Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

This week, Ash sits down with embodied dance artist and coach Taylah King, whose journey from darkness to rediscovery is both heart-wrenching and deeply inspiring. Taylah opens up about her twelve-year relationship and marriage that began in childhood, the growing inner whisper that something wasn't right, and the vulnerability of walking away from the only safety she'd ever known. From alcohol abuse that started at fourteen to a drug-induced psychosis triggered by ayahuasca, Taylah shares candidly about spending two years dissociated from reality, convinced she was dead, and trapped in a mental health crisis that felt inescapable.She reflects on the terrifying experience of psychosis, the inadequacy of traditional mental health support, and the overwhelming loneliness of not knowing if she'd ever come back. Taylah describes the turning point that changed everything: surrendering to faith, working with a mentor, and falling in love for the first time while sober, which allowed her to finally feel again after years of numbness. Throughout their conversation, Ash and Taylah explore the danger of spiritual bypassing, the power of embodiment practices, and the importance of learning to listen to your nervous system instead of seeking answers outside yourself.Today, Taylah uses dance and movement as medicine, helping others reconnect to their bodies and move freely in the world without substances. Her story is a powerful reminder that even in the deepest darkness, there is always a way back home to yourself.Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Taylah's Journey02:56 Rediscovery Through Dance06:05 The Struggles Behind the Smile09:02 Substance Abuse and Its Impact12:01 The Role of Ayahuasca in Healing14:58 Experiencing Psychosis17:55 The Aftermath of Psychosis21:02 Finding Freedom in Movement30:11 The Journey Through Psychosis34:01 Spiritual Awakening and Healing39:12 The Role of Love and Relationships in Recovery43:10 Embodiment and Self-Connection51:13 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling LifeYou can connect with Taylah using the links below:Instagram: @taylahkingmovementFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets HereJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with author Blake D. Bauer, whose book You Were Not Born to Suffer has helped thousands rethink the way they relate to themselves, their pain, and their past. Blake opens up about his own journey through addiction, mental health struggles, and the pressure to keep it all hidden behind a smile, tracing how childhood experiences and emotional confusion shaped the way he moved through the world.He shares how meditation and Eastern philosophies became lifelines and a pathway into healing. Ash and Blake dive into the power of morning meditation, the quiet joy of everyday moments, and what it really means to take radical responsibility for your inner life instead of waiting for someone else to fix it.Throughout their conversation, Blake offers grounded, practical steps for cultivating self-love and rebuilding self-trust: listening to your own needs, telling yourself the truth, and learning to treat yourself with the same honesty and kindness you’d offer someone you care about.If you’re looking for simple ways that will significantly improve your life, this episode is for you!Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Blake Bauer's Journey02:59 The Importance of Morning Meditation06:01 Finding Joy in Everyday Life09:01 The Impact of Travel on Personal Growth12:04 Hiding Behind a Smile: A Personal Story15:04 Childhood Influences and Emotional Struggles17:51 The Role of Sports in Blake's Life20:50 Consequences of Substance Abuse23:48 Awakening to a Spiritual Journey27:06 The Healing Power of Eastern Philosophies32:57 The Journey to Self-Discovery34:10 The Importance of Self-Love38:38 Practical Steps to Cultivate Self-Love50:23 Rebuilding Self-Trust and Confidence58:44 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling LifeYou can connect with Blake using the links below:Free Meditation: https://vimeo.com/768757355Website: https://elevatewellness.io/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blakedbauer/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YouWereNotBornToSuffer.by.BlakeDBauer LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/blake-d-bauer Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Melbourne - Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with powerhouse performer Naomi Eyers, whose four-decade career has taken her from session singer to London’s West End, global tours with The Fabulous Singlettes, and sharing stages with icons like Shirley Bassey and Tom Jones. Behind the spotlight, Naomi has quietly built over 31 years of sobriety, reshaping not just her life in music, but the way she shows up for herself and others.Naomi opens up about her early experiences with alcohol and drugs, the pull of ambition, and the quiet moments that revealed her relationship with drinking was no longer sustainable. She shares candidly about the ups and downs of her recovery journey including her recent heart attack that became a brutal wake-up call, going to rehab with almost three decades of sobriety, and the spiritual and emotional work that followed.Together, they trace Naomi’s journey through addiction, sobriety, and the long road of staying sober through life’s inevitable turmoil including grief, changing relationships, and the ongoing demands of a life in the arts. Naomi reflects on the role of community, the impact of the relationships that held a mirror up when she needed it most, and the way music, fun, and creativity still sit at the heart of her life today, only now grounded in peace rather than chaos.Naomi shares how today she values spiritual connection, honest self-reflection, service, and simple daily routines that keep her anchored in gratitude and presence.Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction to the Retreats and Podcast01:19 Naomi Eyers: A Life in Music03:12 Daily Routine and Morning Practices11:32 Spiritual Connection and Personal Growth15:03 Finding Fun and Connection in Recovery18:11 The Search for Inner Peace22:42 Early Experiences with Alcohol28:27 Life as a Young Performer31:47 The Restless Pursuit of Ambition34:00 Navigating the Music Scene in Sydney36:47 Living in a Narcissistic Bubble39:19 The Illusion of Success42:42 The Catalyst for Change44:31 Rock Bottom and Relationships46:30 The Denial of Alcoholism50:53 The Struggle for Control55:30 The Moment of Surrender01:00:12 Awakening to the Truth01:04:11 Finding a New Path in Recovery01:08:13 The Struggle of Sobriety01:09:42 The Journey of Recovery and Relapse01:11:37 Relationships and Higher Powers01:13:33 The Impact of Lockdown on Relationships01:16:39 The Heart Attack: A Wake-Up Call01:18:28 Seeking Help: The Path to Recovery01:22:17 Experiences at South Pacific Private01:25:09 The Importance of Vulnerability in Recovery01:30:24 The Power of Community and Connection01:36:56 Letting Go and Embracing Change01:40:41 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling LifeFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week’s episode is four years in the making, as Ash sits down with her brother, Campbell Butterss, for a conversation that is both deeply personal and authentically honest. Cam reflects on their shared upbringing, growing up in an environment that was at times unpredictable. The subtle dynamics and unspoken patterns that shaped them both, and how sport became an outlet and a way to navigate emotions he didn’t yet have the words for.At sixteen years sober, Cam opens up about his journey into sobriety at 26, the moments that led him to take a more honest look at his relationship with alcohol, and the support systems that helped him find a new way forward. Ash and Cam explore the evolving nature of family and friendships in recovery, what shifts, what stays the same, and what it takes to step out of old roles and into something more aligned.They also touch on the realities of Campbell’s career in real estate, and the tools he’s developed to move through uncertainty and pressure without falling back into old patterns. Woven throughout the conversation are themes of growth, perspective, and the grounding influence of fatherhood, as Campbell shares how becoming a dad has shaped the way he lives, leads, and shows up today.Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to the Retreats01:19 Meet Campbell Butters: A Personal Journey02:33 The Importance of Family and Relationships04:37 Navigating Life's Challenges: A Personal Reflection06:51 Finding Purpose in Real Estate09:02 The Roller Coaster of Real Estate12:16 Tools for Resilience in a Volatile Industry14:58 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Struggles of 200919:00 Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics21:38 The Role of Sport in Escaping Reality26:11 The Impact of Alcohol on Life Choices29:28 Lessons Learned from Family Success31:10 Teenage Rebellion and Authority Issues33:05 The Journey Begins: A Geographical Escape34:34 The Struggles of Alcoholism: A Year of Excess37:48 The Turning Point: Realizations and Recovery41:08 Finding Support: The Early Days of Sobriety43:12 Facing Second Rock Bottom: Dealing with Trauma47:18 Spiritual Awakening: The Role of Spirituality in Recovery51:26 Family Dynamics: Navigating Relationships in Recovery54:10 Friendship Changes: The Pain of Growing Apart01:00:43 Fatherhood: The Greatest Gift and Responsibility01:03:16 Non-Negotiables: Keys to a Fulfilling LifeYou can connect withCampbell using the links below:Instagram: Campbell ButterssWebsite: Marshall White Real EstateFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with principal consultant and founder of the Energy Collective Co, Jade Donegan, to explore what it really means to care for your inner world while navigating the demands of work, family, and grief. Jade shares how her spirituality helped her to navigate the profound rupture of losing her dad, a loss that reshaped how she sees life, love, and success.She opens up about her journey through grief and forgiveness, the unexpected signs she still receives from her father, and the emotional toll of trying to keep going when your heart is somewhere else. Ash and Jade dive into the importance of emotional health at work, the need for accountability in professional spaces, and how understanding our own energy can change the way we lead, collaborate, and show up for the people around us.Throughout their conversation, Jade reflects on the transformative power of practices like Reiki, and how they’ve helped her build self-awareness, soften self-judgment, and create workplaces where wellbeing is taken seriously. Together, they talk about moving through emotions rather than getting stuck in them, and the courage it takes to let yourself feel everything without shutting down. At its heart, this episode is an invitation to meet yourself with empathy whether you’re sitting in grief, in transition, or in growth. You’ll walk away with insights on how to build a life and career that honour both your humanity and your healing.Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Personal Growth01:51 Meet Jade Donegan: A Journey of Transformation04:04 Daily Life and Finding Joy in Learning08:10 The Move to New Zealand: A Family Adventure11:32 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Impact of Grief19:06 Navigating Grief: A Personal Story of Loss23:44 Navigating Numbness and Helplessness24:26 The Journey of Forgiveness25:55 A Life-Changing Accident28:20 Empathy and Forgiveness in Grief29:36 Signs from Beyond36:50 The Power of Reiki43:03 Workplace Wellbeing and AccountabilityYou can connect with Jade using the links below:http://www.energycollectiveco.com.au/Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with sobriety advocate, author, and entrepreneur, Ian Fee, for a conversation that challenges everything you think you know about recovery.After 34 years of heavy drinking, Ian reached a point where he was willing to try anything to get sober. What followed was one of the most confronting decisions of his life, undergoing 10 days of radical aversion therapy designed to make alcohol physically repulsive. Ian shares what it was really like inside that experience, including daily alcohol-induced vomiting, sedatives and intense therapy. This was the doorway that led him to sobriety and the opportunity to rebuild his life. From losing almost everything to slowly repairing, Ian opens up about healing relationships, restoring self-respect, and learning how to live day by day without escaping himself.Along with losing 85 pounds, Ian has formed a whole new identity and now lives a life that is full of gratitude, purpose and meaning. Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction to Ian Fee's Journey06:11 The Impact of Sobriety on Daily Life12:53 Reflections on Family and Presence18:57 The Evolution of Drinking Habits21:00 Turning Point: Aversion Therapy Experience23:37 Exploring Aversion Therapy for Sobriety26:00 The Turning Point: Realizing the Need for Change28:31 The Shift in Relationships and Support Systems32:02 Finding Purpose Through Storytelling33:04 Building a Foundation for Recovery38:12 Healing Relationships with Children40:47 Non-Negotiables for a Happy LifeYou can connect with Ian using the links below:Website: makeitgreat.meLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ian-fee-6391b112/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Make-It-Great/100034784122106/Link to Book: https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Ride-Sobriety-Transformation-Oblivion/dp/B0DHYR1YST/Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with Carly Schwartz, author of I’ll Try Anything Twice, to talk about what it really looks like to live through the darkest corners of your own mind and make it out the other side. Carly traces her journey from childhood anxiety to years of depression, substance use, and suicidal ideation, sharing the moments of denial, fear, and quiet desperation that shaped her path.She opens up about the turning point of finally naming her addiction and the life-changing experience of going to rehab, not as a neat overnight fix, but as the beginning of a very human, very imperfect recovery. Ash and Carly explore the messy middle of healing: the shame that keeps us silent, the relief of being truly seen, and the deep importance of community and storytelling in breaking through isolation.Throughout their conversation, Carly reflects on what it means to personalise recovery rather than squeeze it into a one-size-fits-all mold. She speaks to the need for flexibility, self-acceptance, and learning to listen to your own needs as they evolve over time. At its heart, this episode is a testament to resilience and connection, a reminder that while recovery is rarely linear, it is always possible, especially when we’re willing to tell the truth, reach out, and let others walk beside us.Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction to Carly Schwartz and Her Journey11:03 The Struggles Behind the Smile17:09 Childhood Anxiety and Early Signs of Depression23:20 The Dark Side of Substance Use and Suicidal Ideation28:26 The Struggle with Substance Use and Denial32:03 The Turning Point: Seeking Help and Going to Rehab37:00 Building a New Life in Recovery45:27 Personalizing Recovery: Finding What Works51:03 The Power of Community in RecoverySupport ServicesIf this conversation has brought anything up for you, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is always available. You can reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support and guidance, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for free counselling.Connect with Carly using the links below:Website - https://www.carly.ink/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/carlicitaLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlicita/Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/236558341-i-ll-try-anything-twiceAmazon - https://www.amazon.com/Ill-Anything-Twice-Misadventures-Self-Medicated/dp/B0FD8RPH9L/Bookshop - https://bookshop.org/p/books/i-ll-try-anything-twice-misadventures-of-a-self-medicated-life-carly-schwartz/591dca26d9b8c510 Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this inspiring episode, Ash sits down with TEDx speaker and award-winning author Melo Calarco—a man who has quite literally cycled to the edges of the world in search of meaning, resilience, and himself. Over 30,000 kilometres across five continents, Melo has learned that the most transformative journey is always the one within.He shares how meditation and mindfulness became the quiet anchors behind his extraordinary adventures, and how facing grief, uncertainty, and physical limits on the road ultimately deepened his understanding of what it means to truly live. Together, Ash and Melo explore the tension between ambition and contentment, and what it looks like to pursue big goals without losing yourself in the chase.Drawing on Eastern philosophies and real-life transformations he has witnessed through his coaching work, Melo offers grounded, practical tools for bringing more presence, flexibility, and fun into everyday life. The conversation is a reminder that growth doesn't always look like pushing harder—sometimes it looks like slowing down, checking in with your values, and choosing joy as a practice. Melo's story is equal parts adventure and wisdom, and a powerful invitation to live more fully, freely, and in alignment with what matters most.Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction to Melo Carlaco01:41 A Day in the Life of Melo05:54 The Importance of Fun and Play06:55 Hiding Behind a Smile: Personal Stories10:02 Navigating Grief and Adversity13:04 The Journey of a Lifetime: Cycling Around the Globe17:47 The Seeds of Meditation20:25 Cultivating the Pause: Reaction vs. Response24:31 Life After Adventure: What Now?27:37 The Aftermath of Achievements: TEDx Experience29:26 Setting Hard Goals for Personal Growth32:06 The Balance of Flexibility and Discipline34:08 Integrating Eastern Philosophies into Coaching39:48 Real-Life Transformations through Mindfulness44:01 The Importance of Presence in Daily Life46:40 Practical Tools for Mindfulness and Presence50:45 Living by Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling LifeConnect with Melo below:BOOK: BEATING BURNOUT FINDING BALANCE FREE CHAPTERMELO's TEDx TALKFREE MEDITATIONS on INSIGHT TIMER STAY CONNECTED on MELO's LINKED INFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!