Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

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Have ADHD? Why You Might Be An Unwitting Hijackal Magnet

Ep. 178

Toxic relationships are created when a partner exploits the vulnerabilities of the other. If you have ADHD tendencies, you may easily miss red flags as you pay attention to the charms, and are intrigued by the possibilities of the fake future they paint so readily.


Fear and shame also play a part you need to recognize. Hijackals have a honed sense of recognition of vulnerabilities. They are on high alert, looking for these to use to their advantage. You can be the most successful person and they'll see you as a challenge. Not good, at all!


Diann Wingert shares her insights and studies to help us understand why people with ADHD may not see toxic relationships clearly, and stay too long even though they are experiencing emotional abuse.



HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • How ADHD affects your ability to see red flags when you meet someone new
  • Traits women with ADHD have that makes them more susceptible to toxic relationships
  • Why intuition sometimes fails to discern patterns of manipulation when ADHD is present
  • Why verbal abuse and emotional abuse are sometimes not enough to make someone with ADHD leave a narcissist
  • Reasons that people with ADHD fail to leave toxic relationships and to recognize emotional trauma


GUEST: DIANN WINGERT


Diann Wingert is a mindset and productivity coach for female entrepreneurs who identify with the traits of ADHD, officially diagnosed or not. During her 20-year career as a licensed psychotherapist, Diann saw many brilliant and ambitious women struggle with unidentified ADHD, including Diann herself. Since her own mid-life diagnosis, she now mentors women who are “driven but distracted” to get focused and overcome procrastination, perfectionism, and people-pleasing so they can craft a life and business they love.


Diann offers both individual and small group virtual coaching and mentoring to women all over the world. She is a dynamic podcast guest on the topics of ADHD in high ability women, the mental health challenges of entrepreneurship, self care for the self employed and how women can cultivate an entrepreneurial mindset.


GIFT FOR YOU: Wow! Diann is offering you three things at NO cost:

6 Steps to ADHD Mastery, The Driven Woman's Roadmap and the ADHD Signature Strengths Quiz.

https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/free-stuff


CONNECT WITH DIANN WINGERT :

WEBSITE: https://www.diannewingertcoaching.com

PODCAST: The Driven Woman https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/podcast

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/diannwingertcoaching

YOUTUBE:  

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/coachdiannwingert/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/

TWITTER: 

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.


FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler


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I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Relationship Help Support Circles  

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#passiveaggressive

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More Episodes

4/13/2021

Wonder Why People-Pleasers Attract Emotional Abusers?

Ep. 196
Growing up in an emotionally abusive home, or an overly compassionate home, or even and emotionally neglectful home can set you up to accept emotional abuse. It's not your fault! Maybe, you had a perfectly lovely home, but you were encouraged to put other people's needs, wants, expectations, and desires ahead of your own. That can happen, and you being so giving gets sadly and badly taken advantage of by a #Hijackal. People pleasers make great targets--and easy pickings--for a Hijackal, an emotional abuser. And, yes, of course, there may well be verbal abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, or spiritual abuse, as well. Nasty! Some people are surprised when I say that they are not here to make other people happy. It sounds like a really good thing to do. And, doing things that please others in an equal, reciprocal, and mutual relationship is a very good idea. (That's the mutuality part!) However, in an inequal, non-reciprocal, and non-mutual relationship, it all goes terribly sideways, and you can be very hurt by it. This episode gives you twenty-five ways that you may have been setup to appeal to an emotionally abusive person, a #Hijackal. I invite you to think about each one because each one you change will improve the quality of your life. It is unlikely to improve the quality of your relationship with a Hijackal, though. They want you to remain as you were, taking what they dish out. But, no! Time for a change. When you see these 25 things, you can change them, and that is a very good thing. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Insights into the effects of your childhood on your current relationshipsWhy being overly compassionate plays into a Hijackal's hands25 ways that people pleasing ways set you up to accept emotional abuseWhy it's important to see these 25 ways so that you can change them nowHow to undertake Escaping the Hijackal Trap When you're ready to reclaim your personal power and rebuild your life in a healthier way, I'm here to help. I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Support CommunitySave $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#seetheabuse #peoplepleasers #narcissistsandpeoplepleasers #targetforemotionalabuse #puttingupwithemotionalabuse #amIbeingemotionallyabused #imbalanceinrelationship #outofbalance #emotionalbalance #equalityinrelationship #reciprocityinrelationship #mutualityinrelationship #healthyadultrelationship #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest
4/6/2021

Feeling Stuck & Second-Guessing Yourself?

Ep. 195
Yes, you are wise to be self-reflective, asking yourself "What is my part in the relationship difficulties?" #Hijackals and other toxic people want you to taking responsibility for the whole relationship. They are happy to tell you that everything is your fault. You know that. In this episode, I'm addressing the three BIG questions I am asked so frequently when someone gets to the point of considering leaving, or has recently left a toxic relationship. These three questions cause them to further second-guess themselves from within. Sure, ask those three questions and answer them honestly...ONCE. Then, take action. #Hijackals and those with narcissistic tendencies and traits know they can baffle you with sweet talk, double talk, or straight out lies. They know. Don't believe them! Yes, it's easier said than done, I know. But, don't believe them. They are behaving from self-interest alone. Then, don't start feeding yourself the doubts the Hijackal planted within you. That's their thing: keep you in chaos and confusion, always giving them the benefit of the doubt. It is not healthy, and don't buy it. So, these three big questions come up. Hopefully, after you listen to this episode, you'll be done with those and ready to move forward with a clearer picture of where you're going, what you want, and what you don't. Listen in. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why being self-reflective is a good first strategyWhy it's important to get things in perspective for yourselfDon't make excuses for a Hijackal and keep yourself stuckThe three questions that keep you stuck...or, make you consider going backHow, once you've thoroughly explored these three questions, you'll never have to answer them againYou want to be a good person, a fair person, in your relationship. Usually, if you're with a Hijackal, you'll be doing most of the giving, and the Hijackal will happily take, take, take. That's best clearly seen and stopped. Then, be ready to remind yourself of the answers so you don't have to think it through again. I wish you well. I'm always here to help.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Support Circle.Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#secondguessingmyself #feelingstuckinrelationship #amithenarcissist #amimakingamistake #whyistaywithanarcissist #whyistaywithahijackal #selfconfidencetoleave #alwaysbelievebehavior #downplayingtheabuse #seetheabuse #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest
4/3/2021

MEN: How to Revive a Dormant Sex Life After You've Killed the Connection

Ep. 194
Men, would you like to know what to say when your female partner is really angry? The answer--and many more--are in this episode with GS Youngblood, author of The Masculine in Relationship. He says, "There are so many couples in pain in the world. The man feeling that his partner criticizes and belittles him, and is not interested in sex. The woman dying for more emotional connection, and to feel much more power, leadership, and clarity from her man." Oh, yes, you can bet I was champing at the bit with questions! Questions about gender equality, "leadership," and misogyny, for starts! And, yes, I challenged so much because I read the book and all kinds of things popped up to discuss: possessiveness, a "caveman mentality, and so much more. Empathy which is often so lacking in toxic relationships became a big topic, going from GS's definition to mine and finding the intersections. Did we end up on the same page? Listen for that, for sure! What about men jumping to solutions without listening to their partners? (Calm down. We're talking about men's things in this episode...lol.) I asked GS why he talks so much as "masculine leadership." Does he balance that with feminine leadership? Are they the same, or vastly different? I think your thoughts will be stimulated by this conversation.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:When masculinity is toxicMistakes you might be making (or experiencing)How GS Youngblood shifted his thinking and expectations to improve relationshipsWhat makes relationships go sidewaysThe place of empathy and what it means and looks like in relationshipWhat emotional oxygen is Agree? Disagree? Learn something? It's all good. Be good to yourself.RhobertaGUEST: GS YOUNGBLOODGS Youngblood is the author of "The Masculine in Relationship". He coaches men in relationships on how to live, love, and lead from their Masculine core. He specializes in “nice guys” who are with strong women. His teachings combine deep embodiment work with the framework of the Masculine blueprint from his book. Learn more at gsyoungblood.com.Reception to the book has been phenomenal. Both from men (“You just described my married life to perfection…” and “This is the best book I’ve EVER read on masculinity in a relationship”) and women (“I just picked up your book off my coffee table that my husband bought and it’s like you’ve been listening to me talk for the last few years! Insane how much you get it.”)His writings are filtered through the laboratory of his and his clients’ real-world, long term relationships (including the successes and spectacular failures) to see what actually works and what doesn’t. Through this lens of Masculine leadership, he also pulls in principles from a variety of fields: psychology, martial arts, tango, meditation, and BDSM.FREE GIFT FROM GS YOUNGBLOOD: Not at this timeCONTACT INFO FOR GS YOUNGBLOOD :Website:www.GSYoungblood.comPodcasts:LinkedIn:www.linkedin.com/in/hassanatettehFacebook:www.facebook.com/gsyoungblood1Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/gsyoungbloodmirTwitter:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd5aEX9NV-4DzBNd8y_IvWw--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler?We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Support Circles----------------------------------------------------------------------#gsyoungblood #masclineinrelationships #dontbea loser #reviveyoursexlife #dormantsexlife #nosexlife #revivingconnection #itsmorethansex #niceguys #masculinecore #masculineblueprint#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered