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Justin Connor: The Lungs Hold Grief and Why Workaholism Is Both Saving Grace and Achilles Heel for Filmmakers
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Justin Connor, filmmaker and musician behind The Golden Age, shares how his saxophonist father and jazz-loving parents never encouraged music yet inadvertently programmed workaholism into his DNA—a double-edged sword that became both his greatest asset for wearing multiple hats on independent films and his potential downfall requiring hard drive reformatting of his life. Connor reveals how cigarette addiction reflected grief stored in the lungs, how psychedelics and ayahuasca offered exploration without true addiction, and why workaholism proved more dangerous than any substance by fueling perfectionism, obsessive careerism, and control. Drawing from his upbringing witnessing family dynamics, he explains how directing became about trusting himself as an adult after childhood wounds, why he interned for Eric Holder before a double feature of Shawshank Redemption and Pulp Fiction redirected him to Hollywood, and how creating The Golden Age with superhuman strength felt like lancing a boil that needed purging—a film he could never remake even with 10 million dollars.
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