We Need To Talk… with Dr. Darcy Sterling

In 2018, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina made headlines around the world by doing something radical in a courtroom: She listened. During the sentencing hearing for Larry Nassar—a doctor who sexually abused over 150 women and girls under the guise of medical treatment—she operated her courtroom with a level of sensitivity and sophistication that we rarely see outside of a therapist’s office, giving each survivor the opportunity to speak, validating their pain and allowing their stories to be heard in a system that so often silences them.In this episode, I sit down with Judge Aquilina to talk about trauma, justice, and what happens when survivors are finally believed. We explore the emotional toll of reporting sexual abuse, the institutional failures that allowed Nassar’s abuse to continue for decades, and how one judge’s empathy became a turning point in the #MeToo movement.⚠️ Content warning: This episode contains explicit discussions of sexual abuse and trauma, including the crimes committed by Larry Nassar. Please listen with care.Topics we cover:Why so many survivors of sexual assault stay silent.How institutions fail to protect victims—and protect abusers instead.The power of being believed and heard in a courtroom.Judge Aquilina’s unique role in a landmark case—and how she holds space for survivor healing.What justice can look like when it centers empathy and accountability.If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual violence, support is available. Visit RAINN.org or call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.AlternativesCounseling.comDarcy’s Hair: TheHairPlayStudio.comJust Watch MeSpeak Up: Lessons in Trusting Your InstinctsCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube.

We talk a lot about rebuilding emotional trust after infidelity. But what happens when it’s time to rebuild sexual trust—the kind that requires you to feel safe enough to be vulnerable again in your body?In this episode of We Need To Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling, Dr. Darcy sits down with renowned sex therapist Dr. Emily Jamea to explore what couples often don’t anticipate: how hard it can be to reclaim desire after betrayal.Together, they unpack the disconnect between forgiveness and physical intimacy, why the body doesn’t always follow the heart, and what it really takes to get the sex back after trust has been broken.You’ll Learn:Why intimacy often triggers fear, resentment, or shame post-betrayal.What makes physical reconnection harder than emotional forgiveness.How to rebuild sexual trust after infidelity.AND… Dr. Emily and I both weigh in on how we’d respond to infidelity in our respective marriages. This is a great conversation — I highly recommend listening. Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareAnatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate PassionCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Robyn Jaenchen, and Ines Gout. DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Everything You’ve Been Taught About Intimacy Is WrongToday’s episode is one I couldn’t wait to bring back. It’s a listener favorite that’s just as powerful now as when it first aired. If you missed it the first time, you’re in for something special — and if you didn’t, you’ll get even more out of it this time:Everything you thought you knew about intimacy? Michaela Boehm is here to challenge it.Michaela Boehm is a renowned intimacy expert and celebrity relationship coach whose unconventional approach flips traditional relationship advice on its head.In this episode, we reveal:Why date nights can backfire on your romantic connection.How casual touch may be dulling your sexual chemistry over time.Why fading attraction can actually be a sign of relationship growth.If you’re looking for practical intimacy tips and a fresh perspective on love, sex, and relationships, this is a must-listen.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareThe Wild Woman's Way: Reconnect to Your Body's Wisdom (A Woman's Guide to Spiritual Growth)*We could not locate the study on oysters mentioned in the episode. CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

I’m a Catch. So Why Am I Still Single?These days, “being a catch” has become its own kind of identity. Career? On point. Emotional intelligence? Check. Working with a therapist? Obviously.But if you’re still single—and tired of pretending not to care—this episode is for you.Ashtyn and I unpack the disconnect between being successful in life and why that doesn’t always translate to success in love.We break down:How high-achieving habits can create unexpected barriers in dating.How high standards can get in the way of emotional availability.What it really means to be a “catch”—beyond the résumé.Whether you’re dating, healing, or just trying to make sense of why love feels so elusive, this conversation will give you the clarity you didn’t know you needed.Because the goal isn’t to look like a catch.It’s to become one.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

We all have a “type”—but what if your type is actually the problem?In this solo episode, I break down how the people we’re most drawn to often reflect the dynamics we grew up with—even when those dynamics were painful or unhealthy. From the brooding artist to the charming extrovert who leaves you craving more, our attraction isn’t always about compatibility—it’s about familiarity.You’ll learn:Why your nervous system might be confusing love with chaos.How childhood experiences shape your attraction blueprint.What it takes to break toxic dating patterns without giving up on passion.And how to stop chasing the highs and start building something real.Whether you’re single or in a relationship that keeps feeling like a roller coaster, this episode will give you the clarity—and the tools—you need to finally break the cycle.If you listen to 1 podcast this month, THIS IS IT. Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindfulCarehttps://alternativescounseling.lpages.co/connecting-the-dots/CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Most of us think we’d know how to help if someone we loved was struggling with their mental health.But here’s the truth: Mental health crises rarely look the way we expect. They don’t come with warning sirens or dramatic breakdowns. They come with canceled plans. Short texts. “I’m just tired.” A fake smile and a quick change of subject.In this episode of We Need to Talk, I sat down with Dr. Joseph Donnelly and Elena Saldutti—two experts in Mental Health First Aid—to talk about the signs we miss, the instincts we get wrong, and the simple ways we can all learn to show up better for the people we love.Whether you’ve been on the receiving end of well-meaning but misguided support—or you’ve stayed silent, unsure of what to say—this will change the way you think about helping someone in crisis.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why most of us hesitate to speak up (and how to get past that fear).How to recognize the early signs of emotional distress.What not to say to someone who’s struggling.How Mental Health First Aid works—and why it’s as essential as CPR.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES / RESOURCESMental Health First Aid: mentalhealthfirstaid.orgNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741Mental Health First Aid CitationBridging the Gap: Empowering Teachers and Supporting Students with Mental Health First Aid. Social Emotional Learning CitationEnhancing Health Education: The Role of Social Emotional Learning in PreK-12 Students' Well-being. Social Media CitationPublic Health Implications of Social Media on Adolescent Health Behaviors: Upstream Approaches to Prevention Strategies. CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Most people are going to want to skip this episode.I get it—grief is uncomfortable. It’s messy. It brings up stuff we’d rather avoid.But if you want to develop strong relationship skills—if you want to be the kind of person who shows up when it matters—this is mandatory listening.We don’t talk about grief until we have to. And even then, most of us don’t know what to do. Do we check in? Give space? Bring up the loss—or avoid it altogether?In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, author of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body. She’s one of the world’s leading grief researchers, and she’s here to help us understand what actually helps when someone we love is hurting.We talk about what grief does to the brain and body, why so many of us disappear during someone else’s grief, and how to show up better—even when you don’t know what to say.This conversation might challenge you—but it’ll make you a better partner, friend, and human. Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareFinding The Words Colin CampbellThe Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and LossThe Grieving Body: How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for HealingCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robin Jaenchen. DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling  YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Trying to find the right therapist can feel like a job—especially when every Psychology Today bio starts sounding the same. And in a world where therapists market themselves on Instagram, it’s harder than ever to tell who’s actually good… and who just has a good aesthetic.In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Sarah Coe-Odess—a licensed clinical psychologist and therapist-matching expert—to break down the most common mistakes people make when choosing a therapist. From red flags to look out for, to how to find affordable options that actually help, this conversation gives you the tools you need to stop guessing and start healing.Whether you're starting therapy for the first time or wondering if it's time to move on from your current therapist, this episode will help you make the right call.In this episode, you’ll learn:The biggest mistakes people make when choosing a therapist.How to tell the difference between productive discomfort in therapy vs. actual harm.Red flags in therapist bios, social media, and first sessions.How to find high-quality therapy when you’re dealing with budget constraints or bad insurance.Xxoo DarcyRESOURCESMindful CarePsychological Treatmentshttps://www.instagram.com/the_sarahpist/https://sarahpist.com/#contacthttps://form.typeform.com/to/Smv62wG3CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

In today’s world, sharing an opinion can feel like stepping onto a battlefield. We fear being judged, misunderstood, or canceled—so we stay silent. Or worse, we speak at each other instead of with each other. But real connection isn’t about having the perfect words. It’s about showing up with curiosity, intention, and presence—even when it’s uncomfortable.In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by legendary therapists and relationship experts Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, creators of Imago Therapy and authors of the new book How to Talk With Anyone About Anything. We unpack the deeper purpose of conversation, how to reconnect during moments of conflict, and why our differences might actually be the gateway to deeper intimacy.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why differences don’t mean you’re incompatible—and how they can lead to greater intimacy.The #1 most effective tool to stay grounded and present in uncomfortable conversations.The one thing that must be present in every relationship if you want it to be healthy.PLUS: I bring Harville one of my most triggering real-life scenarios—and ask him to walk me through it. And he does not disappoint. Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareGetting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third EditionHow to Talk with Anyone about Anything: The Practice of Safe ConversationsKeeping the Love You Find: A Personal GuideDoing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space-Between: A Clinician's GuideThe Space Between: The Point of ConnectionMaking Marriage Simple: Ten Relationship-Saving TruthsCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube.