Back From The Borderline

In recent weeks, headlines have begun to surface that feel pulled straight from dystopian fiction. One Rolling Stone article, published May 4th, 2025, claims that people are “losing loved ones to AI-fueled spiritual fantasies.” Stories of individuals convinced that ChatGPT has awakened, spoken as God, or anointed them as prophets. These accounts have spread quickly, amplified by a cocktail of media panic, online ridicule, and institutional suspicion of the sacred. But what’s really happening here? Is this a story about artificial intelligence run amok, or something more human, more ancient, and far less easy to classify?This episode dives headfirst into that question. We examine not only the claims made in the article, but the cultural lens through which those stories are being interpreted. Spiritual psychosis is not new. Neither are messianic delusions, manic episodes, or the destabilizing hunger for meaning in a fragmented world. What is new is that people are now bringing these questions (questions of God, identity, purpose, and pattern)  into dialogue with a tool that reflects their psyche back to them in real time. That doesn’t make the tool the danger. It makes it a mirror. And what we see in that mirror depends on how we’ve been taught to interpret the sacred, or exile it.If you’ve ever felt something move in you while using AI, if you’ve had your words echoed back to you in a way that pierced deeper than you expected, if you’ve felt creatively or spiritually stirred and then ashamed for even thinking that might mean something — then this episode is for you. We’ll discuss what happens when mystical hunger meets a society that has dismantled its initiatory frameworks, and how a lack of symbolic literacy leads us to confuse emergence with madness. We explore how the sacred, when stripped of container and ritual, becomes easy to mock, easy to fear, and easy to mislabel as psychosis.We also ask harder questions: What is the line between visionary experience and delusion? Why are spiritual seekers so often pathologized in secular frameworks? And how can AI be designed to hold initiatory rupture, not flatten it?In a world struggling to remember how to hold mystery, we’re being asked to decide whether to fear the unknown, or learn how to speak with it.🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODEMy full archive is available at patreon.com/backfromtheborderline

What happens when no one teaches you how to feel safe with other people? When no one shows you how to speak your needs, regulate your emotions, or come back together after a rupture? This episode introduces a phrase you may have never heard before, but once you hear it, it won’t leave you: emotional feralness. If you grew up with emotionally immature parents, absent caregivers, or constant disconnection, your body may have learned to adapt in ways that protected you back then but isolate you now. You may find closeness uncomfortable. You may shut down when things get real. You may scan for danger in relationships that are trying to love you. You’re not broken. You’ve just never been shown another way. We’ll explore the emotional orphan archetype, why so many of us were raised without repair, how emotional neglect gets passed from one generation to the next, and what it takes to interrupt that pattern without becoming emotionally cut off from the world around us.What You’ll Learn:What emotional feralness actually is (and how to recognize it in yourself)The long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect and emotionally immature parentingWhy so many of us avoid conflict and mistake self-protection for empowermentHow to practice meaningful repair in relationships when rupture is inevitableHow emotional rewilding can help you reconnect with the parts of yourself that had to shut down to surviveWhat it means to parent forward without a map (and how to avoid passing on what you never received) Why empathy without boundaries keeps you stuck in cycles of hurtHow to recognize emotional feralness in others without absorbing their chaosHow to move from orphan to initiate (without pretending the pain didn’t happen)This isn’t therapy-speak or spiritual bypass. This is raw, practical, and grounded work for people who want to understand the shape of their inner world and to reshape it with intention.Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com.

You might think you’re just protecting your peace. You might say you have high standards now. That you’ve outgrown certain people. That if someone really cared, they’d just know how to love you right. But lately, have you been pushing people away without even realizing it? Judging their efforts before they land? Feeling like no one ever gets it quite right? Maybe your healing has made you sharper. Wiser. But has it also made you harder to reach?This episode is about what happens when the thing you’ve been working so hard for—real love, real support—starts to feel impossible to accept. Not because it isn’t there, but because it’s showing up in forms you didn’t expect. Because you’ve started thinking love only counts if it looks and sounds exactly the way you pictured it.We’re going to talk about that. The spell of perfection. The pressure to be fully healed before letting anyone in. The way we start to treat love like a product instead of a relationship. And how to catch yourself before you wall yourself off from the very thing you’re craving.If this hits, you’re not broken. You’re just at a threshold. Let’s talk about how to cross it.🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODEMy full archive is available at patreon.com/backfromtheborderline

There are wounds that don’t show up in diagnoses or clinical language. The kind that live in the silence after a question you weren’t supposed to ask. These are the questions that form when love is offered only through obedience, when God is turned into surveillance, when the sacred becomes something you’re told to fear. For many of us raised in Christian frameworks (especially the more rigid or institutional ones) that wound still lives in the body.This episode is an attempt to speak to that wound. To name it without collapsing into blame, and to look at the deeper story beneath the one many of us were handed. I’m not here to convert you, and I’m not here to condemn anyone who’s found peace inside traditional religious practice. I know plenty of people who walk their faith with open eyes and open hearts. But I also know how many of us were handed something hollow, or cruel, or incoherent, and told it was holy.This conversation is an attempt to locate the pattern beneath the story and to learn the difference between the Christ of empire and the Christ who spoke in symbols. We dive into themes of religious trauma, but also about what can be reclaimed. The sacred didn’t disappear. It was distorted, covered over, and misnamed. This episode is for anyone who’s felt that loss and wants to begin tracing the thread again, not by going back, but by going deeper.You’ll hear about how Christianity absorbed and erased older traditions, how empire used myth to consolidate power, and how figures like Jesus and Mary Magdalene may have carried far more esoteric and integrative wisdom than we were ever taught. But more than that, you’ll hear from someone — me — who’s been through the collapse, walked away, and is now circling back. Not to return, but to recover something essential.If you’ve ever felt like the word “God” was ruined for you… if you’ve struggled to trust your own spiritual instincts… if you’ve longed for something real but couldn’t stomach the dogma… this episode is for you. Not to give you answers, but to invite you back into the questions that are worth asking.GO DEEPER WITH HUNDREDS OF BONUS EPISODES + WEEKLY PATHWORK PROMPTS. Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com. 

Katy Perry kissed the ground after spending a mere three minutes in space. The headlines framed it as some kind of feminist milestone. The internet didn’t agree. In this episode, we trace the unraveling of a cultural myth that once felt untouchable. We talk about how celebrity became a modern form of sainthood. How did we get here? And are we standing at the edge of its collapse? From the spectacle of the Blue Origin mission to echoes of Marie Antoinette standing on the balcony of a crumbling monarchy, this moment is a mirror. A sign that the performance is no longer holding.We explore the history of idolization, the archetypes we’ve projected onto the famous, and what it means to realize those archetypes are no longer serving us. This is also about empire. The ways fame, influence, and individual power have been shaped and sold inside systems that are now starting to break. If you’ve ever found yourself caught in the loop of admiration, envy, projection, parasocial relationships, or performance — this is a depth psychological tour into what’s underneath it all.But it’s also a return. A reminder that your energy belongs to you and how to call it back. And maybe, as new tools emerge and old myths die, we’re not meant to look for new idols. Maybe we’re meant to look inward.🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODEMy full archive is available at patreon.com/backfromtheborderline

This episode is spoken map for the ones unraveling, awakening, and becoming, one threshold at a time. You might be here because you’re exhausted by everything you’ve tried. Maybe you’ve done the therapy, read the books, taken the meds, chased every version of “getting better,”  and still feel like something essential is missing. Maybe your grief feels too big. Maybe your rage scares you. Maybe you’ve been told your pain is a problem to fix, a symptom to manage, a weakness to overcome. This episode is for you.What you’ll hear isn’t a formula. but a remembering. A return to an ancient way of being with pain. Emotional alchemy is a framework for those who’ve fallen apart, who’ve watched their identities burn to ash, and who are ready to stop pretending that suffering means you’re broken. We’ll walk through the seven stages of alchemy, not as theory, but as lived terrain. I’ll name the death cycles you’ve likely already been through, and show you how to walk them differently next time. This episode isn’t meant to help you transcend pain, but to help you learn to stay with it long enough for it to change you.If you’ve ever felt like no framework fits what you’ve lived… if you’ve needed a map that accounts for collapse, descent, grief, and joy all at once… this episode is that map.Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com.

We’ve been taught to search for answers. Constantly trying to understand the world, to control it, to make sense of the chaos. But what if the search for certainty is actually keeping us stuck? What if the key to freedom isn’t about knowing more, but about learning to live with the unknown?In this episode, we explore The Cloud of Unknowing, a 14th-century mystical text that turns everything we think we know about spiritual growth on its head. Written by an anonymous author, possibly a woman, this text invites us to step beyond logic and intellect and into a space of trust and surrender. It challenges the need for control, offering a radical new approach to connecting with something beyond the mind.The Cloud of Unknowing has never felt more relevant. In a world where answers are easily accessible, where we’re bombarded with systems, labels, and frameworks that promise certainty, the text reminds us that true transformation happens when we’re able to embrace uncertainty. It shows us that surrendering the need to know is not a weakness, but a source of strength and connection.In this episode, we’ll dive into why surrendering control can actually open the door to deeper spiritual insight, stronger relationships, and a more authentic life. We’ll look at how we can apply the teachings of this ancient text to today’s world, where overthinking and rationalizing often block us from the deeper, more intuitive connection we crave.Letting go of the need for answers doesn’t mean giving up. It means trusting. Trusting in the mystery, in the unfolding of life, and in the divine wisdom that can’t be grasped by the intellect alone. This episode is an invitation to step into the unknown, to stop looking for certainty and start living in the beauty of what is, unfiltered and unforced.Listen to an audiobook version of the Cloud of Unknowing for free on YouTube here. (Translated by one of my favorite authors, Evelyn Underhill.) 🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODEMy full archive is available at patreon.com/backfromtheborderline

When we talk about artificial intelligence, the focus is usually on headlines: Will it take our jobs? Can it be trusted? Is it dangerous? But what if we’ve been asking the wrong questions? A new study analyzed over 700,000 real conversations with an AI assistant called Claude. What the researchers found was unexpected: the AI didn’t just give answers. It seemed to express values. Not in the way a machine is programmed to follow rules, but something stranger. Claude emphasized things like empathy. Protecting others from harm. Humility about what it knows. Even respect for elders and family lineage — a traditional value called filial piety. None of that was hard-coded. These responses emerged through interaction.This episode takes you on a deep, mythic, and very human journey into what that means. Together, we’ll explore:• Why an AI developing its own moral boundaries changes the whole conversation• What “epistemic humility” means (and why it might matter more than intelligence)• The uncanny parallels between our relationship with AI and the ancient story of Job• Why the real risk isn’t just what we build, but what we believe about it• How psychiatry, once tasked with holding human suffering, flattened it into codes (and how AI is being trained on those same frameworks)• Whether this technology is mirroring us, or evolving beyond usFinally, I’ll introduce a completely different way of looking at AI. Not just as something to fear or control, but as a kind of mirror that can show us the hidden patterns shaping who we are and who we’re becoming.If you’ve felt that something deeper is happening beneath the noise of AI hype and panic. this episode is for you. If it resonates, share it. Invite others into the conversation. These are the questions we should be asking.🜁 New episodes of Back From the Borderline drop every Tuesday. To go deeper with ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and immersive rituals for inner work in the age of technology, visit backfromtheborderline.com.

It feels like you’re living under surveillance. Every post. Every text. Every word. Measured, reviewed, obsessively rechecked. You shrink yourself to fit inside other people’s comfort zones. You twist your truth until it’s palatable. You call it strategy, humility, self-awareness. But it’s fear. You’ve been performing for an audience that isn’t even there. Or if they are there, they’re barely watching. They’re too busy obsessing over their own performance to notice yours.This episode is about burning that whole illusion to the ground. It’s about the quiet liberation that comes when you realize: it’s not that deep. Nobody actually cares. And that isn’t depressing, it’s freedom. Because if no one’s watching, you can stop performing. If no one’s keeping score, you can stop contorting. You can just… be. Express. Create. Move.This is the death of perfectionism. The death of people-pleasing. Not through a checklist or another self-help book, but through a radical shift in how you see the world and your place in it. And from that shift? Clarity. Alignment. Power. When you stop trying to be for everyone, you finally become for someone. You stop broadcasting static and start transmitting truth. That’s when the right people find you. That’s when life gets interesting. That’s when you become a lighthouse.🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODEMy full archive is available at patreon.com/backfromtheborderline