Nose Candy

They say opinions are like A$$holes: everyone has one. Well you're in luck frag hags because this very special Nose Candy Hotline episode has THREE! That's right, this week Maddie and Chloe are joined by artist, writer, sage advisor, and host of the hilarious podcast Dial Dan, Dan Allegretto! These three armchair experts are rolling up their sleeves, spraying down their wrists, and fastening on their thinking caps to answer your burning fragrance questions. That means everything from office scents to potato perfumes and mall goth musks to discontinuation discontent. Do you want to smell like fomo? What about blind buy regret? A locker room lookie-loo? Clock in, hunker down, and listen up because this episode is peppered with opinions that you should NOT take with a grain of salt!Want even more from genius NYC bestie Dan Allegretto? RUN to patreon.com/dial_dan, follow him on insta @dan_allegretto and twitter @dan_allegretto!Fragrances Discussed:Clue With The CandlestickTauer Lonestar MemoriesBurning Barbershop by DS & DurgaDrakkar Noir by Guy LeRocheCoven by Andrea MaackAbercombie FierceComme Des Garcons Man 2Creed Silver Mountain WaterEncre Noire à L'Extreme by LaliqueEncre Noir by LaliqueKerosene Black VinesGuerlain InsolenceComme des Garcons by Comme des GarconsVan Py Rhum by Lorenzo PazzagliaNaked Dance by OddityElizabeth Arden Sunflowers

Curious about what happens when two frag hags stop being polite and start getting real? This is The Real World, Nose Candy edition, which means your fake ass hosts are finally cutting the crap and smelling it like it is. The gals are sharing their favorite Real perfumes which means everything from a sex work scent, a Midsommar musk, and Palm Springs potpouri. Whether you're in the pocket of big Little Gem, swinging on a shag carpet, or just sipping on olive juice, this is one fresh, frank, and fragrant ep you won't want to miss.Fragrances Discussed:Angel by MuglerDonna Sentenza by Hilde SolianiCoven by Andrea MaackBruno Acampora Young HeartsMoral Map by ClueWarm Bulb by ClueWith The Candlestick by ClueYou Or Someone Like You by Etat Libre D'OrangeAlguien II by AlguienMossy Glen by Villa Erbatium

Want to know the frags Maddie and Chloe spray when they're feeling fraudulent? This week the fakest b!ches you know met up to talk about fragrance phonies, which means a banquette bouquet, a compote cologne and honey-ed horse chestnut. Whether you enjoy pudding with fall leaves, black pepper shortbread, or simply hair in your food, this is one bull$hit, bunk, and bogus ep you won't want to miss!Fragrances Discussed:Tonka Cola by ManceraPanettone by Milano FragranzeHilde Soliani Sale e PepeHilde Soliani Hot MilkSanta Maria Novella Tabacco ToscanoMiller Harris SoufflotMiller Harris Feuilles de TabacBaruti ChaiCafe V by Olympic OrchidsSM Cafe by Strangers ParfumerieCachouli by Strangers ParfumerieWarm Bulb by Clue

This week the ladies are shining their scepters and filling their chalices just in time for an enchanted, ember-cloaked episode. Follow these bards along the wandering bridge to the Empire of Perfumoria and unlock the key to their Dark Twisted Perfume Fantasy. That means everything from a Bert and Ernie scent to a public library perfume and a mythic Mad Men fragrance. Whether you're a Dragon Rider, a Fae, a Wizard, or a necromancer, this is one elven and ethereal episode you won't want to miss!Fragrances Discussed:Warm Bulb by ClueLes Cahiers Secrets by JouissanceDrakkar Noir by Guy LarocheRelique d'Amour by Oriza L. LegrandByredo BibliothèqueM/Mink by ByredoAnimalique by ByredoAromatics Elixir by CliniqueIle Mythique by ChabaudLait et Chocolat by ChabaudLait Concentre by Chabaud

This week your ladies are Nude as the News just in a time for a buckwild episode all about naked perfumes! That means the ladies are disinfecting with a Fabuloso frag, scrubbing down with a St. Ives scent, and embracing the malodorous with Un Musc. All that plus a list of potential perfumer pod guests, Chloe's choreography playbook, and Maddie's brand new perfume collection setup.Want to see these two bare it all ON VIDEO? Subscribe at patreon.com/nosecandy for Patreon-exclusive Nose Candy video episodes. You know you wanna see the gals live and in color!Fragrances Discussed:Molecule 01 by Escentric MoleculesPink Sugar by AquolinaBaccarat Rouge 540Andrea Maack PavilionComme Des Garcons MarseilleDelina by Parfums de MarlyEssential Faith PerfumeUn Musc by Obvious ParfumsUne Vanille by Obvious ParfumsUne Figue by Obvious Parfums Debaser by DS and DurgaFighissimo by Hilde SolianiPhilosykos by DiptyqueAlluring Fig by Theodoros Kalotinis

What do Anne Hathaway, Padma Lakshmi, and Tom Cruise all have in common? They’re all card carrying members of the brunette union. For this tall dark and handsome ep Maddie and Chloe met up to discuss their favorite scents for brunettes, which meant architecture accords, benzoin bouquets, and a very special Passover perfume. Whether your hair is chestnut, chocolate, carmel or mahogany, this is a warm, rich, and tawny episode you won’t want to miss!Fragrances Discussed:Olene by DiptyqueChild by Susan D. Owens Green Spell by Eris Coven by Andrea MaackLiis Rose StruckRien by Etat Libre D’OrangeAmbre Sultan by Serge LutensAqua de Parma ColoniaFleur d’Oranger by Serge Lutens Encense Suave by Matiere PremiereMa Nishtana by Prissana

This week your resident aesthetes met up to talk about perfumes that just smell... pretty. That means everything from French candy frags, to pound cake perfumes to a lobster bisque bouquet-- but this episode is more than just a pretty face! The search for the ultimate pretty girl perfume means tackling tough questions, such as: where can a girl get a pair of McQueen Armadillo boots? is Chloe's dream of quivering oysters a subconscious lesbian awakening? Why is Letterboxd called that? Whether you're a Pretty Mess, too pretty to work, or pretty much over reading this, pretty pretty please will you listen to this ep?Fragrances Discussed:Tihota by IndultCasamorati LiraDelta of Venus by ErisSweet Parmesan Violet by Hilde Soliani

This week the ladies met up for a very timely episode in honor of the reason all student films look like that: the late great David Lynch. Inspired by their favorite artist's unique brand of terrifying cheeriness, the gals are talking about the surreal perfumes in their collections that are a bit.. askew. That means glass-scented sunshine, wood mill musk, tour bus toilet, and tampax top notes. From the scent of a Hollywood bungalow to meditation musk to a Laura Palmer perfume, these are the frags your gals are huffing like Dennis Hopper in memoriam of the best to ever do it. RIP!Fragrances Discussed:Crystal Saffron by Matiere Premiere Uncut Gems by Frederic Malle Radical Rose by Matiere Premiere  Celine Black TieAnother 13 by Le LaboFantomas by NasomattoErba Pura by XerjoffSecretions Magnifiques By Etat Libre D'OrangeBois de Balincourt by Maison Louis MarieArsalan by PrinInexcusable Evil by ToskovatJungle Jezebel by Sarah Baker