Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

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Got chemistry? Nice But Not Enough!

Ep. 176

Hijackals use chemistry to manipulate and control you. They exploit it to feel they have power over you. It is a significant part of trauma-bonding. Get clear on what's really happening when you think you're in love, rather than knowing you're being used. 


HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

  • What lust, attraction, and attachment have to do with creating toxic relationships
  • Why #Hijackals want to recreate their trauma from a position of control
  • What part trauma-bonding plays in thinking you have chemistry with a toxic person
  • How #Hijackals depend on the chemistry to keep you hooked in a toxic relationship, a verbally abusive relationship
  • How misused chemistry can lead to emotional abuse


Chemistry may draw you back to a relationship of narcissistic abuse and emotional trauma. You may confuse it with love. It isn't love. Don't be fooled. Stop the trauma-bonding, too!


Big hugs!

Rhoberta


Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97


CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.


FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler


YOUTUBEhttps://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Circle. Save $24 on your first three months.

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#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

More Episodes

1/22/2021

Have ADHD? Why You Might Be An Unwitting Hijackal Magnet

Ep. 178
Toxic relationships are created when a partner exploits the vulnerabilities of the other. If you have ADHD tendencies, you may easily miss red flags as you pay attention to the charms, and are intrigued by the possibilities of the fake future they paint so readily. Fear and shame also play a part you need to recognize. Hijackals have a honed sense of recognition of vulnerabilities. They are on high alert, looking for these to use to their advantage. You can be the most successful person and they'll see you as a challenge. Not good, at all! Diann Wingert shares her insights and studies to help us understand why people with ADHD may not see toxic relationships clearly, and stay too long even though they are experiencing emotional abuse. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:How ADHD affects your ability to see red flags when you meet someone newTraits women with ADHD have that makes them more susceptible to toxic relationshipsWhy intuition sometimes fails to discern patterns of manipulation when ADHD is presentWhy verbal abuse and emotional abuse are sometimes not enough to make someone with ADHD leave a narcissistReasons that people with ADHD fail to leave toxic relationships and to recognize emotional trauma GUEST: DIANN WINGERTDiann Wingert is a mindset and productivity coach for female entrepreneurs who identify with the traits of ADHD, officially diagnosed or not. During her 20-year career as a licensed psychotherapist, Diann saw many brilliant and ambitious women struggle with unidentified ADHD, including Diann herself. Since her own mid-life diagnosis, she now mentors women who are “driven but distracted” to get focused and overcome procrastination, perfectionism, and people-pleasing so they can craft a life and business they love. Diann offers both individual and small group virtual coaching and mentoring to women all over the world. She is a dynamic podcast guest on the topics of ADHD in high ability women, the mental health challenges of entrepreneurship, self care for the self employed and how women can cultivate an entrepreneurial mindset. GIFT FOR YOU:Wow! Diann is offering you three things at NO cost: 6 Steps to ADHD Mastery, The Driven Woman's Roadmap and the ADHD Signature Strengths Quiz. https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/free-stuffCONNECT WITH DIANN WINGERT :WEBSITE:https://www.diannewingertcoaching.comPODCAST:The Driven Woman https://www.diannwingertcoaching.com/podcastFACEBOOK:https://www.facebook.com/diannwingertcoachingYOUTUBE:INSTAGRAM:https://www.instagram.com/coachdiannwingert/LINKEDIN:https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannwingertcoaching/TWITTER:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler?We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Relationship Help Support Circles----------------------------------------------------------------------#toxicshame #adhd #add #attentiondeficitdisorder #attentiondeficityhyperactivitydisorder #whyadhdcausesmetomiss #impulsivitywithadd #missingredflags #diannwingert #thedrivenwoman #adhdcoachforfemaleentrepreneurs #femaleentrepreneurswithadhd #diannwingertcoaching #ihaveadhd #adhdandtoxicrelationships #passiveaggressive#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma
1/19/2021

Why Not To Believe The Promise Of Change From A Narcissist - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Ep. 177
People with narcissistic tendencies and traits want to have their way, and want you to do their bidding. If they really, really, really want something, or, if they are really, really, really afraid of losing something, they sometimes promise to change. How many promises has a narcissist--a narcissistic #Hijackal--made to you about changing behaviors? How many of those promises were kept? Right! Not many. Oh, yes, maybe for a hot minute things improved. That is usually to get you to believe that they sincerely mean what they say. The proof, though, is in the long-term, sustained changes. How many of those changes did you see? Learning more about why change isn't sustained is important. BUT, it doesn't excuse it. Save yourself from further emotional abuse. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why admitting a mistake is so difficult for a #narcissist, a #Hijackal5 reasons #narcissists will give you the impression they are going to changeWhy #narcissists seldom change and narcissistic abuse prevails Why you get your hopes up when a #Hijackal changes even a little more to the positiveWhy toxic relationships stay the sameHow promising to change and not doing it contributes to emotional abuse Narcissists are abusive. Their very real fear of closeness gives them little ability or willingness to move in your direction. Promising to change but never actually changing is one way this shows up. See it clearly, even when hope tries to get in your way. You and your children need to be in healthy environments where there is no verbal abuse, no emotional abuse, and no other kind of abuse, either. Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and supportfrom me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler?We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Support Circle.Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#whynottobelieveanarcissist #promisesofnarcissists #alwaysbelievebehavior #narcissistsseldomchange #dontgetyourhopesup #canIbelieveanarcissistspromises #believinganarcissist #believeanarcissist #promisestochange #narcissistpromisestochange #saveyourselffromabuse #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest
1/5/2021

The Endless, Exhausting Competitiveness of Hijackals in Toxic Relationships

Ep. 175
Constant emotional competition is exhausting. Most people only do it in one or two small areas of life. When you have a Hijackal parent or partner, it is a daily occurrence--even minute-to-minute--in large and tiny ways. Some ways, you may not even recognize. Listen to learn ten tips to help you emotionally disengage!That's the first, and maybe most important, step! #Hijackals turn every relationship into a competition. Even things you would not imagine they would find a need to win in, they will! Sad. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why #Hijackals feel the need to compete in relationshipsHow something you think couldn't possibly matter gets turned into a battle with a #HijackalWhy knowing Hijackals have fragile ego is no reason to coddle themWhy Hijackals NEED to break you, and feel gratified in doing so10 internal tips for starting to disengage from the competition you don't wantA very important thing to remember if you have a #Hijackal partner, parent, sibling, friend, or co-worker: You didn't break them: You cannot fix them. It's not your job. (Hint: all the love, patience, struggle, acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, or willingness will not cause them to change. Got it? Good!) Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler?We can talk:Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE:https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST:http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK:https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER:https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN:https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM:https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST:https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerYOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If youwant to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships, join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now.Dr. Shaler's Support Circle.Save $24 on your first three months. ----------------------------------------------------------------------#narcissistscompete #competitionwithnarcissists #whyiseverythingacompetition #hijackalsarecompetitive #narcissistsarecompetitive#relationshipcompetition #competitioninrelationship #competitiveparents #competitivepartners #toxiccompetition #competitionintoxicrelationships #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest