Giles Coren Has No Idea

Recent research suggests that most men don't understand what the menopause is. But Giles is not most men, he has a thorough grasp of the topic...or so he thinks until Esther sets him straight. What is it, how will it affect Esther, and can he do anything to help? All good questions, but sadly lost as he is distracted by an image of a very specific type of queue outside the GP’s surgery.Giles and Esther have received lots of kind advice and tips on finding their missing neckless, for which they are very grateful. Is there an update, has it been found?As the menopause approaches so too does the day the children leave home. Is the best way to prepare to abandon ambition, give up on sex and don’t travel.Finally, Is there anything better than apple pie and pudding sauce? 

It has been a pretty bad week for Giles. His article on Zionism generated a mixed reaction, gaining support from some but rebuke from others. Does hearing Esther’s take on the matter cause him to rethink? A more domestic problem is Esther’s birthday, or rather her present. For once Giles was well prepared, he’d chosen the perfect gift well ahead of time. He knows where he left it, where it should be, but where is it now?In the news a men only publishing house has opened, is it needed and if so, why? It prompts Esther to reveal some big news. Finally, Giles is considering taking up DIO… ‘do it oneself.’

In a recent interview George Clooney said he and his wife Amal never argue. The Clooneys may not, but the Corens most certainly do! And, as if my magic they demonstrate how to have a good argument…three times…in half an hour!Everything is going well until Giles attempts some in pod production, then there is an unexpected phone call, followed by more production disagreements. It all proves too much and whilst discussing arguments they manage to have a “sh*t stinker” of one. So, this week for illustrative purposes, it stays in the podcast. Thankfully there is a happy ending… 

A piece of ground breaking research suggests women are tending to marry men less educated than themselves. Twas ever thus… Esther and Giles are on trend, they have a ‘marriage of unequals’ with Esther technically more educated than Giles.A new AI concept offers the chance to talk with fictional characters in books. Might Giles one day be able to chat with Hamlet…the app may prefer he stick to Lucy the turtle for now. Does Badger from Wind in the Willows have a dark secret?In recent weeks Jeff Bezos and David Beckham have each thrown very glamourous parties. But are such parties any good? Do the people attending actually have any fun?Finally, American singer Chappel Roan has lifted the lid on parents – they aren’t very happy. Of course not, they have children!Oh, and President Trump’s ‘liberation day’ tariffs are bound to fail, just don’t ask Esther why.

Esther can’t bring herself to watch the much vaunted Netflix show ‘Adolescence’. Giles watched it and was deeply moved by it. They discuss just how hard parenting is and the complicated relationship between young people, their phones and social media. With a child able to have the world in the palm of their hand, what role does a parent have?Last week was a tribute to Group Captain Hemingway, this week the next generation of heroes have fallen foul of a judge over a stolen Paddington Bear statue, Giles pleads their case.Finally, I wish it could be Christmas everyday…because nothing bad happens then and it would work wonders for church numbers.  

How well do Giles and Esther know each other? Cue a game of Mr and Mrs. What A levels did they take, what were their childhood pets called…or let’s start simple: “What is your wife’s name?” It isn’t Farah Fawcett.Continuing the game theme Giles plays “what’s in the inflation basket this year? If tinned fish isn’t in there, it should be. If Esther can answer correctly, will she win a speed boat?Jeremy Clarkson is back with a Grand Tour spin off…except actually he isn’t, he only appears in archive footage. Is it about time to put the whole thing out of its misery… Finally, a respectful salute to Group Captain John ‘Paddy’ Hemingway, who died this week. He was the last known Battle of Britain pilot. Talk of him and his life stirs up emotional memories for both Giles and Esther leading to a teary end to the show.

What better way to spend pancake day than curling up to watch “With Love, Meghan”But what was it exactly, comedy, horror, a sad documentary? Despite wanting to like it Esther just couldn’t. Dinner and candles for imaginary guests, cooking in a cashmere jumper, dragon handlers and all in someone else’s house. Was it a case of advice not given or advice not taken?Another day, another step closer to Armageddon as President Trump continues his unique brand of negotiation - worryingly for Giles it is a tactic he uses himself.Debrett’s is yet to release a guide to ‘how to host President Trump’ but they do offer the very latest in how to eat Al Desko… 

Parenting, President Trump and UK net zero - is it time for a reality check? Have the middle classes ruined parenting in the UK? Uber head Katharine Birbalsingh has spoken out on parenting methods, and it’s given Giles an idea for a book – “Parenting tips for the working class.” Do the travails of modern parenting have anything in common with the redrawing of post war alliances and UK net zero targets? Could it be that across the board things are a little too comfortable and it is time for shake up? Esther turns to the history books for the answer and espouses the benefits of upheaval and existential threat…purely from an objective standpoint. Anything is better than talking about toilets!