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Housebound With A Hijackal? #2 - 6 Ways to Stay Safer Without Losing Your Cool

Ep. 107

Still being housebound with a #Hijackal during this difficult time? Even after things go back to somewhat normal and the #Hijackal in your house returns to work, you'll be in better shape if you follow these practices now.


If your #Hijackal works from home all the time, you'll find these strategies useful. However, they won't solve the chronic stress and anxiety caused by the need to be hyper-vigilant around a toxic person. You'll need help to navigate the challenges and clarify your thinking to make good long-term decisions.


#Hijackals want to be the ones that make the rules, right? So, being told to stay home when it's not their idea, NOT GOOD!


You will be blamed for everything, even for world events and other things totally beyond your control. You know that's true.


Hijackals take no responsibility for what they say or do. When you remind them of what they said, they tell you you didn't listen well. In fact, they'll say you NEVER listen well. And, of course, they didn't say it. It's your faulty thinking or remembering. Crazy-making!


Now, magnify that by being in a situation where they cannot do what they want? Nightmare!


You need some sanity-saving short-term strategies. These may prove so effective you establish a new long-term pattern. Great!


I know how difficult this time can be when you're trying to cope with being cooped up with a difficult, toxic, self-centered supposed adult. Try these. No magic, but even a little relief will be welcome, I'm sure.


Big hugs!

Rhoberta


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • How you can best use this time to practice empowering strategies
  • Taking charge of where you place your attention
  • What absolutely won't work
  • Know this "housebound 24/7" is not going to last forever
  • Changing your internal conversation to save your sanity
  • Why it's never a good idea to poke a #Hijackal
  • Temporary measures to save your sanity


Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97


CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.


Learn more: TransformingRelationship.com

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#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

More Episodes

6/8/2021

10 Emotionally Abusive Things Hijackals Say Often

Ep. 208
You hear the same demeaning, dismissive things from narcissistic Hijackals all the time. It wears you down and they put your down. You need tools and strategies to neutralize the poison when it's being poured on you. This episode gives you specific insights into keeping yourself safer. #Hijackals are always looking for a way, a place, an opening to exert power over you. I'm thinking that you're nodding your head in agreement as you read that, right? Hijackals will go to any lengths to be right, to win, to make you wrong, and make everything your fault. It's the Hijackal's nature to do that. And, it is exhausting! You can become so worn down that you may even start believing what a Hijackal says about you. Has that happened to you? Or, maybe, you got to the "Whatever!" stage? You have been judged, criticized, gaslighted, and ignored, too. They feel powerful when they do those things: large and in charge, they think. They are not. They are actually small and afraid, but they'll never, ever see or admit that. In this episode, I've offered ten of the multitude of things a narcissist or other Hijackal will say to you to put you in your place, or so they think! In their worlds, they must be the top of the pile, and they honestly think that their needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, preferences, memories, whims, and demands should take precedence over everyone else's. Yes, they may do that in an overt, obvious, even grandiose way. They also may do it in a "I'm a victim" covert way. In fact, many times, they'll use both, just to cover their bases. How to respond to this to save your sanity and stop second-guessing yourself? I offer you clear ways to work on that. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why narcissistic Hijackals (in fact, all Hijackals) need to demean, dismiss, and discount you10 phrases they use to hopefully gain power over youHow to use your inner dialogue to not shrink when a narcissist is nastyRecognizing more ways that emotional abuse shows up in primary relationships with parents, partners, siblings, and adult childrenHow to stick to the facts and respond accordingly Do you need insights and strategies for mitigating and responding to emotional and verbal abuse? I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered CommunitySave $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#emotionallyabusive #nastythingsnarcissistssay #whatnarcissistssay #howtoneutralize #neutralizeemotionalabuse #neutralizingverbalabuse #yourinternaldialogue #notgoodenough #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest
6/1/2021

THE DREADED SILENT TREATMENT

Ep. 207
Ugh! The narcissistic Hijackal falls silent, ignores you, and won't respond. What's up with that? What are they hoping to achieve? What's your internal dialogue? What ways are most effective to respond? That's today's episode. So dismissive! Hijackals can treat you as though you're invisible, erased, and definitely not present. They want to impress upon you the contempt they feel for you. So, they fall silent. Big power move...or, so they think! Until you understand the dynamics of this, you may be upset, distressed, and doing everything in your power to get the Hijackal to starting talking to you. Have you done that? What was the cost? I'll bet it was at the expense of your self-esteem at the very least! Hijackals and other narcissistic folks--and other passive-aggressive people--want you to think they have power over you. When they can't win by talking, they try to by The Silent Treatment. It's nasty. For some of them, they do it because they don't know what else to do. Pathetic! For others, they do it to impress on you just how upset they are with you. Is it working? So much of the BIG silence is emotionally abusive. I'm sure you've felt that, but have you allowed yourself to call it that? In this episode, I talk about seven ways that The Silent Treatment is emotionally abusive. After you listen, you'll be able to clearly see what's up with that in your relationship. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What Hijackals want to avoid by giving you The Silent TreatmentWhy narcissistic folks misguidedly think The Silent Treatment will work7 ways to recognize The Silent Treatment as emotional abuse6 ways NOT to respond to The Silent Treatment4 MUST-DOS to respond to The Silent TreatmentIf you're tired of the drama, the manipulation, and The Silent Treatment, I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered CommunitySave $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#silenttreatment #respondingtothesilenttreatment #whatsupwiththat #whatbulliesdo #thesilenttreamentisabusive #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest
5/25/2021

HIJACKALS & THEIR WARPED SENSE OF FAIR, JUST & EQUAL

Ep. 205
Hijackals & other narcissistic people have neither thought nor intention of leveling any playing field. No, it's about the all important winning. Why? What can you do or say? Use the ideas in this episode to step back from the crazy-making!When you're in a relationship with a relatively healthy person, you work things out. In working them out together, you build trust and safety. It brings you closer. Not so when you're dealing with narcissistic #Hijackals! They do not want to create emotional intimacy, so getting closer to them is really swooping in for the win. It is not something they can, or want to, sustain. You've likely noticed that. Why do they have out-of-proportion responses when you ask something small from them? Sadly, everything threatens them, and they resist any form of healthy giving. Normally healthy people, when offended, have a reaction, cool down, and things can be repaired. Hijackals react by devaluing you, threatening, punishing, disregarding, discarding, or the power move of The Silent Treatment. Learn more about these tactics in this episode. Also, learn four solid ways to respond when you recognize that you have been trying to fit in, please, or appease a person with narcissistic tendencies. Great steps to finding and reclaiming your personal power, the power to operate from your own thoughts, feelings, values, vision, beliefs, and desires. I know you don't desire move emotional abuse, right? You'll be empowered by taking these four steps! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Most healthy enough relationships operate on fairness. Not so in a relationship with a #Hijackal.Why narcissistic Hijackals operate in their own self-interestWhy no meaningful solutions are found to relationship difficulties with a narcissistic personWays to respond to the warped sense of equality, fairness and justiceSteps to be emerging empowered as you recognize the warp and respondIf you're exhausted and worn down by a toxic relationship, let's talk about how to be emerging empowered from this warped world of Hijackals. I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered CommunitySave $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#narcissistareunfair #neverequal #alwaysbetterthanme #needtowin #hijackalsneedtowin #oneupmanship #nothingisfair #hairlinesenseofjustice #narcissisticwould #narcissisticneeds @narcissistictendencies #warpedworld #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest