Finding You: with Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses how therapy first starts with the base: the nervous system we "inherited" from our parents. He explains that until the base (think of soil) is established, skills, tools and insights will be fleeting. He also explains that the biggest barrier for many people is how slow therapy proceeds. It takes a long time with repeated exposure to an adequate therapist to build a stable foundation where new thoughts, new ideas, and new behaviors (think seeds) can more easily become embodied (think fruit of the new growth).

Dr. Reedy discusses roles, tasks, & responsibilities of those left behind when a loved-one seeks treatment. He discusses the systemic view of mental health and how the symptom bearer is a signal, which if listened to, will offer the family insight into the larger project, the deeper issue, and the legacy of trauma passed from one generation through another until someone gets help. He addresses when people go "no contact" and how to respond in ways that do no replicate the original wound.

Dr. Reedy discusses the psychology of communication skills and sharing our feelings. In this episode, he talks about when sharing our feelings is part of the problem. he explains that we can be discerning about who we share with to better ensure that our feelings will be heard and held by another person. he also explains that "I feel" statement may be best understood as a tool for greater awareness in ourselves and often people use them to try to change the behaviors of others.

Dr. Reedy explores what it truly means to love another person as they are — to "love Other as Other." He reflects on how genuine understanding of others begins with a willingness to look honestly at ourselves. Examining traits associated with the Autism Spectrum, he reveals how many of us share more of these qualities than we might expect. Dr. Reedy then invites listeners to "pan out" — drawing on personal and cultural history — to suspend judgment and encounter others, and themselves, with fresh eyes.

This Ask Me Anything episode, usually reserved for the Inner-Circle subscribers, is open the public as a sneak peak of what you will get by subscribing to the Inner Circle audience. Dr. Reedy takes questions from the Inner Circle and from the live audience on questions about developing a daily practice to stay conscious and aware of our issues. He talks about how the grief of losing connections with people we are close to as we grow and progress is a necessary part of the heroic journey, of the process of individuation. He explains that the peace we seek is found when we learn to love and accept ourselves (our “horrible, rotten self”) just as we are. He explains that this acceptance of who we are is , paradoxically, the catalyst for growth and change.

Dr. Reedy explains how not knowing is perhaps the end result of our education. He talks about how humility is confidence and how grandiosity is a cover for strong feelings of inferiority and insecurity. Brad shares that dealing with ambiguity is our chief task and that our mental health will largely hinge on our ability to sit with the uncertainty of life. He explains that our need to reduce the world to simple binaries – good and bad, right and wrong, us and them – is rooted in feelings of trauma and overwhelm.