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Talking Istanbullocks Comedy Pubcast

Inside Out In Istanbul: Self-Soiling Dolls and Mrs O'Leary's Knickers

Season 1, Ep. 10

In the latest hilarious episode of Blackmilkshake, travel writer and special guest Lisa Morrow shares with you the secrets of life in Turkey. Find out your true feelings about law and order and if there is, indeed, such a thing as victimless crime in Criminal Minds BS, catch our exclusive interview with Danny 'Headhunter' Preston whose rock 'n' roll lifestyle once saw him beat a man to death with his own shoes but now is developing a line in defecating dolls, Honzie will teach you about the elements of the zodiac while still confusing Capricorn and Capri Sun while the lads bring you all the burning topics such as funny song titles and Marmite.

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  • 79. Greek Gods and an absent Turkey

    52:01
    In this sunny summer special, Jorma and Jamie T. Murphy try (more or less successfully) to avoid politics and sport, while Ray, takes a well-earned break. The lads discuss why nobody should be exempt from having the piss taken out of them and probably too much information about removing ball hair from Jamie's mansion and a Venetian Harbour in Crete.HighlightsMorgan Freeman Poem - Canadian WaxingKing Charles discusses hereditary illness with Meghan and Harry (sketch)Tribute to Ray Mac: song about 80's eroticaA Middle England woman gets arrested at a jam-making festival (sketch)Kiss and Tell - Ray and Jorma discuss a dodgy dogging date (reader's letter)Kaiden Stokes The Really Woke Bloke lectures a happy mother on how to bring up her child ethically (sketch)Listen to Jamie's Podcast on Mental Health: https://shows.acast.com/ya-alrite-hunAll sketches and songs/jingles written and produced by Jorma Kirkko. Voices provided by Valerie Richards, Joan O'Ruairc, Duncan Chesley, Jorma KirkkoSpecial thanks to Jamie T. Murphy, Ray Mac, Eamon McAndrew#britishcomedy #irishcomedy #podcast #takingthepiss #JamieTMurphy #YaAlrightHunPodcast
  • 78. Politicians Are C*nts: Sunak and Southgate Perform a Farewell Rap

    34:14
    In today's show special guests, comedy-writer and musician Jamie T. Murphy and bookshop owner, Wally O'Neill talk about how they help people suffering from addictions, mental health and homelessness in their home-town of Wexford, while the politicians do nothing.The pair are launching their own podcast next week, 'Ya alright Hun?' where people tell their real-life stories of mental illness and addiction in their families. Jamie and Wally are chalk and cheese but are both heroes in their community and riveting and hilarious guests.This week's sketch is Gareth Southgate and Rishi Sunak performing Lose Yourself by Eminem.#britishcomedy #irishhumour #redbookswexford #jamietmurphy #wallyoneill #mentalhealthcharity #southgateout #sunakout #comedysong #Eminemripoff
  • 77. Rat Boy Summer - Would You Date A Rodent?

    38:37
    1. Welcome and Introduction:Hosts Jorma + Ray, dressed in their summer finest, kick off the episode from their favourite local pub. Jorma is sporting a string vest reminiscent of Onslow from "Keeping Up Appearances," while Ray flaunts an off-the-shoulder Prada number as they sip Pimms + Lemonade + Roofies and Baileys.2. Chickpeas and Rat BoysChickpea Magazine - your go-to source for all things hummus and falafel related. ‘Fuller Than a Bowl At A Bulimics All You Can Eat Buffet’Introduction to the trending term "Ratboy Summer," the latest viral fashion trend on TikTok.3. Morgan Freedman's Poem - "Ratboy Summer":Morgan Freedman humorously navigates the absurdity of TikTok, particularly focusing on the emergence of "Ratboy" chic.The poem delves into the shift from traditional handsome guys like Gary Cooper to the new trend of ratboys, providing a satirical commentary on societal trends, ending with a humorous plea for compassion and common sense in romantic pursuits.4. Ratboy discussion – a Welsh BAFTA nomination for Morgan Freeman?Ray nominates Morgan for a Welsh BAFTA.Poetry requests from listeners to talkingistanbullocks@gmail.com5. Listener Engagement:Encouragement for listeners to subscribe, follow, and share the podcast on various platforms.Special mention of the rising listener base in Malaysia.6. True or False Quiz: The Reproductive Lives Of Bees and David BeckhamFun and quirky segment packed with fun facts and banter.7. Community Spotlight – ‘Are You Alright Hon?’Red Books in Wexford, Ireland, run by Wally O'Neill. is more than a bookshop; it’s a community hub offering workshops, writing courses, live music, and also support homeless and mental health initiatives.Upcoming podcast "Are You Alright Hon?" presented by Wally and regular contributor to Talking Istanbullocks, Jamie T. Murphy, focusing on personal stories about addiction, homelessness, and mental health.8. Bogus Horoscope and Psychic Predictions for the month of June with Honzie Curley:Honzie returns with his monthly horoscopes and suspiciously accurate psychic predictions for June.9. Post of the Week:A humorous joke about a duck, self-identifying as a plasterer.10. Final Thoughts and Outro:Ray and Jorma wrap up the episode with light-hearted banter and reminders for listener interaction and engagement.Additional Notes:Listeners are invited to contribute poems for Morgan Freedman to read.Encouragement to check out the podcast’s YouTube channel for sketches and more comedic content.This show uses AI voices#ComedyPodcast #BritishComedy #IrishComedy #RatboySummer #Banter #IstanbulComedy #Funny#WexfordBooks #HoroscopePredictions #ViralTrends #TikTokFashion #HumorAndSatire #MustListenPodcast #ComedyVarietyShowTRANSCRIPT: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Anka0iEBcAqPg8zW5MJvRX_C5aTQnNallLx_tlcbR7w/editSocial Media:Subscribe on YouTubeFollow and interact on social media platforms for more updates and behind-the-scenes content.
  • 76. Top Of The Morning: Transexual Prostitutes in Istanbul

    37:32
    "Funnier than Jonathan Ross" - Graham Norton.The belly laughs are back in this summer variety show as Ray and Jorma drink gin with various vegetable surprises in conjunction with Pakistan Textile JournalChinese Year of the Talking Istanbullocks: Introduction and Ray gets a sensual foot massage from an Aussie farmer called BruceIs The New American Dream: A poem by Morgan Freeman. Morgan talks about how hopeless the two geriatric presidential candidates, Biden and Trump are and drops a revealing hint about Clint Eastwood's recent embarrassing hospital visit.Aging Presidents discussion: Sharks, Electric boats and Morgan Freeman's age.Plugging the YouTube channel: Talking Istanbullocks Comedy. Being accused of being an NPC by a little bollix and not understanding internet slang.True or False: Test your knowledge of boybands and rhyming slang for haemorrhoids (piles).Mock The Woke (COMEDY SKETCH) Kaiden Stokes, the overly woke bloke, tries to order a pint of ''Guinness Beer'' from Greg, the slightly autistic bartender, who mistakes him for a Trip Advisor inspector. Greg tries to be ''accommodating and friendly'' and Kaiden ends up in a spot of bother with the police after he flashes some dollars around in a red light district.Blackmilkshake Post of the Week: Which human organ becomes ten times bigger when it's stimulated? Preview and Shout OutsTRANSCRIPT: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ROCe-4pODCDpFoGLVz4J6cGPagEEYMLNv-pnKKmzpOs/edit?usp=sharingJoin us for another riotous episode filled with satire, slapstick, and clever comedy. If you enjoy the show, don’t forget to share it with your friends and leave us a rating!#ComedyPodcast #BritishComedy #IrishComedy #GinAndTonicCucumber #hilariouspodcast #youngatheart #MockTheWoke #BidenOrTrump #MorganFreemanPoetry #PodcastHumour #TalkingIstanbullocksYouTubeChannel #TimHallam #PakistanTextileJournal #hilariouspodcast #funnierthanjonathanross
  • 75. Nigel Farage General Erection

    42:29
    In this steamy and sultry episode from a tropical Istanbul, Jorma and Ray bring you a blend of belly laughs and unexpected twists in a show brought to you in conjunction with American Bitch magazineChinese Year of the Talking Istanbullocks: Introduction and Ray explains how he allegedly got a hole in his jorts.Ink On Ugly: A poem by Morgan Freeman. Morgan talks yachts, emergency workers and questions the wisdom of body art with his signature wit.Tattoo discussion: Jorma makes a bold comment on Shakira and Chardonnay's parentsPlugging the YouTube channel: Talking Istanbullocks ComedyTrue or False: Test your knowledge on Jerry Hall, Geri Halliwell, Mick Jagger and Bryan Ferry and a nice story about Balinese hospitality and were the Rolling Stones paedophiles?Nigel Farage General Erection: A sketch where Nigel goes on the campaign trail in Lickey End and misunderstands a middle-aged woman's ''invitation to Lickey End'' as he causes.Blackmilkshake Post of the Week: The boys read the funniest and most outrageous listener submissions, including a humorous story involving a priest and some unexpected reactions during a church massSpecial Thanks: Shout-outs to our loyal listeners and an awkward thanks to the fantastic Joan O'RuaircTRANSCRIPT: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OdlELg1u5rknzfvgaPhM5gcjTdGmEGBn9OkmCagkTuA/editJoin us for another uproarious episode filled with satire, slapstick, and clever comedy. If you enjoy the show, don’t forget to share it with your friends and leave us a rating!#ComedyPodcast #BritishComedy #IrishComedy #TattooFails #hilariouspodcast #youngatheart #NigelFarageMilkshake #NigelFarageSexScandal #MorganFreemanPoetry #PodcastHumour #TalkingIstanbullocksYouTubeChannel #JoanO'Ruairc #AmericanBitch #hilariouspodcast #youngatheart
  • 74. I think I just saw Jesus or was it Jeremy Beadle?

    33:47
    ''The funniest podcast in heaven or on earth’’ – Pope Francis Comedy variety and chat from a sunny Istanbul.  #ComedyPodcast #FunnyPodcast #BritishComedy #IrishComedy #JormaKirklo #RayMac #MorganFreemanPoem HabsburgChins #JesusSketch  #TrueOrFalseQuiz #BeingJohnMalkovich #JohnMalkovichSchoolBusDriver #SuperMacsVsMcDonalds #PodcastBanter #JobCentreSketch #MattSmithUgly #WelshBaftas #JesusUnemployed #ALittleIrishMathsTest  #DirtyTreeAndATurd #PodcastInTurkey #IstanbulComedy #IrishCountdown #WasThatJeremyBeadle Transcripthttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1MjvqhpJePReDBQ4grirxR16L1MKMCbZNt164EzkWte4/edit Episode Highlights  1. Introduction  - Introduction to the episode by Jorma Kirkko and Ray Mac.  - Mention of sponsors, Vaticanum - 'the most a-peeling magazine for potato storers' 2. Episode Highlights and chatDiscussion about Ray eating ice lollies and communion wafers in a deck chair with underpants on his headScrambling eggs on Ray’s stomachSexy Beast (movie)True or False QuizMorgan Freeman poemJesus Sketch 3. Morgan Freeman Funny PoemMorgan Freeman reads his poem "The Habsburg Jaw," requested by Australian historian, Kim Phillips. Incest, chins and Game of ThronesJimmy Hill’s Chin4. True or False Quiz and chatJohn Malkovich Bus Driver?Liam Neeson in Michael CollinsWho has the right to use the word Big Mac?Getting served lasagna by Cyclops 5. Jesus In The Job Centre SKETCH* What work have you done before Jesus?* I suppose I am a Christian* I’ve not worked really for 2000 years* Was that  fucking Jeremy Beadle?  6. Post of the WeekIrish Countdown 7. Thanks and Closing Credits  - Closing remarks, credits, and thank-yous to contributors and sponsors
  • 73. The World's Best Lie Detector

    37:41
    ''The funniest podcast of all time with the two funniest lads'' - Eamonn Holmes.Comedy variety and chat from a sunny Istanbul.#ComedyPodcast #FunnyPodcast #BritishComedy #IrishComedy #JormaKirklo #RayMac #MorganFreemanPoem #SpoofHoroscopes #FakePsychic #TrueOrFalseQuiz #AnimalFacts #FantasticMrFox #PodcastBanter #LieDetectorTest #RectalPolygraph #Marmite #Psychiatology #NickiMinaj #EamonHolmes #PsychicPredictions #PodcastInTurkey #IstanbulComedyTranscripthttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1SQNpkbRxew8NS0Yrimu9_DM51ZouDCJsCXNwsBO9H68/editEpisode Highlights1. Introduction  - Introduction to the episode by Jorma Kirkko and Ray Mac.  - Mention of sponsors, James Joyce Irish Pub and Potato Storage International Magazine - 'the most a-peeling magazine for potato storers'2. Episode Highlights and chatDiscussion about Ray stepping in dogshit while wearing sandalsPsychiatology - Ray takes the rectal polygraph test to discuss his hyper-sexual urges for Dr. Brutus HimmlerHoroscopes and Pscyhic Predictions for MayPost of the WeekTrue or False QuizMorgan Freeman poem3. Morgan Freeman Funny PoemMorgan Freeman reads his poem "The Human Atom," requested by a listener. Dealing with not understanding physics and falling off horsesDiscussion about horses with moustaches4. True or False Quiz and chatGerman word for fox is Fuchs - for Fuchs sake!Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald DahlMeryl Strep...er...Streep...Stripper?5. Psychic Predictions with Honzie  - Honzie's horoscopes and psychic predictions for the month of May.Eamon Holmes, Manchester United, Nicki Minaj6. Dr. Brutus Himmler Rectal Polygraph on RayRay undergoes some painful psychiatologyWe've no KY Jelly - only MarmiteRay's innermost erotic thoughts come to lightResidential Therapy Required9. YouTube Channel Promotion  - Promotion of the podcast’s YouTube channel and recent uploads.10. Post of the Weeka genie gives a man a wish and he gets a 30cm tall piano player by mistake11. Thanks and Closing Credits  - Closing remarks, credits, and thank-yous to contributors and sponsors.
  • 72. Mispronouncing Mozart and Cancelling Culture

    36:56
    ''The funniest 30-40 minutes of your week'' - Liam NeesonFor the transcript please click here:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z2tPDLkDshWsRGAzX_nFp8g0eEXCZ8OW/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=112544040379232077039&rtpof=true&sd=trueEpisode Highlights:1. "The Chinese Year of the Istanbullocks" - Intro* Jorma and Ray kick off the show with humorous anecdotes, including Ray's hilarious recount of applying Canestan and Trabacort creams to treat a yeast infection.* Shoutout to "De-worming World Magazine" for sponsoring the episode, bringing humor to the subject of pet parasite control.2. Morgan Freeman's Poem:  - A weekly feature where Morgan Freeman reads an original poem requested by David from Kildare on a topic requested by a listener. This week's poem, "Climate Change by Morgan Freeman," reflects on the changing weather patterns and their impact on his mood.* Call for listeners to send in their poetry requests to talkingistanbullocks@gmail.com.3. True or False Segment:  * Mozart making fun of a singer he disliked, mispronouncing Mozart and how Germans are obsessed with poo4. Sketch: Woke Bloke Kaiden Stokes Tries To Cancel Culture At The British Library  * Kaiden Stokes threatens to burn lots of children’s classics such as The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Robin Hood but accidentally gets caught out when his mobile phone reveals he has been watching porn in the toilets.5. Segment: Kiss and Tell:  * The boys help a female listener decide whether to continue with a relationship, involving a man with a "Lord of the Rings" fantasy.6. Post of the Week:  * Joke sent in to Blackmilkshake Facebook page, the podcast’s sister project.7. Closing:  * Encouragement for listeners to subscribe, download past episodes, and share with friends.  * Reminder to send in poetry requests and interact with the show.#TalkingIstanbulllocksPodcast#WeirdBedrooomBehaviour#IstanbulComedy#MorganFreemanPoem#Funny#DeWormingWorldMagazine#KissAndTell#PostOfTheWeek#MozartTrivia#MispronouncingMozart#WokeParody#WokeCulture#CancelCulture#CancellingChildrensBooks#LordOfTheRingsFetish#GettingCaughtMasturbating#GlobalWarming#BritishComedy#IrishComedy#expatpodcastCall to Action:- Subscribe on your favourite podcast app.- Download and share past episodes.- Send poetry requests to talkingistanbullocks@gmail.com.
  • 71. Does Donald Trump Have a Body Double?

    38:52
    Could Trump really have a body double? Donald Trump’s court behaviour is suspicious but could the real Donald be hiding on a desert island with Chris the Dog, getting updates via satellite phone from Marjorie Taylor Swift?We dive into the bizarre world of Kristi Noem, the notorious pet contract killer and how Alanis Morisette ironically doesn't understand irony and other annoying song lyrics. How many words can Des'ree possibly get to rhyme with 'most' before her career is toast or before we mention Dolly Parton's Greatest 'Its#DonaldTrumpSketch #BodyDouble #LostOnADesertIsland #KristiNoem #SongLyrics #DollyParton #ComedyPodcast ##BritishComedy #IrishComedy #Banter #MorganFreemanPoetry #MarjorieTaylorGreenParody #KlanMom #AlanisMorisette #TalkingIstanbullocksYouTube #IstanbulPodcast #expatpodcastSummary:Chinese New Year of The Talking Istanbullocks: ''the magazine that trains young men to not wear underpants under their jeans and knock at bored housewive’s doors to do essential repairs''; Bob Guccione Junior - Guns n RosesMorgan Freeman: ''Silk Pajamas and Spanking by Morgan Freeman'', ''Donald farts in court, his orange head with disdain shakes,As he dines on Filet-O-Fish,Big Macs and milkshakes.'', ''Stay away from under 40’s and women in porn,No matter how much they might give you the horn.''Donald Trump:Agent Orange. Clan Mom calling. Listen very carefully. I shall say this only once.Donald: What do you say?Marjorie Taylor: I said ‘I shall say this only once’.Donald: No. Not that bit. The Asian Orange thing. I don’t get it Marjorie.Marjorie Taylor Swift: Donald! You’re not supposed to use my name in case the cabal is listening in. You’re AGENT Orange.True or False Quiz: Worst song lyrics ever - Alanis Morisette; Dolly Parton cover; Des'ree, Agadoo - Black LaceWatch our YouTube Channel: Talking IstanbullocksPost Of The Week: Funny jokeThat's All Folks

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