Giles Coren Has No Idea

Does a 10k goosestep count as a workout? How many Sieg Heils build the perfect bicep? When faced with a Neo Nazi fitness class what can one do except laugh...?As half term approaches everyone in the world is going skiing, everyone except the Corens. Giles and Esther reiterate their disdain for ski holidays. Instead, they’ll be having a 1970’s style break; they’ll work while the kids stay at home and watch the latest season of White Lotus. The new Michelin guide is out but are the numerous new restaurants up to scratch? Perhaps more interesting is the challenge of a vegan restaurant making it onto the list.Lastly, why are people over fifty happier post pandemic…could it be because death is a little closer?Now, which way is Poland?

This week Giles revealed that he had been diagnosed with cancer. In this week’s episode he relives the moment he found out and the responses of those around him, and his own. Is it a big deal “it’s only a dash of cancer after all?” Or are he and Esther in denial? They consider the language around cancer and wonder why Bob hasn’t been in touch…?For some light-hearted distraction a one hundred and thirty four page document on how to speak to passengers, ye gods! How to enunciate HampSTEAD and ringing endorsements - “Buy this book it was written by a human.”  

Giles has modified his coffee intake and is ready to tackle the pressing issues of the week.First up, say it loud say it proud – Jew! Easier said than done for some…but why is that? Could “People of Nose” be a better option?The touchy-feely millennial generation may actually be the hardest of the lot; they’re embracing the potential return of the death penalty.After being overheard making sexual comments Wynn Evans left the strictly live tour to “priorities my wellbeing.” Esther has little sympathy, but Giles wonders about the BBC’s casting policy – “We’d like a blokey bloke please…oh god not one like that!”Finally, what is the secret to a good face lift? Don’t have one is Esther’s tip but is it too late for Gwyneth Paltrow and other multi-millionaires..?   

Lots of laughs in this week’s episode. As Harrow school adopts a therapy puppy, will there be a similar puppy on a bursary…? Either way don’t expect the canines to bring much happiness.The good literary agency is closing. Were they victims of the culture war or the marketplace? Giles thinks he knows the answer.A conversation about clever footballers brings up stereotypes but gone are the days when it is acceptable to mock the working classes, Brian. Giles has a brilliant business idea; three products, one audience and a lot of exclamation marks!

After a busy but very enjoyable Christmas Giles and Esther return to ponder some of the talking points of the week.What is a work life balance and how does one get one? How do you wire a plug – why not ask one of Giles many deceased relatives. Is post war rationing the root cause of child obesity? Finally, how to play Fagin without bowing to stereotype and… stop climbing Everest!  

As described in the title - a fun festive quiz.We hope you enjoy it. If you do, please share.Merry Christmas, see you in the New Year.