Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

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Got chemistry? Nice But Not Enough!

Ep. 176

Hijackals use chemistry to manipulate and control you. They exploit it to feel they have power over you. It is a significant part of trauma-bonding. Get clear on what's really happening when you think you're in love, rather than knowing you're being used. 


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • What lust, attraction, and attachment have to do with creating toxic relationships
  • Why #Hijackals want to recreate their trauma from a position of control
  • What part trauma-bonding plays in thinking you have chemistry with a toxic person
  • How #Hijackals depend on the chemistry to keep you hooked in a toxic relationship, a verbally abusive relationship
  • How misused chemistry can lead to emotional abuse


Chemistry may draw you back to a relationship of narcissistic abuse and emotional trauma. You may confuse it with love. It isn't love. Don't be fooled. Stop the trauma-bonding, too!


Big hugs!

Rhoberta


Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97


CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.


FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler


YOUTUBEhttps://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Circle. Save $24 on your first three months.

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#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

More Episodes

4/6/2021

Feeling Stuck & Second-Guessing Yourself?

Ep. 195
Yes, you are wise to be self-reflective, asking yourself "What is my part in the relationship difficulties?" #Hijackals and other toxic people want you to taking responsibility for the whole relationship. They are happy to tell you that everything is your fault. You know that. In this episode, I'm addressing the three BIG questions I am asked so frequently when someone gets to the point of considering leaving, or has recently left a toxic relationship. These three questions cause them to further second-guess themselves from within. Sure, ask those three questions and answer them honestly...ONCE. Then, take action. #Hijackals and those with narcissistic tendencies and traits know they can baffle you with sweet talk, double talk, or straight out lies. They know. Don't believe them! Yes, it's easier said than done, I know. But, don't believe them. They are behaving from self-interest alone. Then, don't start feeding yourself the doubts the Hijackal planted within you. That's their thing: keep you in chaos and confusion, always giving them the benefit of the doubt. It is not healthy, and don't buy it. So, these three big questions come up. Hopefully, after you listen to this episode, you'll be done with those and ready to move forward with a clearer picture of where you're going, what you want, and what you don't. Listen in. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why being self-reflective is a good first strategyWhy it's important to get things in perspective for yourselfDon't make excuses for a Hijackal and keep yourself stuckThe three questions that keep you stuck...or, make you consider going backHow, once you've thoroughly explored these three questions, you'll never have to answer them againYou want to be a good person, a fair person, in your relationship. Usually, if you're with a Hijackal, you'll be doing most of the giving, and the Hijackal will happily take, take, take. That's best clearly seen and stopped. Then, be ready to remind yourself of the answers so you don't have to think it through again. I wish you well. I'm always here to help.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Support Circle.Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#secondguessingmyself #feelingstuckinrelationship #amithenarcissist #amimakingamistake #whyistaywithanarcissist #whyistaywithahijackal #selfconfidencetoleave #alwaysbelievebehavior #downplayingtheabuse #seetheabuse #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest
4/3/2021

MEN: How to Revive a Dormant Sex Life After You've Killed the Connection

Ep. 194
Men, would you like to know what to say when your female partner is really angry? The answer--and many more--are in this episode with GS Youngblood, author of The Masculine in Relationship. He says, "There are so many couples in pain in the world. The man feeling that his partner criticizes and belittles him, and is not interested in sex. The woman dying for more emotional connection, and to feel much more power, leadership, and clarity from her man." Oh, yes, you can bet I was champing at the bit with questions! Questions about gender equality, "leadership," and misogyny, for starts! And, yes, I challenged so much because I read the book and all kinds of things popped up to discuss: possessiveness, a "caveman mentality, and so much more. Empathy which is often so lacking in toxic relationships became a big topic, going from GS's definition to mine and finding the intersections. Did we end up on the same page? Listen for that, for sure! What about men jumping to solutions without listening to their partners? (Calm down. We're talking about men's things in this episode...lol.) I asked GS why he talks so much as "masculine leadership." Does he balance that with feminine leadership? Are they the same, or vastly different? I think your thoughts will be stimulated by this conversation.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:When masculinity is toxicMistakes you might be making (or experiencing)How GS Youngblood shifted his thinking and expectations to improve relationshipsWhat makes relationships go sidewaysThe place of empathy and what it means and looks like in relationshipWhat emotional oxygen is Agree? Disagree? Learn something? It's all good. Be good to yourself.RhobertaGUEST: GS YOUNGBLOODGS Youngblood is the author of "The Masculine in Relationship". He coaches men in relationships on how to live, love, and lead from their Masculine core. He specializes in “nice guys” who are with strong women. His teachings combine deep embodiment work with the framework of the Masculine blueprint from his book. Learn more at gsyoungblood.com.Reception to the book has been phenomenal. Both from men (“You just described my married life to perfection…” and “This is the best book I’ve EVER read on masculinity in a relationship”) and women (“I just picked up your book off my coffee table that my husband bought and it’s like you’ve been listening to me talk for the last few years! Insane how much you get it.”)His writings are filtered through the laboratory of his and his clients’ real-world, long term relationships (including the successes and spectacular failures) to see what actually works and what doesn’t. Through this lens of Masculine leadership, he also pulls in principles from a variety of fields: psychology, martial arts, tango, meditation, and BDSM.FREE GIFT FROM GS YOUNGBLOOD: Not at this timeCONTACT INFO FOR GS YOUNGBLOOD :Website:www.GSYoungblood.comPodcasts:LinkedIn:www.linkedin.com/in/hassanatettehFacebook:www.facebook.com/gsyoungblood1Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/gsyoungbloodmirTwitter:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd5aEX9NV-4DzBNd8y_IvWw--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler?We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Support Circles----------------------------------------------------------------------#gsyoungblood #masclineinrelationships #dontbea loser #reviveyoursexlife #dormantsexlife #nosexlife #revivingconnection #itsmorethansex #niceguys #masculinecore #masculineblueprint#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered
3/30/2021

Future Faking

Ep. 193
All those promises! All those dreams! Was it future faking? That's a very common way that #Hijackals keep you engaged in the relationship. Learn how it works...and, what really doesn't work about it. You need to see this clearly, or you'll be hooked on hope! All you ever wanted and more...one day. That's the promise of future faking: when a Hijackal promises or alludes to giving you something you want in the future to get what they want in the present. And, so much more. A Hijackal makes big moves early on in the relationship, feigning great interest in knowing you. Sorry. It's not because they're so interested in who you are: it's they're so interested in what they can get from you. Sad. And, this is why they #futurefake! To engage you in the dream! Lean in and listen to all the ways narcissists use this ploy to get what they want. You'll want to recognize each one for what it is. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:How #futurefaking hooks you into staying in an abusive relationshipWhy it can become a pattern that you really don't see How F.O.M.O. plays into the #futurefaking dynamicsParents and future faking you grew up withRed flags of future faking during dating. BIG! How narcissists and other Hijackals paint beautiful pictures of the futureWhy you need to believe the patterns and change your directionSo disappointing! Being with a #Hijackal is a roller coaster that has great, occasional highs but goes mostly downhill. Future faking is a part of this that can keep you staying when you need to be going. Create a better future yourself. .I'm always here to help.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me? We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Support Circle.Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#unhealthyrelationships #futurefaking #narcissistmanipulation #hookedonhope #narcissistlies #waysnarcissistssuckyouin #liesnarcissiststell #cantbelieveanarcissist #dontbelieveanarcissist #narcissisticfuturefaking #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest