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Chart Music: the Top Of The Pops Podcast
#69: December 27th 1974 – The Ramadan #1 Of 1974
The latest episode of the podcast which asks; have any of Team Chart Music done a streak?
It’s late January, but the inflatable Jimmy Savile-as-Santa is still hanging off the roof of the Chart Music house and the wreath that looks like DLT still hangs on the door as we prepare to tuck into another end-of-year splurge of Pop, as our favourite Thursday evening pop treat gets shunted to a Friday teatime and another Selection Box of the hits of the year gets ripped into.
‘Tis the arse-end of 1974, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, and a definitely end-of-era feel hangs over this episode. Glam is in its last knockings, the teenybop icons are starting to fade, the brickies in Eyeliner are just brickies now, Mock n’ Roll is in the ascendancy, the Pop Famine of 1975/6 is beckoning, and although there’s much to love here, this could well be the very last episode of the Golden Age of Top Of The Pops. Noel Edmonds and Dave Lee Travis are on hand to take us through the smash hits of the year that weren’t introduced by Tony Blackburn and Jinglenonce OBE on Xmas Day, and are fucking unbearable.
Musicwise, like all end-of-year shows, it’s your typical running-away-from-a-crocodile episode. The Rubettes pitch up for a victory lap with a flashing bow tie. John Denver goes on about his missus again, before he takes a chainsaw to their bed. Alvin displays the most amazing standwork ever on TOTP if you discount Brian Connolly breaking one over his knee, before George McCrae attempts to introduce the TOTP Orchestra to Disco as he stands over a leftover turkey carcass. Stephanie De Sykes represents the Kings Oak Massive, and then Sparks completely go off. The Glitter Band do a Nazi love gesture at Bad King Gary as he performs his great lost Number One. Sylvia tells a load of underaged Osmonds fans about how she got her end away in Spain this summer. Queen set down a marker for their dominance of the next few years. Ray Stevens fails to get his cock out. After Suzi Quatro says goodbye to the massive bluescreen, the most perfect #1 single EVER is desecrated by the TOTPO. Terry Jacks reminds us that he’s still dying, and we close with the Blokes Of Pop taking over and claiming dominance of the year, while Travis plays a Christmas Tree. So long, Early Seventies, you were MINT and SKILL and we’ll never see your like again.
Taylor Parkes and Rock Expert David Stubbs join Al Needham for a celebration of all things ’74, veering off on such tangents as blind West Ham left-backs, Noele Gordon’s musical career, five year-olds demanding to be let into sex shops, the era-defining genius of Yus My Dear, disturbing scenes at Wombles gigs, a re-imagining of Do They Know It’s Christmas written by Chinnichap, and the introduction of the parlour game that’s going to sweep the dinner parties of 2023 – Pantomime Horse. HAPPY NEW SWEARING, POP-CREAZED YOUNGSTERS…
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194. Chart Music #77: December 27th 1971: Six Tins Of Bachelors Peas
05:33:23||Season 1, Ep. 194The latest episode of the podcast which asks; Tango or Telstar?Yes, it’s that time of the year, Pop-Crazed Youngsters – we decide to do a Christmas episode, and then Christmas happens and gets in the way of everything, the bastard. Luckily, this episode – from Boxing Day – comes from a time when they did the festivities properly and didn’t hang it out like we do, so there’s very little in the way of tinsel and fake snow and turkey carcasses (and yes, it is Boxing Day, they did things differently then, don’t @ us). It’s from 1971, the Year Zero of the post-Beatle world, where a void suddenly opens and is immediately filled with an array of Sixties sorts who never got a look-in before and are making their grab for the big brass ring of Pop stardom. Tony Blackburn – the host of the Daily Mirror Hot Pants Ball himself – is at the controls in his belted-off cardie, and it’s safe to say that 1971 is his most Blackburny year ever. We take you through it, from the highs of debating the merits of wank mags with Lord Longford and having his own board game to the lows of having his photo ripped up by Bristol Prog bands and being stalked by the Heavy Music Brigade.Musicwise, it’s a fascinating trawl through the post-Mopfab landscape. Marc Bolan assumes his dominance in front of a floor manager who looks well Bullet Baxter. The Tams look like John Inman if he supported FC Barcelona. Benny Hill airs the Xmas #1 again. Slade take one massive stomp for a band, one giant leap for Glamkind. Pans People get out of quarantine and flounce about for Liverpool Jesus. The Stones ensure that every wedding do of the next 15 years will feature Dads dancing to one of the most brutal songs ever. Eight Ace and the Paedophile Information Exchange Horns celebrate their one hit for the last time on telly. We get to witness Diana Ross’s Armchair Thriller. And John Peel stares at the camera with a mandolin in his hands. Taylor Parkes and David Stubbs join Al Needham for a complete evisceration of the Sounds of ‘71, veering off on such tangents as the dangers of having a Raleigh Chopper in Leeds that was Flamboyant Green, a detailed breakdown of Tony Blackburn’s weekly shopping list, Britain’s Grooviest Granny, Rod Stewart’s Whole Lotta Rosie moment, and John, Paul, George or Ringo: who’s getting it first, lads? DO IT WHILE YOU’RE STILL YOUNG, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS! Video Playlist| Facebook | Twitter| Bluesky | The Chart Music Wiki | Patreon
193. #77 (Pt 4): 27.12.71 – Six Tins Of Batchelors Peas
01:34:35||Season 1, Ep. 193David Stubbs, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham reach the end of their journey through 1971 with the unsavoury sight of Ashton, Gardner and Dyke, before Diana Ross goes all Tales Of The Unexpected on us. The New Seekers – the shoulders that Guys and Dolls would stand upon – pitch up with their sanitised Hippy nonsense, and we finish with a kickabout with a garage football and John Peel on mandolin...Video Playlist| Facebook | Twitter| Bluesky | The Chart Music Wiki | Patreon
192. #77 (Pt 3): 27.12.71 – Six Tins Of Batchelors Peas
01:18:35||Season 1, Ep. 192Taylor Parkes, David Stubbs and Al Needham continue to gorge upon the selection box of 1971, and the big hitters have arrived. Slade – midway through their gestation into Tramps Of The Future – pitch up with their first #1. George Harrison celebrates his first and only year as the most successful solo Beatle – is emoted to by the People of Pan, who are still in quarantine after being stuck in Kenya. And Mick and the Kens make a rare appearance before nipping back to France to remind us who the Daddies are now... Video Playlist| Facebook | Twitter| Bluesky | The Chart Music Wiki | Patreon
191. #77 (Pt 2): 27.12.71 – Six Tins Of Batchelors Peas
01:27:16||Season 1, Ep. 191David Stubbs, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham commence their expedition into a TOTP end-of-year review with a comprehensive breakdown of Tony Blackburn’s 1971 – from the highs of compering the Daily Mirror Hot Pants Ball and having his own board game to the lows of having his image desecrated by Bristolian Prog bands and the nightmare of being stalked by the Heavy Music Brigade. Marc Bolan celebrates being the new King of Pop, The Tams have come dressed as John Inman if he supported Barcelona, and Benny Hill cops a meat pie in the heart...Video Playlist| Facebook | Twitter| Bluesky | The Chart Music Wiki | Patreon
190. #77 (Pt 1): 27.12.71 – Six Tins Of Batchelors Peas
01:23:33||Season 1, Ep. 190Taylor Parkes, David Stubbs and Al Needham prepare to set about a rare Sixventies episode of The Pops – a gloriously fecund time where the death of the Mopfabs creates a massive void. Who’s gonna fill it? We’ll find out in this end-of-year special. But first, it’s a leaf through the music papers of the day and a frank discussion on the rights and wrongs of having it off after a Sunday dinner... Video Playlist| Facebook | Twitter| Bluesky | The Chart Music Wiki | Patreon
189. Chart Music #76: August 12th 1982 – Humpty Dumpty Is Big Eggy
06:01:27||Season 1, Ep. 189The latest episode of the podcast which asks; do we really need a Chart Music Heritage Chart?Never have we needed Simon Bates at the top of the show warning of explicit content as much as we do for this episode, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, for it pains us to say that this one is absolutely sopping with the musk of Percy Filth. We’re combing through the grot-encrusted underbelly of the last days of the Eighventies here, and this episode is an uncompromising stare at it. You might want to finish your tea before you start on it.We’re in the Summer of 1982, and this instalment of our Favourite Thursday Evening Fizzy Pop Treat, and everything – even the rubbish bits – sparkles and wobbles like deeleyboppers in the breeze. Even John Peel gets into the spirit by putting on a bin liner, managing not to punch any City Farm wankers, and keeping the barbs to a minimum, unaware that Noel Edmonds is about to attempt to decapitate him over a year from now.Musicwise, it’s a textbook example of Silver Age Top Of The Pops, the programme that everyone moans about, but everyone watches. David Essex gifts us a slab of flesh-eating sensuality and some blokes arsing about in a posh bar. Yazoo continue their upward trajectory. We get some Red Hot Dutch Gay Filth lobbed at us, and then – YESSSS! – two chocolate guitars. Sheena Easton deigns to make an appearance, and then SIMULATED BUMSEX. Zoo get absolutely ignored because even Michael Hurll’s had enough of ‘em by now, the Fun Boy Three Puppet Show rolls into town, George Cole gets lionised, and you already know what the Number One is, so put that buffet plate down and pile onto the dancefloor, and DEAL WITH IT.David Stubbs and Taylor Parkes join Al Needham, the Dancing Fool for a glorious rampage through the summer of ‘82, veering off into tangents such as getting someone else’s calendar foisted upon you, the horrific tawdriness of Private Spy, the joys of old mens’ urine-soaked trousers, trying to get The Old Uns to buy records about being bummed by the police while a prostitute cheers them on, David Essex Apostrophe Showcase, and a doomed attempt to make some aliens have sex. FILTH! FILTH! FILTH!Video Playlist| Facebook | Twitter| Bluesky | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HERE
188. #76 (Pt 4): 12.8.82 – Humpty Dumpty Is Big Eggy
01:25:10||Season 1, Ep. 188David Stubbs, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham – still far too young, still far too clever – finish off this outstanding episode of The Pops, and are delighted to learn that at this point even Michael Hurll has had enough of Zoo, as he’s pushed them to the side to make way for some Moroccan tumblers. The Fun Boy 3 attempt to land the summer hit of the year, The Firm put themselves onto a nice little earner, and the Number One single of the week could not be more perfect. AINCHER GOT THE KETTLE ON YET, Pop-Crazed Youngsters?Video Playlist| Facebook | Twitter| Bluesky | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HERE
187. #76 (Pt 3): 12.8.82 – Humpty Dumpty Is Big Eggy
01:31:10||Season 1, Ep. 187Taylor Parkes, David Stubbs and Al Needham continue their odyssey through this massively enjoyable TOTP, and we finally get to see the Chocolate Guitar incident. Sheena Easton becomes Gertie Numan, then Haysi Fantayzee perform some ACTUAL BUMHOLE LOVE while kids are watching, before Wavelength cash in on the Falklands and throw a wet tea towel over the chip pan of Fizzy Pop Excitement. OK? YEAH! SHOWDOWN! Video Playlist| Facebook | Twitter| Bluesky | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HERE
186. #76 (Pt 2): 12.8.82 – Humpty Dumpty Is Big Eggy
01:32:47||Season 1, Ep. 186David Stubbs, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham gleefully ram their fists into a TOTP from the late summer of ‘82. John Peel oversees the well-supervised fun, unaware that a year from now Noel Edmonds is going to try to get him decapitated on live TV, and he introduces us to some Cannibal-Eating Sensuality. Then Yazoo – who look like the right-on young couple next door who would always be up for lending you a cup of Sosmix – continue their astonishing rise. And the Boys Town Gang take a night off from their urban perambulations to go their thing in a Dutch TV studio...Video Playlist| Facebook | Twitter| Bluesky | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HERE