Chart Music: the TOTP Podcast

The latest episode of the podcast which asks; so how do you set fire to a trophy?Like a man in a cage, we find ourselves trapped in the mid-Eighties, imprisoned in a lurid enclosure of neon and rolled sleeves and appalling Number Ones, with Gary Davies – fresh from a birthday party in a garage in Cumbria and looking well Bisto – in the Mr McKay role. Oh, it’s a grim time to be young, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, when the only thing the youth can look forward to is a Giro, a chance to see the frontwoman of All Her Looks in concert and – if you’re really lucky – landing a plum YTS gig, like Paul Jordan has. He’s making his debut tonight, and we try to work out who he actually was.Musicwise, hmm. Colonel Abrams pops up to deliver a telegram which reads HOUSE IS COMING STOP. Bruce Dickinson paints Paul D’Anno out of history. A pre-codpiece Cameo make their ‘first-ever television debut’ (thanks, Paul). Then the BBC runs an advert for a film made by someone from the Cradle Of Pop, followed by a double-whammy of Our Bands. The best duo in Pop history whose name begins with ‘Rene And’ pitch up and pretend to be Prince. The Top Ten gets fisted by Billy Idol. Red Box asks us if we’ve heard the good news about Jesus. A Success Coat containing Midge Ure receives its sympathy #1, and The Kids (and City Farm) have a sensible jig to Five Star.   Simon Price and Rock Expert David Stubbs join Al Needham for a good snuffle around the crotch of 1985, pausing along the way to shill their new books, followed by frank discussions about sexual awakenings under a massive poster of Pete Burns, the lamentable tale of Stubbs The Sap, the Great Top Valley Pupil Insurrection of 1985, Fetish Sporrans, being stared at by Morrissey at Chippenham Goldiggers, Quincy Punks, a comprehensive breakdown of the Chicken Dance, and a disgraceful run-in midway through the episode. SWEARING.Video Playlist| Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter| The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HEREOrder Different Times by David HEREPre-order Curepedia by Simon HERE

Simon Price, Rock Expert David Stubbs and Al Needham hit the final stretch of this episode of TOTP, and pick through the ‘delights’ of the Top Ten. It’s a meaty fist in the air for Billy Idol, King of the Quincy Punks, before being subjected to a cult indoctrination video. We savour Midge Ure’s Sympathy Number One, and then it’s on to the dancefloor for some well-supervised fun with Five Star, before your Mam finds out who’s got Meeeshell in the club…   Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HEREOrder Different Times by David HEREPre-order Curepedia by Simon HERE

Simon Price, Rock Expert David Stubbs and Al Needham plunge ever-onwards into a post-Live Aid episode of The Pops, and it turns out that 1985 is SKILL – well, it is when Cameo are slinking about on TOTP stage. Then we’re reminded of the dark times when John Parr pitches up to do a film advert. But then! It’s a double-barrelled blast of Our Bands, as the Smiths are forced to do a video, and Lol Tolhurst stinks out a wardrobe. And them some bloke starts going about thinking he’s Prince. GO FOR IT, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS! Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HEREOrder Different Times by David HEREPre-order Curepedia by Simon HERE

Simon Price, Rock Expert David Stubbs and Al Needham set about this episode of TOTP with the usual gleeful abandon, asking themselves; what did Paul Jordan actually do to get nobbed off from Radio 1 in less than a year? And why does Gary Davies look like he’s been thrown into a tub of Bisto? Colonel Abrams gets us housetrained, Iron Maiden have a good widdle in California, and we’re subjected to a break-in… Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HEREOrder Different Times by David HEREPre-order Curepedia by Simon HERE

Simon Price, Rock Expert David Stubbs and Al Needham prepare for a punishing slog through a post-Live Aid episode of The Pops – but first, a good hard shill of their new books, which are out NOW/SOON. We leaf through that week’s NME, discuss a Norwegian newspaper article from the year 2000, and, y’know, go on a bit about pop music. TUCK IN, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS!  Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HEREOrder Different Times by David HEREPre-order Curepedia by Simon HERE

The latest episode of the podcast which asks; Whoops Scotties, Tasty Tarts Foster Grants or Allied For Carpets For You?Oh yes – it’s back to the Eighventies we go, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, to a year where everyone was loaded into a cannon and fired into the dress-up box, or so we’re led to believe. One look at Peter Powell – who has turned up looking like he’s booked a week’s holiday on a canalboat through Hoseasons – will remind you it wasn’t quite like that.It’s a boom time for TOTP, is early ’81: they’re pulling down Crossroads-level ratings week after week and they’ve got the Music TV field entirely to themselves, but – as this episode demonstrates – we’re not in the Yellow Hurll era just yet, and there’s a lot of dead wood to clear out. And, as the bill of fare tonight demonstrates, the Seventies are not done quite yet. Musicwise, it’s a proper melange of young and old.  Sharon Redd tries to be sexually overpowering in front of a grim tableau of gormless youths in visors doing the hand jive. The true icon of 1981 – The Man of Denim – spells out his five-year plan to tackle the social housing crisis in a special filmed broadcast. A punk lad gets dead excited at the sight of someone taking the stage in a PiL t-shirt, only to discover that it’s Dave ‘No, the other one’ Stewart.The show takes a severe turn towards the elderly when The Who – fresh from their new LP being absolutely coated down in the music papers – followed by Legs & Co ‘neath a giant Scotch egg, and an encore performance of that paint pot on Phil Collins’ keyboard. But then! It’s the fresh, virile sound of Bucks Fizz in their first ever TOTP performance, followed by an actual video that looks like Proper 1981, by Strange The Clock. Duran Duran  pop up for a repeat of their TOTP debut, and then, Oh God, it’s Toyah again, followed by Bryan Mirror and his new single, I Remember Johnny Lennon. Neil Kulkarni and Taylor Parkes join Al Needham in order to throw some bricks and petrol bombs at 1981, pausing along the way to discuss Masonic tombolas, Grange Hill tube station, the career of The Who in egg form, the damage that the American Syd Little wrought upon the charts, and – unfortunately – Breakfast television-related masturbatory shame. SWEARING! AND A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HERE

Neil Kulkarni, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham finally stumble upon the real 1981 – Strange The Clock, and the New Street Station Dolls – while Al deals with an industrial dispute over Toyah by locking Neil and Taylor out and getting some robots in. And we finally get to grips with the most malign influence upon the charts of 1981 – the Syd Little of America…Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HERE

Neil Kulkarni, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham plough on through this episode from the tail-end of the Eighventies, stopping for a deep, deep, deep dive on the post-Moon Who. Legs & Co say farewell to Pauline by sitting about under a giant Scotch egg, the Paint Pot comes back for an encore, and Bucks Fizz make their debut and do that thing with the Velcro…Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HERE

Neil Kulkarni, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham commence their odyssey into the March 19th 1981 episode, and are horrified to discover that the Top Of The Pops Orchestra are still knocking about, and The Kids – who are supposed to be dressed up as nouveaux dandies – are wearing visors and doing the Blockbusters hand-jive. After a visit from Comrade Shaky – the Everlasting Gobstopper of Chart Music – it’s a frigid blast of Dad-Synth. Oh dear… Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | PatreonGet your tickets for Chart Music at the London Podcast Festival HERE