Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

1/18/2022

3 Phases of Healing From Emotional Abuse

Ep. 240
You can begin healing even while you're in an emotionally abusive situation, small steps and nano-seconds of healing. Understanding my phases of healing from emotional abuse encourages you to begin and continue the healing journey. Wherever you are--even if you have not started the journey yet, seeing there is a pathway can help.If you want to be emerging empowered from a past or present in which you experienced emotional abuse, you need this episode. Understanding the blueprint and anticipating the process is wise, and will make you much less susceptible to going back to a Hijackal of any stripe....even a Hijackal parent! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Healing begins with realizing that and how you have been woundedThe three phases of the healing from emotional abuse processWhy it takes longer to heal than you want it toClearly see the patterns and ready for a change?I'm here to help.Let's talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#healingafterabuse #stepstohealingafterabuse #healingafteremotionalabuse #howdoIhealfromemotionalabuse#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse
1/11/2022

10 Nasty Ways Hijackals Are Predictably Unpredictable

Ep. 239
Too many times, you hope a Hijackal will be different. They may even promise to be, or seem to understand the need to change. But, it's just for a hot minute, right? These ten ways Hijackals generally behave are ones you need to believe will never change...no matter what is promised. Really!Hijackals and other narcissistic people are focused on meeting their own needs. Self-absorbed. Self-involved. Self-satisfyining. That's them. And, they want to control you and everything else they possibly can, especially in the home. Clearly see these patterns in them so that you'll recognize how frequently they occur. . HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Recognize how frequently these ten predictable behaviors show upDon't expect Hijackals to change. They almost never do.Narcissists & other Hijackals repeat these patterns to control you.Clearly see the patterns and ready for a change? I'm here to help.Let's talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcissistslie #traitsofnarcissists #traitsofhijackals #whatnarcissistsdo #whathijackalsdo#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse
1/4/2022

12 Ways Fawning Keeps You Stuck in Emotional Abuse

Ep. 238
The Fawning Response creates a constant imbalance in a relationship. Hijackals love that! You're helping them control you, and you sure don't want to do that for a moment longer, right? Fawning happens when you attempt to avoid conflict and trauma by appeasing people and demonstrating or feigning interest to earn the approval of others. Sadly, it also causes you to deny your rights, interests, thoughts, feelings and to abandon what's healthy in adult relationships: equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. You may avoid conflict in the moment but you're also giving up too much. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Recognizing the fawning response 12 Ways fawning makes a Hijackal happyWhy narcissistic people want you to fawn...and then, make you wrong for it8 steps to take to stop the fawning response and reclaim your powerReady to take back your power and give up fawning? I'm here to help.Let's talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#fawningresponse #giveupfawning #stopfawning #reclaimyourpower #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasers #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse
12/28/2021

18 Reasons Why Emotional Abusers Prefer People-Pleasers

Ep. 237
When you deeply think about these eighteen reasons, you'll recognize eighteen things you can heal so you won't attract, or keep, an emotional abuser. It's a BIG step to recognize these because you are capable of changing...especially when you know exactly what and why to change. The Hijackal, the emotionally abusive person, will not change.You will...once you clearly see what' needs to change!Emotional abuse is something you get used to even while you're hating it. It needs to stop, right? In this episode, you'll recognize steps you can take to make that so, and feel good.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:18 reasons that Hijackals are drawn to people pleasersDefinition of people-pleasers & their traitsInsights into what you need to heal to say no to emotional abuseHow Hijackal parents set you up for Hijackal relationshipsNeed help to say no to emotional abuse? I'm here to help.Let's talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#peoplepleasing #peoplepleasers #puttingupwithemotionalabuse #freefromabuse #giveuppeoplepleasing#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse
12/21/2021

Handing Hijackal Holiday Horrors

Ep. 236
The holidays bring out the worst in Hijackals. I'm sure you've noticed. Why does this happen? What do you need to be watching for? And, what do you do to? This episode can help you reclaim your power during the holidays.When you're living with, have left, or were raised by Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, self-centered people, you may dread the holidays. Hijackals are much more than attention-seekers. They are attention-demanders. That's why they hijack holidays, leading you to dread both them AND the holidays! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:10 ways Hijackals ruin holidaysWhy Hijackals--narcissistic people, anti-social people--think they MUST be in controlHow Hijackals play on your hopes, emotions, and expectations of the holidaysWhy you should take your own car to events...especially during the holidaysWere you abused? Are you being abused? Are you healing from abuse?.I'm here to help.Let's talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#holidayhorrors #hijackalsattheholidays #narcissistsruinholidays #ruintheholidays #needingtobethecenterofattention #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse
12/14/2021

Worthy, Wanted & Welcome?

Ep. 235
Whether it is parents or partners that make you feel worthless, unwanted, and unappreciated, it leads to emotional abuse. It's important to recognize these basic truths about emotional abuse so they will not continue to damage your life. Hijackals and other emotional abusers don't want you to feel worthy, wanted, or welcome. That would make you their equal and they are having none of that. You've likely noticed that. Hijackals are always in competition with you...for no other reason than they live in morbid fear of being wrong or shamed. So, they learn tactics to control, manipulate, and rewrite history. I know it's difficult to actually say to yourself, "My partner (or parent) is emotionally abusive." You may feel embarrassed, or worse, you may feel unkind saying that about someone who is actually abusing you. That's why it's important to recognize emotional abuse, and call it what it is. Then, you can begin extricating yourself from it. Healthy parents want and welcome their children. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why there's nothing wrong with wanting to be wantedWhat unconditional acceptance meansWhy Hijackals and other emotional abusers do not want you to feel worthy, wanted, or welcomeWhy it is essential to the rest of your life to recognize emotional abuse Were you abused? Are you being abused? Are you healing from abuse?.I'm here to help.Let's talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#emotionallyabusiveparent #emotionallyabusivepartner #amiworthyoflove #signsofemotionalabuse#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse
12/7/2021

Living With Emotional Abuse

Ep. 234
Sometimes, it's hard to see emotional abuse when it's happening. Sometimes, you were young and thought it was normal. What about now? Are you living in it, or suffering from the long-term effects of it? How do you know? Listen for answers to these questions.Emotional abuse can be hard to recognize in the beginning. Some people have difficult naming it, even after experiencing it for far too long. This episode will help you understand the underlying nature of living with emotional abuse. I offer the analogy between living with emotional abuse and having black mold in your house. Understanding those similarities can help you get a handle on the extent of emotional abuse you may have experienced, or be experiencing.Think of the effects of living with spreading mold in your basement or under your kitchen sink. You are unaware of it, yet it keeps on affecting you. Eventually, you find the cause. I hope this episode will help you pinpoint emotional abuse earlier, rather than later.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Signs of emotional abuseWhy emotional abuse is the hardest to recognizeHow emotional abuse affects you like mold in your houseThe accumulative effects of long-term emotional abuseWhy it is essential to recognize and admit that you have experienced emotional abuse. Were you abused? Are you being abused? Are you healing from abuse?.I'm here to help.Let's talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#livingwithemotionalabuse #gaslighting #toxicshame #abuseathome #effectsofabuse #amibeingabused #hypervigilance#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse
11/30/2021

10 Root Fears That Hijackals Prey On...Relentlessly

Ep. 233
We all have things we fear, things we may not even be conscious of. Hijackals exploit your deepest root fears to manipulate and control. They make those fears worse and more real. Recognize these fears and how the Hijackal feeds them.Oxford Languages defines fear as "an unplesasant emotion caused by the believe someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat." There are many roots to your fears: the places things grow from. When you were raised by, lived with, or left a Hijackal, you will have had your fears magnified by the experience, in most cases.Time to recognize these ten fears (there are many more) and how Hijackals prey on them to keep you scared, small, restricted, confined, and controlled. Nasty!Once you listen to this episode, you will be empowered to see how Hijackals use your fears and wounds to manipulate, control, and coerce you. With that knowledge, you can recognize the emotional abuse. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:How Hijackals are attracted to people with woundsHow your root fears can turn into your beliefs about yourself and othersWhy Hijackals want to keep you hypervigilant and afraidReclaiming and regaining your personal powerWant to talk about your relationship? .I'm here to help.Let's talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#rootfears #hownarcissistsuseyourfears #underlyingfears #hijackalspreyonyourfears #hypervigilance#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse
11/23/2021

Recognizing Relationship Trauma - Past & Present

Ep. 232
Everyone experiences trauma differently. Frequently, folks don't recognize or acknowledge their trauma, either. This episode will help you understand how you may--or may not--have processed trauma, and why you may be recreating it, too.You cannot separate the mind from the body. They are constantly interacting and informing one another. When you have experienced trauma, both your mind and body are affected. And, you may not have realized what happened to you.Dr. Gabor Mate said, "Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically that then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you're acting out of pain. It induces fear and now you're acting out of fear. Trauma is not what happens to you, it's what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you."When you see that clearly, and you relate it to your experience, you can choose a healing and recovering journey. Vital to recognize if you'd like to change your life!HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:The body/mind connection when trauma is experienced3 immediate responses most people have to trauma whether they recognize them or not3 additional stages of trauma and their symptomsHow trauma creates a habitual dis-ease that can be healed.Want to talk about your relationship? .I'm here to help.Let's talk soon.RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#recognizingtrauma #traumaresponses #yourbodyrememberstrauma #drgabormate #drpeterlevine#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse