Growing Through Grief


Gang Raped: Healing From the Pitch Black Closet

Ep. 9

Losing the love of his life 11 days after their 42nd wedding anniversary left Jay without ground under him. And although it wasn't an unexpected death, they did a lot of healing together and lived intensely in love all those years; Jay was saved by the tools he acquired from dealing with the grief of traumatic experiences in his childhood and early adult life. 

Jay Westbrook is a Clinical Director at Compassionate Journey, an End-of-Life Clinical and Education Service. Jay is a multiple-award winner Clinician and Speaker, Visiting Faculty Scholar at Harvard Medical School, and a specialist in End-of-Life care & education. He holds an M.S in Gerontology and a Nursing diploma from the University of Southern California. In addition, he is an advanced Grief Recovery Specialist, and he works with mature adults alcoholic/addicts to find and maintain sobriety and recovery.

In this episode, Jay shared countless nuggets of wisdom from his grief recovery journey, from victim to survivor, to thriver. We talked about the traumatic experiences that marked him and what he got from them, and how he recovered from the massive scars they left. Jay also talked about compassion, forgiveness, the allegedly healing properties of time, and the importance of learning to lose things. 

Tune in and listen to episode 9 of Growing Through Grief, buckle up, and get ready to capture some of Jay's massive and kind wisdom.

Some Questions I Ask:

  • You say there is no separation between the loss we experience as a child versus the loss we experience as an adult. Does it sort of activate the pain from the past? (4:46)
  • You mentioned that you had to do some massive work to heal the pain of gang rape and being beaten. Can you share with us what that work looks like for you? (26:06)
  • What do you mean when you talk about self-compassion? (35:18)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • Two of Jay's most significant grief experiences (3:24)
  • The role of time in our healing process and in grief recovery (5:36)
  • A small price to pay for a long life love affair (8:29)
  • The intangible losses that people don't associate with grief (14:23)
  • The different paths of healing from rape (25:49)
  • Three steps of Jay's massive work on healing himself (26:21)


Connect with Jay:

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