Chart Music: the TOTP Podcast


May 17th 1977 - The Nationwide Jubilee Song Contest

Season 1, Ep. 147
In the last episode of Chart Music, we broke down Nationwide's Jubilee Fair - an astonishing melange of forelock-tuggery, Trad Jazz and moaning that things were better when we had an empire and National Service, which offered its viewers both an opportunity to revel in the past and a chance to experience what it was going to be like in the entertainment room of a care home in the future. But we stopped short of mentioning one thing: the ending, where the winner of the Nationwide Jubilee Song Contest got the chance to reprise their tune. And we’ve seen the final – 15 and a bit minutes of musical astonishment So, let us take you back to the post-teatime haze of Thursday May 17th 1977, as the hundreds of musical tributes to the Queen have been whittled down to five, and a nation – or at least, the part of it who isn't watching Crossroads – baits its breath for a Jubular soundclash of monumental proportions. Eric Smallshaw of Eccles gets the party started with a sultry Lancastro-Cuban call to Rhumbic Bacchanalia. The youth of Hucklow First School, Sheffield, praise the Queen with balalaikas for her ability to get on a massive boat and go around the world. Richard Gwyn and Cameo let an entire Principality down with their 'rocking' music. The Farringdon Infants School of Sunderland produce an indecipherable dirge of xylophone-bonging and recorder-blaring. And the Singing Butcher and the Coventry Kids shout their fealty to the Monarchy in a way that only 70s youths and a ginger meat-man can. But who will win? Only Richard Stilgoe knows...Team ATVLand - Neil Kulkarni, Taylor Parkes and Al Needham - sit down and tuck into one of the most gloriously mental slivers of British TV we’ve ever come across, breaking off to discuss Other People’s Children, the Hexham Heads, the difference between United and City fans, the Asian Jubilee Song Contest, and lifeboat crews rescuing a rugby ball in tribute to the Queen, or summat. SHIMMY AND SHAKE TO THE NUMBER, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS!See all acts - and the voting - HERE   Last call for our live show on Sept 17th HERE   

#67: June 9th 1977 – God Save Chart Music

Season 1, Ep. 146
The latest episode of the podcast which asks; are the Wurzels going to float in an eternal hellscape of bodily waste and toenails for singing about turning bulls gay?This episode would have been perfect for the other month while Shakin’ Jubilee was occurring – but no matter, Pop-Crazed Youngsters, because we’re going right back to the apogee of the Silby Joobs, which no-one ever said in 1977 because people weren’t as rubbish as they are today. Flags! Bunting! Street parties! Massive patriotic Yorkshire puddings! Blatant chart-rigging! Your hosts are a) giving thousand-yard stares over some sausage rolls and praying that their father isn’t going to run off with a Characterful Dad in a dress and some balloons up their shirt, b) communing with nature with a Jubilee coin in their grubby paw and c) watching some Caledonian ultra-violence outside a pub and pretending to be asleep under a Union Jack listening to their Dad banging on about Elvis again, but they all unite on Thursday evening to witness a Tony Blackburn – who has just invented Fathers 4 Justice – introduce a decidedly mixed bag of Pop treats. Musicwise, it’s a veritable trifle of Pop, layered with West Midlands Safari Park Hi-Life, Ormskirk Americana, Southampton Funk, and a thick, satisfying custard of Black American Pop. Frankie Miller pulls a mic stand about. The Pips warm up for a night at the rollerdisco. The Stranglers piss about and stomp on someone’s fingers. Demis Roussos lies to us about an island. Neil Innes drags TOTP into 1982. Legs & Co have to make something up on the spot. Bob Marley celebrates Jubilee week by telling us that Britain is rammel and we should clear out as soon as possible. The Wurzels bring us another unflinching examination of rural life. And we get ‘treated’ to Little Rabbit Arse. But there’s an elephant in bondage trousers in the room, isn’t there?Neil Kulkarni and Taylor Parkes join Al Needham for a gargantuan street party of critical analysis, with tangents ahoy – including a trawl through the Nationwide Jubilee Fair, 35 hours of Triangle, Demis Roussos’ £30,000 bed, Retirement Pop, the dark link between the Wurzels and the Radio 1 Roadshow, and cycling tips from Simon Bates’ massive floating head. If you’re a fan of the Monarchy, best skip the first hour – and yes, swearing a –plenty…Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | Patreon*** Get your tickets for our live show HERE ***

#66: March 15th 1990 – De La Stoke

Season 1, Ep. 141
The latest episode of the podcast which asks; has anyone ever lost their virginity while listening to a Jive Bunny record?It’s the long-awaited return of Our Sarah and Taylor after their encounter with the Spiteful Armoured Bollock, Pop-Crazed Youngsters – and to welcome them back, Al allowed them to pick out an episode. Consequently, we’re heading deep into the heart of the Neighties. Your panel are a) being Arthur Seaton in Saturday Night and Sunday Morning without the sex, b) hovering over the pause button during the Top 40, and c) playing Human Frogger on the way to a Blue Boar, while the music scene is awash with flares! Pob faces! That dance where you look like you’re walking on a bouncy castle with a pint in each hand! Ridiculously misplaced optimism! And BLEDDEH DRUGS, of course!Musicwise, crikey: we’re promised a Rock n’ Roll episode by Simon Mayo, who looks absolutely shagged out having been up since 5am, but the overriding theme tonight is British people finally coming to terms with dance music whilst plundering as much of the late Sixties as possible. Wayne Hussey warms up for his date with James Whale with some Pub Goth. New Kids On The Block do something pointless and futile with a basketball. Candy Flip – the Jedward of Madchester – cause the Kids to hysterically scream as if John Lennon had ripped himself from the grave and turned up at the studio to have it out with them. The B-52s have a better night out than you. Big Fun, Fish and Wet Wet Wet get about 20 seconds each. Bobby Omnishake prances like an absolute tit, everyone whoops at an Inspiral Carpets suicide anthem, Jive Bunny throws down some hardcore Dad-Hop, Quentin fancies Lindy I.D.S.T., and we get some actual House music at the end. For about 30 seconds.Sarah Bee and Taylor Parkes join Al Needham for a clinically intensive rummage through the Spring of 1990, veering off on such tangents as a comprehensive drill-down into Mike Read’s Heritage Chart, what not to do when cleaning out a Fleshlight, the Stone Roses/New Kids war in the Smash Hits letters page, Showaddywaddy’s Bloods/Crips dilemma, how the Martians wisely self-isolated and wore masks for a couple of years, and some remarkably graphic sex talk. And swearing!Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | Patreon