One Torn Every Minute

National treasure Jane Garvey describes the unique euphoria of delivery, followed by an unwelcome bout of Christmas Day constipation that saw her father driving round London looking for laxatives. What a lovely box to look out for under the tree…

Comedian, writer, podcaster and all-round marvel Catie Wilkins tells us about her genetic tendency towards a quick birth. But don’t go hatey on her, because speedy deliveries are no fun. Particularly when you’re in a cleaning cupboard, have missed your epidural window and it’s a full moon…

The marvellous author and journalist Marianne Levy pops in to describe the world’s longest labour, how putting ‘no forceps’ in her birth plan didn’t necessarily work out, and why her husband was traumatised by a plate of chicken. 

We’re joined by the fabulous comedian Sara Barron, who has a few things to say about morning sickness with a vomiting phobia, being in labour at a hotel during a party, and the things a health visitor shouldn’t say when examining one’s infected vagina…

The super-impressive Sophie Ellis-Bextor, mistress of multiple caesareans, tells us about learning a martial art during pregnancy, knocking up a quick pie pre-surgery, and getting back in the popstar saddle just weeks after giving birth. 

Actress and comedian Isy Suttie discusses her urge to talk about discharge, turning her placenta into nourishing tablets, and the benefits of doing your tax return in the early stages of labour. 

Writer and broadcaster Julia Raeside discusses the glory of the heroin hit, the splendour of the spinal block, flirting with silver fox anaesthetists and giving birth during a bird flu scare.

Writer/performer Isabel Fay tells us why waiting for a caesarean is not like getting a ticket at a cheese counter, how pub quizzes can effectively distract you from major abdominal surgery, and why being sick upside down isn’t advisable.