNt4lLg Apology on Sky Sports: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GEBm3YdKuo Suggesting Kate Abdo cheated on her boyfriend on CBS: https://x.com/The_Forty_Four/status/1767796941742596472 

Plus: Brooklyn Beckham’s latest brainwave, Glen Johnson shoplifting from B&Q, and a Man City midfielder arrested in Madrid.Join Zach and George for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:Aston Villa choir: https://x.com/MitchellinMan98/status/1841079920811737265 Cardi B at PSG: https://www.instagram.com/the18soccer/reel/DAj-4bdyZzU/ Bournemouth v Southampton train cancelled: https://x.com/OptusSport/status/1840919811531874312 And fan chant: https://x.com/AFCBdave/status/1840884074035999052 John Terry playing piano: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAbDILEsROP/?igsh=MXJ0bmJlMzUzYTNnbw%3D%3D 10 thing Brooklyn Beckham can’t live without: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_E1f2HGylk

The Champions League is back, and the competition is packed with absolute wrong’uns.Slum landlords. Warmongering paramilitaries. And a man accused of snatching Maddie McCann.Pull up a padded corporate seat and pour yourself a glass of Gazprom, as we dine at the top table of European scandal…Links from the pod:Diego Simeone playing chess with no king: https://images.app.goo.gl/tXX7UaY1nimyHmgV7 Sparta Prague stealing West Ham flag from Durham Uni students: https://x.com/ffwtbol/status/1666763342688526338 Kolasinac fighting knife wielding muggers: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2901924446487152 Dino Drpic’s Maddie McCann lookalike baby: https://www.standard.co.uk/hp/front/couple-try-to-rescue-maddy-lookalike-6896215.html 

Plus: Jim Ratcliffe turns the axe on the boffins, Daniel Dubois’ terrifying dad, and the FA Cup winner smuggling two tonnes of cocaine.Join Zach and George for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:AFC Wimbledon flooded stadium: https://x.com/eurofootcom/status/1838561522001281374 The darts shart: https://x.com/SwearingSport/status/1838628472589029871Marshawn Lynch interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g2ZAhopQU8 

Sven-Göran Eriksson.The name alone transports you to an era of WAGs, fake sheikhs, and a national fixation with Wayne Rooney's metatarsal.And today we’re celebrating the man himself.From a fling with Ulrika to being held at gunpoint in North Korea, this is the story of England’s unlikely national treasure… Links from the pod:Boy with Sven haircut: https://i2-prod.dailystar.co.uk/incoming/article24304609.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_js236978138.jpgSven Sven Sven song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q33sNrncVmIBlank cheque he gave to Ulrika: https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/7a44a4b7-2e41-4ad3-bd64-e42c83ce33f9.jpg?strip=all&w=640

Plus: Eamonn Holmes sleeps on Fergie’s sofa, Katie Price scraps with beloved broadcasters, and the meth dealer doing pilates with Reece James…Join Jack and Zach for another edition of Extra Shot, our weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Links from the pod:Tom Brady greeted by Wrexham fans: https://x.com/MenInBlazers/status/1835755990878175372Unc’s Instagram Live bonk: https://x.com/AhmadAl18429902/status/1833925309009474003Eamonn Holmes and Fergie painting: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FiUpjSlXwAIWT8c.jpg

They call him the greatest footballer who never played: Carlos Henrique Raposo, aka Kaiser.The Brazilian had a glittering career in the 1980s... without ever kicking a ball.From orgies with Berlusconi to gun-wielding gangsters, meet football's finest conman…Links from the pod:Kaiser’s wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Kaiser_(footballer)Watch the excellent documentary on Amazon Prime: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Kaiser-Bernado-Paula/dp/B07J1Z1VXCPhoto with Renato Gaucho: https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/35043d050bed1fd82c78a1332217047d39c12256/0_659_5905_3543/master/5905.jpg?width=465&dpr=1&s=noneWorking as a personal trainer for women: https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/uQoaC3Qz7P_jg54MUnPV2Q--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTQyNQ--/https://media.zenfs.com/en-CA/homerun/article.442.com/ee8ce4c31ed81eccf53b4319a4062a0c