Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

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Why Narcissists Exploit And Laugh At Your Vulnerabilities Guest: KIM SAEED

Ep. 102

Hijackals, narcissists, and other toxic difficult people are mean.


In tender moments, they make you feel safe to tell them your innermost secrets, insecurities, and vulnerabilities. Then, they turn those into weapons! They laugh at you, make jokes about your insecurities in front of others, and exploit your vulnerabilities to their advantage. Sound familiar?


Hijackals want to have the upper hand at all times. Maybe, you share something that embarrassed you, or share something that scares you, or share something you are afraid of. It feels like a tender moment, and you SO want it to be the intimacy that you long for. You want that emotional closeness. It's what you've been waiting for.


Imagine how they rub their hands with glee when you share something with them that puts you in a vulnerable light, or a bad light! They weaponize your insecurities and expose you, blame you, or shame you. They particularly like to do it in public when they hope you'll let it pass without speaking up.


WHY? What's up with these people?


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • Learn three kinds of empathy that can help with understanding the Hijackal behavior
  • How Hijackals learn what to do to get what they want from you
  • Why Hijackals are scornful of your vulnerabilities--even though they encourage you to share them
  • What the biggest misconceptions about Hijackals--including those narcissists--is
  • Why narcissists seem to hate you but won't let you go easily


GUEST: Kim Saeed


Kim Saeed is an internationally respected self-help author and educator specializing in recovery and rebuilding after toxic relationships. She is the founder of Let Me Reach, a life transformation site that teaches people to flourish after narcissistic abuse. She is the author of the Kind bestseller, How To Go No Contact Like A Boss.


In How To Go No Contact Like A Boss, Kim Saeed wrote,


"During the detox from a toxic relationship, it's very common for those in recovery to ruminate obsessively over their ex and the events that led to the disintegration of the relationship. This results from addiction to the reward-and-punishment peptides that the victim's brain formed during the course of the relationship. Obsessive thinking is often the result of your subconscious mind's attempt to re-abuse you in the absence of your toxic partner. simply in order to get those peptides flowing again."


Kim Saeed has a gift for you. The Beginner's Healing Toolkit

Find it HERE.


Learn more at LetMeReach.com

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.


Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

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Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: ForRelationshipHelp 


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I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.

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#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

More Episodes

7/20/2021

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Ep. 215
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Ep. 214
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Ep. 213
Fawning can be thought of as a step further than people-pleasing. SO, you really need to know about it. Until you become conscious of it, you may be doing it. To get your life back, and to be emerging empowered, you want to recognize it, take charge of it, and garner new insights and skills.When you have suffered from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder--which many people who have been abused in many ways do, you may recognize that you actually respond to conflict with The Fawning Response. This term was created by therapist and abuse survivor Pete Walker in his book "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. It's a coping mechanisem, a poor one, used in an attempt to create safety in our relationships with others to garner their approval and meet their expectations. As I said, it's not a good one. It's unhealthy and damaging to yourself. Hence, self-abandonment! You give and give and give in toxic relationships and it's never enough, right? Hijackals always want more. Even if they tell you exactly what they want from you, when you give that exact thing to them, they want something different. Overtime, over-giving becomes a habit, and so does fawning. It's exhausting. One thing people who have experienced trauma don't want? More trauma. The fawning response is an attempt to prevent more trauma. IT DOESN'T WORK, but you're ever hopeful it will keep you out of the spotlight and out of hot water. Listen in and recognize The Fawning Response in action. If it sounds familiar, take it to heart and choose to make a change. You may think it's keeping you safe, but it actually is not. You're losing yourself, and that's not a good thing at all! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What The Fawning Response isHow it shows upWhy it shows up and becomes a habitSeven ways you abandon yourself when you choose the fawning responseWhy its important to see the fawning response and give it up If you recognize that the Fawning Response is something you want to address, I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered CommunityOnly $19 a month.----------------------------------------------------------------------#FAWNINGRESPONSE #fightflightfreezefawn #madepeoplefeelcomfortable #putyourselflast #otherpeoplemoreimportant #makingmyselfinvisible #pleasingothers #fawningtraumaresponse #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest