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  • 33. The B-Word: Mastering Boundaries with Nedra Tawwab

    50:13
    When you think about boundaries, what emotions come up for you? Since you listen to this podcast, you probably think that the idea of boundaries is appropriate — that people should have the right to set them. But that doesn’t mean you find it easy to set boundaries. Humans, particularly women, are raised to be likable. And for a lot of people, “likable” and “boundaries” are oxymorons. I teach people how to set boundaries every week. But when it comes to setting them in my personal life, I squirm. Everywhere I look I hit a blind spot. Lucky for both of us, today’s guest is a powerhouse when it comes to understanding and teaching boundaries. Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed clinical social worker, and author of the New York Times bestseller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself.”In this episode, you’ll learn:Nedra’s definition of boundaries.The boundary people cross most often.Why women who set boundaries can be confused with being demanding, difficult, or a diva.AND… Nedra gives me some tips to use myself!Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESSet Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming YourselfThe Boundaries Flip Chart: A Psychoeducational Tool to Help Clients Set Healthy Limits, Develop Fulfilling Relationships, and Reclaim Their WorthDrama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family RelationshipsThe Set Boundaries Workbook: Practical Exercises for Understanding Your Needs and Setting Healthy LimitsConsider This: Reflections for Finding PeaceCREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.  DISCLAIMER#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #boundaries #SetBoundaries#SettingBoundaries #PersonalBoundaries #HealthyBoundaries #BoundariesAreHealthy #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy #NedraGloverTawwab #NedraTawwabInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube.

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  • 32. Social Media's Impact on Youth Mental Health

    42:11
    I spent the first 15 years of my career working with teenagers, studying child and adolescent development. And what I can tell you is that throughout history, adults have consistently seen new technologies as potential threats, and we’ve been particularly concerned about the harm those technologies can have on children. It’s part of the reason why I’ve been slow to join the hand wringing around social media. Which doesn’t mean I’m dismissing the concerns. I’m clear that social media has played a role in triggering certain mental health issues. But a few weeks ago, the American Surgeon General proposed that social media platforms be required to publish a general warning about the danger to mental health, in much the same way we label alcohol and tobacco products with warnings. And it made me wonder if the adults in the room are once again viewing normal adolescent behaviors and misattributing the causes to the newest, loudest technology of the moment. Is this a real thing? Or the latest moral panic? In this episode, you’ll learn:What the surgeon general proposes for social media warnings.If the rise in mental health issues is truly related to the rise of social media.Whether any good can come from social media.Xxoo DarcyCREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.  DISCLAIMER#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Neuroscience #YouthMentalHealth #MentalHealthStigma #DigitalWellBeing #TeenMentalHealth #DigitalDetox #PositiveMentalHealth #MentalHealthTips #Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcyInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 
  • 31. Micro-Marriages: Because “till death do us part” isn’t great odds.

    38:49
    Marriage, today, is a very long partnership. Half a century or more, if you do it in your 20’s and you’re lucky enough to live out the average lifespan in the USA: 77. When I think about the length of that intended commitment, I wonder how reasonable it is that we expect anyone to make it. I’m going to use a very unromantic analogy here: Making a long-term commitment can be a little like a teacher who gets tenure. You just don’t try as hard. Because you don’t have to. You’ve got job security.There’s no meaningful annual review because you know they can’t fire you. And with marriage, the emphasis is on honoring the commitment. Not on how each of you shows up.Over the years, I have often thought that we’d be better quality partners if our commitments were shorter. Time-limited. If, instead of promising forever, we made micro-commitments. If we had marriages. 3 years. 5 years. Pick your interval. That way there’s an incentive to keep working at it. To keep trying.Because both partners know that there’s a date by when they’ll meet to reevaluate how happy they are. How compatible they still are. In this episode, you’ll learn:What a micro-marriage is and how it differs from a traditional marriage.The psychological benefits of a micro-marriage.How to suggest a micro-marriage to your partner if you’re so inclined.AND… for the critics who would judge me for proposing micro-marriages, I explain the ways in which micro-marriages already exist in society today. So there. 😉Xxoo DarcyREFERENCEShttps://www.tandfonline.com/doi/epdf/10.1080/13229400.2021.1952889?needAccess=truehttps://ri.urd.ac.ir/article_113827.html https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-Kdsb-2fR6iIWr8zrw3L6mdVPw9GvDCA/viewhttps://heinonline.org/HOL/LandingPage?handle=hein.journals/jlfst10&div=21&id=&page=https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/11207Link to VIA Survey Character Strengths hereCREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.  DISCLAIMER#LoveAndMarriage #MicroMarriages #ModernMarriage #MicroWedding#MarriageAdvice #MarriagePodcast #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipAdvice#RealTalkRelationships #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #DrDarcySterling #DrDarcyInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 
  • 30. Why Some People Need To Hit Rock Bottom To Get Help, With Dr. Tamir Aldad

    49:13
    I love a good redemption story.And few things epitomize redemption better than successful recovery from addiction. One of the fundamental aspects to recovery is a notion that you have to hit rock bottom to realize you are no longer a recreational user who has any control over how much, when, and where you use. But what is it about needing to reach a breaking point in order to decide, once and for all, that you’re done using substances? Joining me in this discussion is Dr. Tamir Aldad, an addiction psychiatrist and CEO of Mindful Care.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why “rock bottom” is a thing in addiction — and how we all play a role in that. The new trend of harm reduction treatment versus complete abstinence — and why it works. The hardest drug to come off of. The answer may surprise you!Xxoo DarcyCREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. This episode is dedicated to Kenny, with love. DISCLAIMER#Addiction #Recovery #AddictionRecovery #SoberLiving #Sobriety #SoberCommunity #EndStigma #Sober #HarmReduction #SoberLife#AddictionAwareness #SoberSupport #MentalHealthMatters #OneDayAtATime #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts#RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipExperts #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling#DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcyInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 
  • 29. Secrets: The Price Of Keeping Quiet

    13:53
    I keep secrets for a living. That’s more or less what a therapist does. But in my personal life, I don’t want anything to do with them. I don’t find delight in them whatsoever. To me, they’re an imposition. Humans are hardwired to feel valued when someone confides in us. It scratches an evolutionary itch that can leave us feeling bonded to the person who shared the secret. But that’s only the case when the secret doesn’t directly impact you. There’s an old expression: “You’re only as sick as your secrets.”In this episode, you’ll learn:The difference between being “private” and keeping a secret.The types of secrets that are most damaging to your mental health. The surprising amount of secrets the average person keeps.AND… I share the reason why I refuse to be on the receiving end of secrets in my personal life.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES Categories of secrets The Bright Side of Secrecy: The Energizing Effect of Positive Secrets It takes two (or more): The social nature of secretsWhat you don't know might hurt me: Keeping secrets in interpersonal relationshipshttps://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/09/hidden-world-secretshttps://www.columbia.edu/~ms4992/secrets/keepingsecrets.htmlCREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.  DISCLAIMER#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #Secrets #Secret #FamilySecret #FamilySecrets #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy#Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcyInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 
  • 28. “You’re Not Listening!” with Stephanie Sterling

    43:24
    Guess who you get to meet in this episode? My WIFE, Steph Sterling. Today’s topic is all about communication.And in the spirit of walking the walk, I felt there’d be no better person to have this conversation with than the person who is on the receiving end of the ways I communicate, so I invited my wife, Steph Sterling, to join me for this episode. Steph has been a practicing therapist for 18 years. She and I met when we were at NYU. She was getting her Master’s Degree in clinical social work. I was getting my PhD in clinical social work.And since then, Steph has carved out a specialty for herself in couples therapy. She is Certified in Imago Therapy. She is trained under John Gottman.Today, she co-owns my practice, Alternatives Counseling. And when it comes to helping hurt people understand each other and reconnect, I’ve never seen anyone better at it than her.Come hang with me and my better half and hear Steph’s take on my communication strengths and weaknesses!Xxoo DarcyCREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling with editorial support from Vicki Vergolina. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.  DISCLAIMER#Communication #CommunicationMatters #communicationskills #communicationtips #communicationskillstraining #RelationshipGoals#Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #PodcastLove#WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcyInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 
  • 27. How to stay in love for years, decades, or even forever.

    48:11
    If you have experience with long-term relationships, you probably expect the wild passion of the beginning to fade over time.It’s a bit of a trade off: You accept that in exchange for diminishing fireworks, you get the comfort and security that comes from being in a stable, committed relationship.But what if you didn’t have to trade one for the other?What if there was a way to keep the passion alive for years, decades, or forever? In this episode, I take the work of Dr. Arthur Aron, a Research Professor of Psychology at Stony Brook University, and I add a framework that can increase the emotional connection you feel with your partner — and make it feel like it did in the beginning.Aron is best known for a New York Times article that went viral a few years ago called, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” which featured a list of 36 questions which, according to Aron, can provoke two strangers to fall in love. In this episode, you’ll learn:6 steps that create deeper intimacy between you and your partner. The relationship skills that are most crucial to a fulfilling relationship.The daily habits that will remind you of why you picked your partner in the first place (and fell in love!).Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESReis HT, Aron A. Love: What Is It, Why Does It Matter, and How Does It Operate? Perspect Psychol Sci. 2008 Jan;3(1):80-6. doi: 10.1111/j.1745-6916.2008.00065.x. PMID: 26158672.https://news.berkeley.edu/2015/02/12/love-in-the-lab/To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do this36 questionshttps://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-contempt/#:~:text=can%20be%20defeated.-,Contempt%20is%20the%20worst%20of%20the%20four%20horsemen.,number%20one%20predictor%20of%20divorce.Sun Therapy LampCREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling, with editorial support from Vicki Vergolina. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. DISCLAIMER#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships#RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage#PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounselingb#CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling#DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcyInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling Twitter:@DrDarcySterling YouTube:@DarcySterling Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch This Episode Here On YouTube.