AuDHD Podcast for grownups: F Them Fish!

Why can a positive change you planned and genuinely wanted leave you dysregulated, exhausted, and desperate to get back to normal?In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, your neurodivergent besties Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton unpack why late-diagnosed adults crave novelty and freedom but desperately rely on structure, systems, and predictable anchor points to prevent neurodivergent burnout.After a side quest involving a kangaroo collision, a battered Mazda, and a fancy stay at the Sofitel Melbourne, Callie and Jayne respond to a listener question from an AuDHDer whose daily structure was disrupted by several weeks of house guests.They explore why being highly organised is less about productivity and more about protecting nervous-system capacity, memory, energy, and sensory regulation. Hear how to navigate ADHD and autism routine disruption, set clear boundaries, and create low-effort anchor points without trying to rebuild everything while you are already overwhelmed.This podcast was created on the traditional lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples. We pay our respects to Elders past, present, and emerging. In This Episode:Why positive change can still trigger intense autistic and ADHD overwhelmHow routines act as essential scaffolding for memory and sensory regulationWhy capable-looking AuDHD adults may be hanging on by a threadOvercoming the shame of wanting visitors, holidays, or disruptions to endThe physical cost of masking and the need for safe places to resetHow to design flexible, temporary routines around your current energy levelsUsing clear communication and shared plans with family or house guestsLow-effort, stabilizing habits rather than trying to fix everything at onceWhy checking your basic physiological needs (food, water, rest, movement) must come firstAllowing yourself intentional, guilt-free recovery time when normal life finally returns Timestamps 00:00 – Neurodivergent travel stories with an unexpected American sidequest06:17 – Two weeks off routine and the immediate impact of losing daily structure09:52 – The kangaroo collision and arriving at a luxury hotel with half a car23:15 – Listener Q&A: Why do planned, positive changes slowly trigger autistic overwhelm?30:43 – When being highly organized is actually vital nervous-system support34:00 – Late-diagnosed AuDHD masking: Dropping unrealistic, unsustainable standards to prevent burnout36:36 – Brain scaffolding, using routines as systems for memory, energy, and sensory regulation38:37 – How to build temporary, low-demand routines when your capacity drops42:55 – Boundary setting: Protecting your peace and creating shared expectations with house guests45:34 – Micro-anchors - stabilizing, low-effort anchor points to reduce daily overwhelm48:02 – The nervous system pyramid: checking basic physical needs first49:33 – Giving yourself permission to rest when life finally returns to normal51:54 – The ultimate paradox: How AuDHD adults navigate the constant tug-of-war between needing novelty and needing structure Connect With UsWatch & Follow: Find us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok at @FThemFishGet In Touch: Send your stories, listener questions, ADHD tax confessions, guest ideas, and feedback to fthemfish@gmail.comAuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish is an honest, funny podcast about ADHD, Autism, work, relationships, sensory overload, burnout, identity, late diagnosis, rest, overthinking, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis. Follow or subscribe on your favourite player so you never miss an episode, and please leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.This episode shares lived experiences and practical ideas for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not medical, clinical, or psychological advice.

What does neuroinclusive leadership actually look like, and can empathy, active listening, adaptability, and emotional intelligence be learned?In this solo deep dive, Jayne translates the findings from her Master of Leadership research into practical, plain-English lessons for leaders, workplaces, and neurodivergent employees.Hello, hello, and welcome to AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. We talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, sensory needs, identity, and all the messy bits in between. With Callie taking a well-earned break, Jayne hijacks the pod in full corporate boss-baddie mode to unpack her thesis, Empowering Neuroinclusivity: Exploring the Role of Leadership in Cultivating Neuroinclusive Workplace Culture. She explores why leadership is central, not incidental, to neuroinclusive workplaces, why empathy is a skill, and why inclusion requires much more than a quiet room or a one-off training day. (And yes, she would now like to be addressed as Master Jayne). In this episode, we talk about:The shift from treating neurodivergence as a deficit to recognizing cognitive diversity as an organizational strengthThe learnable skills behind neuroinclusive leadership, including empathy, active listening, emotional intelligence, and adaptabilityWhy intersectionality matters, and why support cannot focus on one part of a person in isolationHow language, communication, and growth mindset shape identity, safety, and belonging at workPhysical, social, and organisational environments, and why accommodations are only one piece of the puzzleMicroaggressions, allyship, accessible recruitment, and the risk of quietly filtering neurodivergent people outWhat is still missing from the research, including a clear leadership framework built around neuroinclusive practiceTimestamps 00:35 - Jayne hijacks the pod03:12 - The thesis and research questions06:35 - From medical deficit to organizational strength10:55 - Intersectionality: it is never just one thing15:19 - Language, identity, and empowerment20:32 - Physical, social, and organizational environments25:34 - What the research still does not tell us30:13 - The big takeaway: neuroinclusive leadership skills can be learned Disclaimer: This episode shares research interpretation and lived experience. It is not medical, therapeutic, or legal advice.Connect with us:Find us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish. Send us your questions, workplace stories, examples of leadership that made a real difference, or your latest ADHD taxes!Email us at: mailto:Fthemfish@gmail.comKeywords:Neuroinclusive leadership | AuDHD at work | neurodiversity in the workplace | ADHD leadership | autistic employees | workplace inclusion | psychological safety | reasonable adjustments | inclusive leadership

In this short podcast update, Callie explains why we are taking a week off, asks for listener feedback, and gives ADHD and AuDHD grownups permission to rest, be present, and do a little bit less.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Hello, hello, and welcome to AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. Where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me’. We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.This is not quite a full episode, besties. It is a short update from Callie, because we are taking a week off and, in true ADHD fashion, forgot to tell you.It is school holidays in Australia, the house is full of kids, Tech Guy is also taking some time off, and Callie is trying to be properly present with family. Because honestly, what is the point of working for yourself if you never let yourself use that flexibility?This update is also about rest, guilt, and the pressure to keep producing, even when your actual life needs you. Callie gives you official permission to do less, pause without earning it through total burnout, and stop being everything to everyone all the time.We also want your feedback. What do you want more of? What do you like? What is missing? What questions, ADHD tax stories, mortifying moments, overthinking spirals, or guest suggestions do you want to send us?Timestamps00:00 We are taking a week off00:55 School holidays, family time, and being present01:28 We want your feedback02:10 Send us your questions, stories, ADHD tax, and overthinking spirals03:10 Follow, subscribe, and help the algorithm03:49 Permission to do less04:41 You do not have to be everything to everyone05:01 Upcoming guests and what is coming next05:24 See you next week, bestiesThis short update includes Callie’s lived and professional perspective on rest, work, family, and doing less. It is not medical, psychological, or workplace advice.ConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok at F Them Fish AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories, questions, ADHD tax, guest ideas, and feedback to mailto:fthemfish@gmail.comAuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish is an honest, funny podcast about ADHD, Autism, work, relationships, sensory overload, burnout, identity, late diagnosis, rest, overthinking, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.Follow or subscribe so you do not miss an episode and leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.

Why can everyday noise feel impossible to ignore when you have AuDHD? In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups, your neurodivergent besties Callie and Jayne talk about noise sensitivity, unexpected change, justice sensitivity, and what happens when something affecting your nervous system sits firmly outside your control.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. Where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me’. We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears, and let’s get started.Jayne has new neighbours. They seem lovely, but they have also brought children, dogs, visitors, music, and considerably more noise into what was previously a very quiet neighbourhood. In this episode, Jayne asks Callie for some coaching advice about what to do when the sound around your home suddenly changes and your nervous system is having very big feelings about it. They talk about AuDHD noise sensitivity, sensory overload, and why home is an important place for recovery and regulation.Callie introduces the circles of control, influence, and concern as a way of thinking through situations that cannot immediately be changed. They discuss whether reframing your thoughts is genuinely helpful, or whether it can feel suspiciously like gaslighting yourself into pretending something is fine.Naturally, the conversation then wanders into fairness, ethical consumer choices, and the personal hills neurodivergent people are prepared to die on. This leads to a few unexpected realisations about justice sensitivity and why some things can feel not just annoying, but fundamentally wrong.In this episode:·        AuDHD and noise sensitivity·        Why some sounds are so difficult to ignore·        Sensory overload at home·        Why home is an important neurodivergent safe space·        Coping when you cannot remove yourself from the noise·        Balancing your sensory needs with other people’s needs·        The circles of control, influence, and concern·        Reframing negative thoughts without dismissing your feelings·        The difference between reframing and toxic positivity·        Feeling hyper-aware of your impact on other people·        Fairness, reciprocity, and resentment·        Neurodivergent justice sensitivity·        Ethical consumer choices and the hills we choose to die on·        How relationships and familiarity can help build empathyTimestamps00:00 Catching up with our besties01:54 Jayne's new neighbours06:51 Noise, boundaries, and competing needs08:47 Sensory sensitivity and accepting what you cannot change11:40 Circles of control, influence, and concern13:22 Reframing16:42 Fairness, reciprocity, and being hyper-aware21:19 Ethical choices, personal values, and the things that stick24:25 Consumer power and voting with your money25:46 Justice sensitivity and the hills we will die on29:51 Queer Quail, Pride Month, and the NeuroQueer EngineersThis conversation is based on Callie and Jayne’s lived and professional experience with AHD and Autism. It is not medical or psychological advice, and neurodivergent people may experience noise, sensory processing, emotional regulation, and justice sensitivity differently.ConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTokSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.Follow or subscribe so you do not miss an episode, and leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.

Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. This is the podcast where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me.’ We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears and let’s get started!In this episode, Callie sits down with Twice-Exceptional PB - 11 year-old host of the popular podcast: 'PB's Productions, My ADHD Kids Podcast', that she started when she was only 8 years old!. PB has a lot of insights to share about what it really means to be a kid with ADHD. She talks with an incredible poise and emotional intelligence that most adults would be proud of. There are multiple moments that will make you stop and think a little deeper about the young people in your life, whether you're a parent, teacher, or favourite Aunty. The episode keeps coming back to adults assuming they know, not asking what kids need, and mistaking ADHD challenges for intentional misbehaviour. In a world full of adults explaining ADHD kids, this episode lets an ADHD kid explain it herself. Share this episode with the ADHD kids you know and ask them if they agree, or what they might say differently. And more importantly, share it with any adults who need to hear it. "Try, be you, be kind, and bloom like that sunflower. Bloom bright... Just try, believe in yourself, because you are amazing." PBTimestamps00:15 – Meet PB, ADHD kid podcaster02:05 – “I have a more advanced brain” PB introduces herself as a kid with ADHD, big thoughts, humour and a grown-up way of seeing things.02:44 – If your ADHD brain had a theme song08:19 – PB describes her brain in three words and explains what it is like when funny thoughts arrive at exactly the wrong moment.09:54 – Why PB started her own ADHD podcast and why kids need to hear from other kids, not only adults talking about them.13:56 – ADHD explained by an actual ADHD kid.15:11 – What adults get wrong about ADHD kids17:30 – “I don’t believe you” and “you did it on purpose” two things she wishes adults would stop saying to ADHD kids.19:00 – What is actually cool about ADHD21:07 – ADHD brain control panel24:02 – The ultimate ADHD gadget27:18 – Rapid-fire ADHD would-you-rathers28:58 – The question adults should ask more often “What do you need?” and why that matters.31:18 – The question PB is sick of adults asking and what adults might miss when they judge attention from the outside.34:47 – What to say to ADHD kids who feel too much - a beautiful answer about being the perfect amount for yourself and blooming in your own way.36:40 – ADHD is not about trying harder37:38 – Bloom bright like a sunflower.38:02 – Where to find PB’s podcastConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Ngambri, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples. Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land.

What is adult PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), and what does neurodivergent demand paralysis feel like from the inside? In this episode of F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups, your neurodivergent besties Callie and Jayne dive deep into the PDA cycle, burnout, and why everyday tasks can trigger a nervous system shutdown.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. Where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me’. We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears, and let’s get started.PDA gets discussed constantly online, but it is often reduced to ‘not liking being told what to do’. In this episode, Callie and Jayne dig underneath that explanation. They look at what PDA feels like from the inside and what current research can and cannot tell us.Callie walks through a proposed PDA cycle, from detecting a demand through to the nervous system’s appraisal of effort, uncertainty, safety, sensory discomfort, autonomy, and available capacity. They also discuss why avoidance can provide enough immediate relief to reinforce the pattern, even when it creates more distress later. They explore practical ways to reduce friction, including recognising personal triggers, creating safer sensory conditions, increasing clarity and certainty, protecting capacity, and resisting the idea that every struggle can be fixed by applying more pressure.In this episode:PDA burnout and executive dysfunction in adultsHow to manage PDA paralysisAuDHD (Autism and ADHD) and demand avoidanceDifficult school mornings, parenting guilt, and repairing after things go badlyPDA in everyday lifePathological demand avoidance versus pervasive drive for autonomyWhat science currently knows, and does not know, about PDAWhy PDA is more complicated than anxiety, defiance, or simply disliking demandsHow demands may be assessed for effort, uncertainty, sensory discomfort, safety, and loss of controlThe relationship between stress, executive functioning, and PDA paralysisHow avoidance can reinforce future avoidanceIdentifying triggers and creating more supportive sensory and environmental conditionsSimilarities and differences between PDA and ODDTimestamps00:00 A difficult morning, parenting guilt, and trying to repair10:55 Overwhelm and a real-life PDA segue19:11 PDA explained: pathological demand avoidance and pervasive drive for autonomy25:13 What research can, and cannot, currently tell us about PDA31:06 The PDA cycle: demands, appraisal, stress, and reduced executive access40:30 PDA paralysis, chronic illness, limited capacity, and shame44:49 Why avoidance can temporarily help and reinforce the cycle49:14 What might help: triggers, sensory needs, certainty, and supportive conditions57:07 Why PDA changes with context, safety, capacity, and sensory load01:01:19 PDA versus ODD: similarities, differences, and why neither is a choicePDA remains a developing and contested area. This conversation combines available research discussed during recording with Callie and Jayne’s lived and professional experience. It is not medical advice, and people may understand or describe their experiences differently.ConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.Follow or subscribe so you do not miss an episode, and leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.