Share

F them fish! AuDHD for grownups
Ep. 46 Is Beth Really Dead?
This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.
Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. This is the podcast where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me.’ We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.
Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears and let's get started!
In this week's episode, Callie and Jayne deep dive the podcast phenomenon 'Beth's Dead' - a limited series true crime podcast, all about parasocial relationships gone wrong.
More importantly, why is this relevant to neurodivergence? We will tell you with the help of some of our listener questions.
00:00 – Producer Callie says Hi
00:50 – Intro
04:33 – Last week’s homework and why Beth’s Dead got assigned
07:29 – What Beth’s Dead is about, plus spoiler warning
08:45 – Full recap of the podcast setup and the Beth storyline
12:18 – What a parasocial relationship actually is
14:20 – Beth was never real
15:04 – First reactions: gripping story or obvious manipulation?
15:55 – Boundaries, emotional emails, and where podcast hosts can get out of their depth
17:14 – The investigation: IP addresses, the professor theory, and the big phone call
19:36 – Callie’s theory: this never happened
21:41 – Jayne’s hesitation, the real expert moment, and why she’s less certain
23:42 – Why Callie still thinks key parts do not ring true
26:52 – Does it actually matter if the story was real, if it was well told?
27:53 – Listener question: when does a parasocial relationship stop being comforting and start being bad for your brain?
33:10 – Listener question: are neurodivergent people more vulnerable to intense online dynamics?
42:38 – Listener conspiracy theory corner
44:19 – Why this whole thing matters for neurodivergence
44:47 – Curiosity, needing receipts, and getting kicked out of class for too many questions
45:45 – Wrap-up, contact details, and next episode tease
https://www.patreon.com/cw/BethsDead - listen to Beth's Dead
https://www.instagram.com/nobodyslisteningright/ - follow Elizabeth and Any on Instagram - tell them we sent you (they won't have a clue who we are!)
https://www.instagram.com/armchairexppod/ - follow Monica Padman's podcast
Find us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups
Send your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.com
AuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.
AuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.
More episodes
View all episodes

47. Ep. 47 Should You Quit Your Job to Become an ADHD Entrepreneur?
01:00:50||Season 2, Ep. 47This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. This is the podcast where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me.’ We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears and let’s get started!What happens when you leave a secure job, build a business around the work you actually care about, and then realise the workplace structure that used to hold you up is gone?This week, Jayne flips the script and interviews Callie about what it’s really like to become a neurodivergent entrepreneur. They talk about the hidden executive functioning cost of working for yourself, why client work gets done while the business-building stuff gets pushed aside, and the strategies Callie is using to stay afloat, including separating what’s critical from what’s merely important, celebrating small wins, and creating somewhere to put the side quests. Timestamps:00:00 Intro03:43 Jayne’s eye emergency and medical dismissal09:39 Neurodivergence, healthcare bias, and the medical passport idea14:11 Productive recovery weekend, and the floordrobe clean-out17:14 TEDx news and neurodivergence in aged care20:02 Should you leave your job to become an entrepreneur?20:53 Why Callie left a secure government role23:00 The real challenge of working for yourself25:06 Why workplace structure matters more than you think27:30 Client work vs business-building29:06 Are ADHDers more suited to entrepreneurship?30:32 Mask switching, family life, and the pressure of doing everything yourself33:24 School holidays34:22 Things that used to work but don’t anymore42:58 Strategies that are helping now51:08 Why it was still worth it59:08 Wrap-upIf you’re an AuDHD or ADHD adult wondering whether to leave your job, build something of your own, or just trying to understand why everything feels harder without external structure, this one is for you.Got a question, story or hot take? Email us at fthemfish@gmail.com.Find us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.
45. Ep. 45 Efficient, Effective, Enough?
39:23||Season 2, Ep. 45This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.This week starts with Easter camping, mini golf, belly dancing, faffing, and a genuinely cursed run-in with paralysis ticks… then gets unexpectedly deep. Jayne shares a powerful realisation about the idea of being “enough” after years of feeling either too much or not enough, and together we unpack masking, self-worth, fibro fog, apologising for existing, and what it means to be the right amount of you.Then Callie goes full truth-bomb on the neurodivergent drive for efficiency, why inefficiency can feel physically painful, and how leaving traditional work has exposed just how much executive function can be quietly held up by workplace structure. If you’ve ever looked high-functioning on the outside while privately relying on guard rails to keep life moving, this episode will probably hit a nerve. In a good way. Also, yes, there is a side quest about pink flip phones.Timestamps00:10 Welcome00:48 Belly dance teacher era, camping, and post-holiday faffing03:30 Paralysis ticks, dog panic, and Australia's hostile wildlife07:31 Fibro flare-ups and the first big question: what does 'enough' even mean?10:32 Why 'enough' is a social construct built around masking16:02 Fibro fog, apologising for your brain and body, and self-protection17:36 The perfect amount of Jayne, the perfect amount of Callie, and flexible authenticity22:49 The relentless itch for efficiency and why inefficiency feels painful29:07 Pink Motorola flip phones and the chaos of changing systems31:37 Leaving structured work and suddenly confronting executive function failures37:29 Homework: go binge Beth’s Dead before next weekGet in touchGot a question, story, or hot take for the pod? Email us at fthemfish@gmail.comFind us on socials @fthemfish_AuDHDforgrownups
44. Ep. 44 It's Serving ADHD Tax, Accidental Sexts and the Yearning Lifestyle
38:15||Season 2, Ep. 44This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.This week is pure listener-chaos in the best possible way. We asked for your stories and you absolutely delivered. We’re talking panic-bought concert tickets, masking too hard on first dates, accidentally sending a spicy text to the wrong person, rejection sensitivity turning a delayed reply into a full cheating scandal, and the very specific experience of wanting someone right up until they like you back. We also get briefly obsessed with Miranda Hart, blow bubbles for World Bipolar Day, and once again prove that this podcast is excellent body-doubling audio for laundry, dishes, or whatever life admin you’ve been avoiding. Questionable advice, strong opinions, and a lot of feeling very seen. Timestamps00:01 Intro01:02 Jayne’s new favourite book: Miranda Hart and feeling deeply seen06:05 Bubbles for World Bipolar Day08:14 We get into your listener questions09:55 ADHD tax: panic-bought concert tickets and a man who now breathes too loudly15:01 Masking on first dates and when the truth is actually 14 half-finished moisturisers18:47 Weird-smelling water bottles, crying, and an accidental detour into hygiene standards20:35 The spicy text sent to the wrong person from school pick-up22:31 Rejection sensitivity, delayed replies, Bunnings, and the imaginary second family with a yacht29:02 Why some of us love people until they like us back36:12 Bonus ear filler and elite body-doubling content36:59 Send us your stories and questions for future episodesConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok @ FThem Fish_AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.
43. What You Can’t See: Trauma, Survival and Finding Your Voice with Jacinta Dubojski
01:05:18||Season 2, Ep. 43This episode comes with a content warning.We talk about family violence, abusive relationships, trauma, bullying, anxiety, depression, CPTSD, psychiatric hospitalisation, and some pretty heavy mental health stuff. So if this is not for you today, save it for a day when you’ve got a few more spoons.Today it’s just me, no Jayne, and I’m joined by Jacinta Dubojski from Just Another Girl.This is a different kind of conversation.Jacinta is someone a lot of people would probably look at and make assumptions about. Tall, beautiful, polished, put together. And that is exactly part of why this conversation matters. Because people do that all the time. They look at someone and decide their life must have been easy.It wasn’t.We talk about bullying, low self-worth, abusive relationships, trauma, what it does to your brain and body, and what it takes to keep going when life has absolutely kicked the sh*t out of you.Jacinta also talks about the work she now does with girls in schools through Just Another Girl, and why speaking up can genuinely change, and sometimes save, lives.This one is raw. It wanders a bit in places. It gets heavy. It also has hope in it.And the reason it belongs on this podcast is because neurodivergent people are more vulnerable to abusive relationships, family violence, coercion and other forms of harm than a lot of people realise. We do not talk about that enough.If this one hits close to home, please check the support links below. And if you need to, send this episode to someone and just say, I need to talk.Timestamps00:00 Content warning02:42 Intro and meeting Jacinta04:10 Jacinta on her work, motherhood, trauma and why she shares her story09:10 Modelling, bullying, appearance and being judged on the outside18:28 How Just Another Girl started21:44 Being bullied at school and not telling anyone24:30 Domestic violence, trauma and feeling trapped32:44 If this is your story too36:31 Speaking in schools and trying to change lives early39:18 Social media, girls, and protecting the next generation42:48 What Jacinta would say to her younger self47:49 Proof that things can get better51:38 Reaching out when you’re struggling58:46 Where to find Jacinta59:47 Why this matters for neurodivergent people too1:03:27 Final support message and wrap upFind us on Youtube, Instagram and TikTok @FThemFish_AuDHDForGrownupsEmail: Fthemfish@gmail.comFind JacintaJust Another Girl ProjectInstagram: @just.anothergirl_SupportIf this episode brings stuff up for you, please reach out for support.www.MindSpot.org.auLifeline 13 11 141800RESPECT
42. The 2026 Inaugurable ndWILD Neuroinclusion Awards!
30:22||Ep. 42The ndWILD Co-Founders: Callie, Jayne, and Troy announce the first ever winners of the WILDly Neuroinclusive Awards LIVE in the following 5 categories:1) WILDly Neuroinclusive Organisation: Recognises an organisation that has moved from awareness to structural action, changing how their systems, processes, or culture works for neurodivergent people.2) WILDly Neuroinclusive Individual: Recognises a person who makes inclusion real for others through their daily actions, leadership, or advocacy, not just their identity3) WILDly Neuroinclusive Event or Venue: Recognises a space or event that proved belonging doesn't have to be designed out, it can be designed in, for every kind of brain.4) WILD Community Impact Award: Recognises work that reaches beyond a single workplace into communities, schools, or the public, making neurodiversity visible in the wider world.5) WILD Change Maker: Recognises the biggest shift created in the last 6 months by a person, project, or team. This is about momentum, something moved because of them.Tell us what you think: hello@ndwildglobal.org and tell us who you think should be in the running for the 2027 WILDly Neuroinclusive Awards!Follow us on Youtube, Instagram and Tiktok @ndWILDGlobal
41. Ep. 41 Awareness is Cute. Inclusion is Better
34:40||Season 2, Ep. 41Neurodiversity is bigger than autism and ADHD, and awareness alone is not the same thing as inclusion.In this episode, Callie and Jayne kick off Neurodiversity Celebration Week 2026 by unpacking what neurodiversity actually means, why it is a social identity rather than a medical label, and why so many workplace conversations still flatten it into stereotypes, checklists, and entry-level training.They talk about the problem with ‘autism and others’ thinking, why resist the list matters, and what happens when organisations say all the right things but their systems, culture, and leadership behaviours do not actually change.They also answer a listener question about the difference between awareness and real inclusion in practice, exploring microaggressions, assigning intent, conflicting needs between neurodivergent people, and how to tell whether a workplace is genuinely trying to improve.This one is part celebration, part side-eye, and part practical reality check.In this episodewhat neurodiversity actually meanswhy it is bigger than autism and ADHDwhy awareness without systems change falls flatresist the list: the problem with stereotypes and trait checklistshow to tell whether a workplace is truly inclusivemicroaggressions, intent, repair, and real progressa quick look at the WILDly Neuro-inclusive Awards Timestamps00:11 Welcome and Neurodiversity Celebration Week begins01:40 What this episode is really about: awareness vs inclusion02:03 Neurodiversity is bigger than autism and ADHD02:42 Neurodiversity as a social identity, not a medical term05:24 Why the numbers are likely bigger than reported05:53 DCA and AMAZE’s Neurodiversity at Work Guide08:08 Diagnosis, identity, and barriers to being recognised08:46 The problem with ‘autism and others’ training10:04 Resist the List and why stereotypes are harmful11:24 Why entry-level training misses too many neurodivergent adults12:39 Perimenopause, nervous systems, and the broader neurodiversity conversation17:22 Listener question: awareness vs real inclusion at work19:24 Why systems, processes, and leadership matter21:22 What happens when neurodivergent needs clash22:34 Pain, perfection, and the pressure for workplaces to get it right23:48 Assigning intent and stepping back from the moment24:24 Microaggressions, trauma lenses, and ‘micro receivings’25:42 Don’t let perfection get in the way of progress26:01 What genuine effort actually looks like27:37 Acknowledging mistakes, correcting, and moving on29:47 Launching the WILDly Neuro-inclusive Awards31:22 Hope, frustration, and the future of neuroinclusion32:35 Follow, subscribe, and send us your ADHD tax storiesConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.com
40. Ep. 40 Out of Sight, Out of Mind, Out of Spoons
48:54||Season 2, Ep. 40In this episode of F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups, Callie and Jayne talk about the strange joy of organising when your brain is finally in the mood for it, and why 'out of sight, out of mind' is not always an ADHD tax. Sometimes it is an ADHD bonus.They unpack the emotional lift that comes from sorting cupboards, rediscovering forgotten treasures, and building systems that actually work for the way neurodivergent people live. From colour-coded towels and linen hacks to craft supplies, fabric finds, and childhood memories, this episode is equal parts practical, funny, and deeply familiar.They also respond to a listener question about rejection sensitivity and bosses, exploring how much of workplace discomfort is about perception, how much might be a real shift, and why the relationship with your immediate manager can shape your whole experience at work. That conversation opens into a bigger reflection on leadership, vulnerability, responsibility, and the loneliness that can come with being the person expected to hold it all together.To close, Callie shares a brand-new poem inspired by spoon theory, written in a hyperfocus burst and read aloud for the first time on the podcast. It is tender, sharp, funny, and likely to hit home for anyone who has ever been told they were inconsistent when really they were just running low on spoons.Timestamps00:11 Welcome back and chaotic bestie energy01:49 Post-Sydney crash and the need to recover02:38 ADHD bonus: organising the linen cupboard04:46 Linen and quilt set hack: store sets inside a pillowcase05:27 Why organisation brings joy when the timing is right06:10 Designing homes and systems around how people actually live07:17 Guest linen standards, stained sheets, and household rules09:18 Offering tea, sandwiches, and emotional support to everyone10:21 Cleaners as support, not luxury11:24 Back to the cupboard: forgotten fabric and the ADHD memory bonus14:11 Jayne’s craft reorganisation and rediscovering treasured fabrics15:57 Buttons, pendants, sewing memories, and childhood signs no one spotted18:50 Surprise podcast stickers and octopus merch joy19:50 Love Hearts, nostalgia, and disappointing lolly messages21:46 Listener question: how do I handle RSD with my boss?23:42 Why your relationship with your manager matters so much24:53 Perception, assigning intention, and scripting hard conversations26:27 Looking at your boss with empathy without losing yourself29:35 Leadership can be lonely31:13 Boundaries, vulnerability, and leading as a human33:10 What leaders owe people in moments of uncertainty35:41 Why people look for someone who can hold the line38:57 Creating the authorising environment for others to thrive39:28 The emotional weight leaders carry behind the scenes40:12 Hyperfocus, songwriting, and the origin of the spoon poem42:05 Callie reads I’m Out of Spoons45:47 Jayne responds: “I feel seen”47:08 Where the poem might live next on socials47:41 Wrap-up and goodbyeConnect with usFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish AuDHD for GrownupsSend questions, stories, poetry, songs, or kind thoughts to FThemFish@gmail.com
39. Ep. 39 Rejection Sensitivity and the 'Not Enough' Intersection
39:27||Season 2, Ep. 39Welcome back to another episode of F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grown-ups. After a whirlwind week at Sydney Mardi Gras, Callie and Jayne are back on the mics, feeling a little wrecked but ready to decompress. From the adrenaline of dancing up Oxford Street to the physical and emotional hangover that follows a massive neurodivergent project, this episode dives deep into the post-event blues.We’re getting vulnerable about rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), the sting of unsolicited opinions, and what happens when you feel like you’re sitting at the intersection of not being neurodivergent, queer, or disabled enough.In This Episode:Mardi Gras Post-Mortem: The highs of performing for 300,000 people (move over, Taylor Swift) and the fatigue that followsBeing Rejected: Jayne shares a painful moment of perceived rejection from the crowd and how RSD can hijack a celebrationAccessibility Fails: A look at what went wrong behind the scenes, from the removal of wheelchair ramps to the lack of support for disabled marchers.The ‘Not Enough’ Trap: Callie opens up about the struggle of feeling not gay enough, not AuDHD enough, or not disabled enough while occupying those spaces.Navigating Online Criticism: How to handle the gatekeepers on social media who try to police how we talk about our own neurodivergence.Parenting & Music: Answering a listener's question about bonding with a baby in utero through music Neuro-Inclusion Guide: Check out the resources at ndwild.org/inclusion which saw a 1700% increase in traffic following the march!Got a curly question or a scandalous AuDHD tax story to share? We want to hear it!Email: fthemfish@gmail.comInstagram: @fthemfish_audhdforgrownups Chapters00:00 Introduction: Callie and Jayne check in on their current energy levels (feeling knackered and like total goblins).01:10 Post-Mardi Gras Reflections: The emotional and physical crash following Sydney Mardi Gras, moving from high-adrenaline performance to post-event exhaustion.03:10 The Physical Toll of Oxford Street: A look at the physical demands of the parade, including DJ BJ pulling a heavy music cart and Callie’s unexpected sciatica injury.05:53 Rejection Sensitivity (RSD) at the Parade: Jayne shares a vulnerable story about interacting with a crowd member that triggered a deep spiral of rejection sensitivity.10:38 Navigating Public Perception and Not Enough-ness: Exploring intersectionality and feeling judged in public spaces.15:37 Performance: Callie masks through physical pain during the parade and the internal struggle of maintaining a public face while suffering.18:30 Accessibility Fails and Advocacy: A critical look at the removal of accessibility supports during the event and the impact on disabled participants.26:14 Online Criticism Callie recounts a recent experience on LinkedIn and why it is important to lead with kindness rather than policing language.32:15 Listener Q&A: Parenting, Music, and Belly Raspberries We answer a listener's question about bonding with a baby in utero through music38:43 Outro