Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Yes, narcissistic people are self-centered, but does the reverse hold true? Are self-centered people always narcissistic? Important distinctions here that can help you understand the troubling folks in your life. Or, do you think it's a distinction without a difference? Listen in and see what you discover. In this episode, I offer you ten ways to see the differences between self-centered people and narcissistic people. These ten distinctions can be VERY helpful if you're wondering whether to stay in a relationship with a partner, parent, sibling, or friend, or to break away. That's valuable! HINT: One of them can and will change, the other? Not at all likely!We're all self-centered at some time...or wishing we could be. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have your turn in the sun. The operant word, though is "turn." Hijackals want to have all the "turns," right?HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:10 ways self-centered people are different than narcissistic peopleWhy it is important to see the distinctions between self-centered and narcissistic peopleThe part empathy plays in the distinctionsWhen there is entitlement, it changes the dynamicI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #selcenteredvsnarcissistic #selfabsorbed #narcissistic #differencebetweenselfcenteredandnarcissistic #empathy #entitled #entitlment #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Hijackals insist you're not good enough...even though they chose you or gave birth to you. What's up with that!@##%%!? It's crazy-making and it's important to understand why this happens. And, why it continues throughout the relationship unless you change. It's not OK.This episode will help you clearly see through this crazy-making habit of emotional abuse: making you feel not good enough. It serves the Hijackal but it does not serve you. Understand these things so you can make positive changes right away.When someone needs to put you down in order to feel better about themselves, there's trouble. That's what happening with narcissistic Hijackals. They may you feel:"I'm constantly being put down.""They make me feel not good enough.""I am exhausted and feel worn down.""I'm losing my ability to think clearly about myself.""Am I really a terrible person?""Am I the problem in this relationship?"That's JUST what a Hijackal® wants you to be thinking. Let's change that!!! Listen in.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why this quote is significant: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt How making you feel not good enough is key to gaining coercive controlWhy you may need to change your internal dialogueWhy Hijackals and other narcissists like to amplify and magnify the message that you're not enoughI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #notgoodenough #needtoputmedown #givemenocredit #emotionallyimmature #narcissisticfear#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

It's SO helpful to recognize the underlying resentments triggered in both a Hijackal AND their partner. Some may surprise you! Recognition leads to understanding which helps you to know your next best steps. Resentment is rife in all relationships with Hijackals...on both sides, too. You may feel it. Now, explore why and what's under that. Why? So you move forward wisely.Both Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult people with narcissistic tendencies--and the person with whom they share a relationship will feel resentment. Very different reasons, but the same final result. It's important to learn the distinctions. It will help you understand why a relationship with a Hijackal is unlikely to sustain positive changes over time. Living in and with resentment coming towards you or coming from within you is consuming...and, not in a good way. Listen in!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Hijackals operate from resentment much of the timeNon-Hijackals live with resentment and often repress expressing itWhy you need to see these distinctions about resentment, rage and repression clearlyWhat you can do to take your next best steps after recognizing the presence of rage, repression and resentmentI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #rage #repression #repressedrage #resentment #simmeringresentment #resentmentandrage#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Don't Lose or Abandon Yourself!Narcissistic people want all the attention as well as all the air in the room, right? You can find yourself giving it to them in hopes of them treating you better or liking/loving you more. Turn this around. Listen in to why you need to turn the focus on yourself and turn away from trying to please the narcissist.This episode is very specifically focused on your relationship with a Hijackal, or any narcissistic person. It is based on the dynamic that the Hijackal wants to continuously create and how it is different from a healthy relationship. Hijackals are NOT self-reflective. You know that. You can lose yourself in meeting the demands, or believing the accusations of a narcissistic person, right? It usually happens slowly over time. Listen in to recognize if it's time for you to turn things around and go in a healthier direction for yourself (and your children.)HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why this episode focuses on a very specific kind of relationship. Check that out!3 Must-Haves of a Healthy Adult Relationship = Episode 115Why you want to keep balance in any relationship regarding power, status, and controlRecognizing when it's time to stop researching about toxic relationships and START making changesNever let anyone habitually degrade, discount, or dismiss your needs, wants, feelings, or thought! I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #abandonmyself #losemyself #demandingnarcissist #selfcare #reclaimingmyself #reclaimmypower#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

No Object Constancy Creates Constant ThreatsObject constancy is very much missing in a relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal, and it's an essential ingredient of a healthy relationship. In this episode, I explain what it is and what happens when it's missing.Does your relationship feel like juggling jello? It will if you have a Hijackal in it!!!Learn how to see and understand what's missing in your relationship that causes SO much tension and second-guessing. You may be blaming yourself as well as being blamed by the Hijackal, and IT'S NOT TRUE! That's why thinking about this important concept of "object constancy" helps you to understand why you feel so pushed around by the extremes of the Hijackal. Fancy name for a very important concept!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why life seems so unpredictable with a narcissistic personHow things so easily go from getting along to being threatened with being left and you feel blind-sidedHow life with a Hijackal is like "juggling Jello" (Ever felt that way?)What "object constancy" is and why it answers big questions about the way Hijackals areHow uncertainty becomes a constant in a relationship with a HijackalI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #objectconstancy #wholeobjectrelations #beingthreatened #feelingthreatened #beingleft #neverfeelclose#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Being with a narcissist or any Hijackal is exhausting! You really want to believe they love you and yet to scramble to find even little shards of evidence. Then, you make the shards sound like a whole thing, right? You second-guess yourself...because a Hijackal WANTS you to feel uncertain and confused. Listen in and recognize how and that this is happening, SO you can stop it!!!Self-doubt means you lose faith and confidence in yourself and your abilities. You can also start questioning your memory, wants, judgment, needs, feelings, and thoughts. A Hijackal preys on your vulnerabilities in attempts to keep you second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity. Do these 10 signs of self-doubt and low self-esteem sound familiar? HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:How narcissists dominate the emotional landscape...or try toRecognizing the ten 10 signs of self-doubt and its accompany low self-esteemWhy Hijackals NEED to take up too much space and leave you too littleWhy eroding your self-confidence is a huge win for a narcissistic HijackalHow to know it's time to say "NO" to someone who wears, tears, and puts you down.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #selfdoubt #livingwithanarcissist #haveanarcissisticparent #selfcritical #difficultpeople #lowselfesteem #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

You look for signs that someone cares. You long for signs they love you, right? So any little glimmer seems hopeful. Yet, you feel alone, demeaned, dismissed, and ignored in so many ways. That's a problem!In this episode, you'll learn more about why you cannot find the emotional intimacy you crave with an empathy-deficient person, a Hijackal who is narcissistic.. And, what you need to know to make good decisions about it, too. p.s. ALL Hijackals are narcissistic!Hijackal® is my term for people who hijack a relationship for their own needs and purposes, and then relentlessly scavenge that relationship for power, status, and control. Got on in your life? A parent? Partner? Sibling? Adult Child? In-Law? Hijackals feel the need to take as much as they can from you, while giving you as little as possible to get away with. Familiar? Listen in.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why empathy is important to intimacyWhy you're not safe when there is no empathyWhy you must notice how you make excuses for the lack of empathy in othersHow the desire for closeness with a person is healthy...and, what makes it not.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #notfeelingsafe #noemotionalsafety #noequality #noempathy #noemotionalintimacy ##emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

They keep you guessing, don't they? Narcissists--and all Hijackals--like to keep you in uncertainty, chaos, and confusion. You HOPE you know them, and then they make you question it. Can you rely on them? Only for one thing...and, I tell you about that ONE thing in this episode along with many signs showing you that it is unwise to trust a narcissistic person even you want to believe you know and like them. Honesty is a big question when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal, as well as respect, reliability, safety, and trust. Much as you want to believe they have those things to give you...sadly, they don't...and won't. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Where the idea of "know, like & trust" came from: Bob Burg's book, Endless ReferralsHow it applies to relationshipsThe one thing you CAN trust about Hijackals and other narcissistic folksWhat makes it almost impossible for Hijackals to love you6 predictable things about Hijackals® I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #knowliketrust #narcissistisunreliable #canttrustmypartner #canmypartnerchange #ihatethelies #timetoleave#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Partner? Parent? Sibling? Child? Someone holding you as an emotional hostage? SEE THE SIGNS! You may be making excuses for their behavior, and not seeing their destructive, manipulative ways. You need to clearly recognize these signs of emotional terrorists in action so you can clearly refuse to let them take you hostage.You can become a hostage so slowly that you actually did so willingly. You thought it was compromise, collaboration, and the loving thing to do. You may not have thought of it as abusive...and, now is the time to find out what's really going on. Emotional terrorists traffic in fear, obligation, guilt, anxiety, and hypervigilance. Do those sound familiar? You really NEED to know these signs! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:How emotional terrorists are similar to other kinds of terrorists <sigh!>What emotional terrorists do to hold you hostageHow your empathy can be played upon by Hijackals and other emotional terroristsWhy it's important to not take on board what they say about youHow recognizing these signs of emotional terrorism can help you to strengthen your resolve to say NO to emotional abuseI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients,only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community #emotiona.terrorists #emotionalterrorism #emotionalhostage #takebackyourpersonalpower #saynotoabuse#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse