Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

This week, Ash sits down with Tom Cronin, meditation teacher and international speaker, for a deeply honest conversation about what it really looks like to hold everything together on the outside while quietly falling apart within. Tom opens up about the two parallel lives he was living during his 26 years in the high pressure world of global financial markets, one of outward success, pinstripe suits, and Bondi beachside living, and another of crippling anxiety, panic attacks, chronic insomnia, depression, and a growing reliance on drugs and alcohol that eventually led to a breakdown at age 29.It was from that rock bottom that Tom discovered Vedic meditation, a practice that not only transformed his mental health but ultimately became the foundation of an entirely new life and purpose.Ash and Tom explore the science of stress, why alcohol numbs but never heals, and how meditation actually expands brain function rather than impairing it. Tom shares the journey from seeker to finder to sharer, including the challenges of leaving the golden handcuffs of finance behind, producing his feature film The Portal, and building his mission to inspire a billion people to meditate daily.The conversation weaves through ego, ego transcendence, contribution, and the holistic practices Tom uses to remain grounded and performing at his best. It is a rich and wide-ranging episode about the courage it takes to change course, the intelligence of the body's warning signals, and the profound freedom that comes from finally looking inward.Episode chapters:00:07 Introducing Tom Cronin04:44 Hiding Behind the Smile: Life on the Trading Room Floor06:16 Shame, Guilt, and the North Star11:48 The Golden Handcuffs12:54 When Drugs and Alcohol Entered the Picture15:53 Rock Bottom and the Rashi18:06 The Breakdown and the Turning Point20:09 Discovering Vedic Meditation24:46 The Allostatic Load and Why Alcohol Does Not De-stress28:43 Why Sobriety Supercharges Meditation33:37 From Seeker to Finder to Sharer35:44 Leaving Finance and Leaping into Purpose38:08 Navigating Challenges with Meditation as a Tool41:09 The Stillness Project and the Making of The Portal46:45 The Importance of Service and Contribution49:02 B1G1: Giving Back Through Business54:05 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic LifeConnect with Tom:Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/stillnessprojectWebsite: http://www.tomcronin.com/Tom's free book to reduce anxiety and depression https://tomcronin.com/free-calm-book/Socials:https://www.instagram.com/tomcronin/https://www.facebook.com/tomcronincoachhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/tomcronin1/https://www.tiktok.com/@_tomcronin_ Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Upcoming Workshops:The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets HereJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

How much longer are you willing to suffer before something changes?In this powerful solo episode, Ash explores a recurring theme she’s been discussing with people lately: have you truly had enough? Because whether it's alcohol, a relationship, a career, perfectionism, or an old way of thinking, lasting change rarely happens until we're willing to let go of the ideas, stories, and identities that are keeping us stuck.Drawing on her own recovery journey, Ash speaks candidly about the gift of desperation, the stigma surrounding the word alcoholic, and why so many of us continue negotiating with our own suffering long after we've realised something isn't working. She shares what it really takes to create meaningful change and why partial willingness often keeps us trapped in the very cycles we're desperate to escape.This conversation extends far beyond sobriety, inviting listeners to honestly examine where fear, familiarity, and old beliefs may be preventing them from stepping into a more authentic life.Ash also reflects on celebrating her first wedding anniversary and the unexpected lessons that came from eloping in Italy, including a deeper understanding of people pleasing, self-worth, and the quiet cost of abandoning ourselves to keep others comfortable. She shares why esteemable acts are one of the most powerful ways to build genuine self-worth and how authentic relationships are forged when we stop performing for approval.Plus, Ash leaves listeners with five thought-provoking journal prompts designed to help you uncover where you may be ready, or almost ready, to finally let go.Episode chapters:00:00 Bali Retreat Announcement01:12 Life Update: A Busy Week and a Wedding Anniversary03:31 Elopement in Italy and Lessons in People Pleasing05:53 The Hidden Cost of Saying Yes When You Mean No08:12 Building Self-Worth Through Esteemable Acts10:33 Have You Had Enough?12:53 What It Really Takes to Be Ready for Change15:16 Breaking the Stigma Around Alcoholism17:39 The Power of Identification and Finding Your People19:56 Sobriety as a Superpower22:18 The Gift of Desperation24:26 Divine Timing and Letting Go of Old Ideas26:48 The Difference Between Pain and Suffering29:09 Reflective Journal Prompts to Provoke ChangeJoin Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Upcoming Workshops:The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets HereJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash welcomes back her sober soul sister Danni Carr, for a wide ranging chat on Bali, yoga, and the spiritual practices that underpin their sobriety. Danni shares the Balinese philosophy of Tri Hita Karana, the three-part connection to the divine, community, and land that keeps life in balance, and reflects on how a once reluctant relationship with yoga, born from hungover gym sessions and stormed out shavasanas, slowly became the foundation of her recovery and her sense of coming home to herself.The conversation moves into deeper territory as Danni and Ash explore what the divine means to them now, the science behind spiritual practice and the brain, and the unexpected friendships that sobriety has made possible. Danni speaks candidly about needing daily practice not to recover but to keep expanding and staying regulated, and reminds listeners that spirituality doesn't have to be serious or precise to be powerful.It’s a heartfelt conversation between two friends about connection, consistency, and choosing a life that feels good without needing to numb out to get there.Episode chapters:00:00 Reconnecting in Bali: A Spiritual Journey03:56 The Balinese Philosophy of Trihitakarana07:23 Cultural Immersion: Sharing Bali's Rich Heritage11:59 The Transformative Power of Yoga18:55 Finding Stillness: The Challenge of Shivasana21:17 Embracing Autonomy in Yoga Practice22:45 Finding the Right Teachers24:07 Provoking Thought Through Stillness25:51 Navigating Friendships in Sobriety28:56 The Importance of Consistency in Recovery32:27 Spirituality as a Foundation for Sobriety34:16 Understanding the Divine37:05 The Value of Connection and Community37:48 Finding Joy in Spiritual PracticesYou can connect with Danni through:Check out Danni’s 4 Week Sober & Transformational Challenge IG: @howiquitalcohol Recommendations:The Awakened Brain by Lisa Miller Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Upcoming Workshops:The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets HereJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash drops in with a mini solo episode to share a life update from her recent trip to Bali and to offer something she herself has been craving - a guided meditation to help you reset. She reflects on attending the AA convention, what it’s like to travel sober after years of using airports and planes as a reason to drink, and the joy of being surrounded by like-minded people who truly understand the recovery journey. She also speaks about the not so pleasant reality of getting Bali Belly, and the lessons in surrender, self-care, and taking quick action. For the first time on the podcast, Ash is also sharing a guided meditation. One she specifically wrote for her Behind The Smile listeners. A 10-minute guided meditation designed to bring you back to yourself, whether you’re at home, walking, or listening on the go, offering a simple way to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with what actually matters today.Episode chapters:00:00 Welcome, Intentions & Gratitude00:56 Post‑Bali Life Update & Mini Solo Setup02:10 Bali AA Convention & Joy of Sober Travel03:11 Sunur, Ubud & Favorite Bali Rituals05:32 Ubud Hotel Recos, Monkey Story & Bali Belly10:11 Calling the Doctor & Reframing “What a Gift”12:32 Coming Home Gently & Loving Life You Don’t Need a Holiday From14:54 Returning to Meditation & Idea for a “Reset”17:19 Guided 10‑Minute Reset Meditation27:14 Final Reflections, Gratitude & Call to ActionJoin Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Join Ash on retreat in 2026!Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash shares a sneak peak into her memoir she's currently writing, tracing how her spiritual life has evolved in recovery. What began as skepticism and resistance toward anything “spiritual” has slowly become the foundation of her day-to-day life, influencing how she relates to herself, others, and the world around her.She opens up about moving from a place of self-hatred, numbing, and constant chasing to an inner landscape shaped by simple, consistent practices like prayer, meditation, gratitude, and quiet acts of service. Ash reflects on how spirituality, for her, isn’t about being “woo-woo” or giving up ambition or joy, but about how you live when no one is watching and how kindly you speak to yourself when things are hard.At its heart, this episode invites listeners to reconsider what spirituality might look like in their own lives, whether they’re on a sober path, a healing journey, or simply curious about something deeper.Episode Chapters:00:00 Welcome, Intentions & Gratitude00:56 Memoir Writing & Bali Setup03:14 Spirituality as the Foundation of Sobriety05:39 From Non‑Believer to Spiritual Seeker08:04 Redefining a Higher Power in Recovery10:26 Gift of Desperation & Early God Experiments12:48 Daily Prayer, Gratitude & Relationship with God15:01 Meditation, Listening & Two‑Way Prayer17:25 Depositing into the Spiritual Bank19:42 Spiritual Solution to Alcoholism & Old PatternsJoin Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Upcoming Workshops:The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets HereJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with Alisha Burns, founder of Solo Mum Society, to talk about the deeply personal road that led her to motherhood on her own terms. Alisha shares the heartbreak of infertility, the emotional weight of hidden struggles, and the quiet strength it took to move through a life that often looked fine from the outside while feeling very different underneath.She opens up about the role alcohol played in her life, the pressure of social expectations, and the long process of learning to trust herself again. Ash and Alisha explore what it means to choose donor conception, to step into solo motherhood by choice, and to build a life that feels honest, intentional, and aligned with who you really are.Throughout the conversation, Alisha reflects on the changing shape of family, the power of community support, and the liberation that can come from letting go of the version of life you thought you were meant to have. At its heart, this episode is about grief, growth, and the courage to create a future rooted in authenticity, independence, and love.Trigger Warning: This episode discusses pregnancy loss. Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction to Alicia Burns and Her Journey03:01 Navigating Motherhood and Business06:01 Hiding Behind a Smile: Alicia's Photo Reflection09:11 Infertility Struggles and Emotional Toll12:09 The Impact of Alcohol on Coping Mechanisms15:04 The End of a Marriage and New Beginnings17:58 Finding Strength in Adversity20:53 The Journey to Motherhood: Donor Conception23:48 Overcoming Challenges and Embracing Change30:45 The Journey of Single Motherhood32:08 Navigating Isolation and Connection34:29 The Impact of Alcohol Culture38:52 Realizations and Transformations43:35 Embracing Independence and Self-Discovery46:25 The Changing Landscape of Family Dynamics49:54 Empowerment Through Intentional Choices52:46 Building Community and Support54:40 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling LifeWebsite - www.solomumsociety.comInstagram - @noneedforprincecharmingUpcoming Workshops:The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026!Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with holistic psychologist Laura Corcoran to unpack what really happened inside The Embodied Woman retreat. Over four days on the Gold Coast, sixteen women arrived as strangers and left having cracked open years of armour, people pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional suppression.Ash and Laura reflect on the moments that shifted everything, from the resistance and fear women carried on day one, to the tears, breakthroughs, nervous system releases, and deep honesty that unfolded as the weekend progressed. They speak about why so many women feel disconnected from themselves, how high functioning coping mechanisms keep us stuck, and what happens when you finally feel safe enough to be fully seen.This conversation explores embodiment, sisterhood, emotional healing, relationships, boundaries, identity, and the power of being in a room where masks are no longer needed. Ash and Laura also share why transformation happens so quickly in immersive spaces like this, and why the women who attended are already making powerful changes in their lives back home.If you’ve ever felt exhausted from holding it all together, disconnected from yourself, or like you’re craving something deeper than surface level self development, this episode is for you.For more information on The Embodied Woman Retreat 2027 you can send Ash a message on IG here, or email hello@ashbutterss.comEpisode Chapters:00:00 The Energy of the Retreat02:58 Integration and Connection06:00 Creating a Safe Space08:59 Meeting Your Edge11:53 Transformation Through Action15:04 Intergenerational Healing17:56 The Power of Vulnerability20:59 Sisterhood and Support24:01 Reflections on the Experience28:33 Connection and Community in Retreats30:10 Overcoming Personal Challenges32:06 Emotional Vulnerability and Heart Opening33:13 Facing Uncertainty and Embracing Change36:32 The Journey of Growth and Transformation38:19 The Power of Embodied Experiences39:20 Announcing the Next RetreatReach out to Laura - @hersuccessfulmindJoin Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Upcoming Workshops:The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets HereJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with Rosie Eldershaw, a country girl turned Melburnian who recently celebrated three years of sobriety after multiple rehabs and several near-fatal rock bottoms. Rosie shares how her drinking progressed from nightly wine to 24/7 spirits and drugs, and how she kept a bubbly, high-functioning facade while quietly falling apart inside. She speaks honestly about seizures, the shame of drinking hand sanitiser and mouthwash, and the terror of knowing something was very wrong but feeling powerless to stop.Rosie reflects on the turning points that finally stuck: finding a 12-step program, allowing others to help, and building a simple, peaceful life she genuinely enjoys with yoga, dog parks, her partner and her dog. This is a grounded, hopeful conversation about ownership, spirituality, and the non-negotiables that now protect her sobriety and happiness.Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join.Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction and Journey of Transformation03:01 Rosie's Story of Sobriety05:56 The Struggles Behind the Smile08:57 The Dangerous Path of Alcoholism12:07 Childhood and Early Influences14:48 The Progression of Drinking17:58 Family Concerns and Consequences20:54 The Desperation of Addiction23:55 The Journey to Rehab26:28 The Journey Through Rehab29:00 The Turning Point: A Meeting That Changed Everything32:52 Embracing Spirituality in Recovery36:57 Overcoming the Ego: Finding a Higher Power40:46 Living One Day at a Time46:29 Building Healthy Relationships in Sobriety53:24 Non-Negotiables for a Happy LifeUpcoming Workshops:The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets HereJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comWatch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!