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You & I

An Advice Podcast with Jackie Kai Ellis


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  • 24. Episode 24: Live Anniversary Show

    01:22:02||Season 1, Ep. 24
    In honour of the first anniversary of You & I, we hosted a LIVE episode on YouTube and Instagram where we answered some of the question submissions we haven’t yet explored. We took audience questions LIVE with one of my closest friends and people I go to regularly for advice, Caroline Boquist, who is the co-owner of Walrus in Vancouver, BC.Question 1: I'm married with kids. I love my husband and my kids but at the same time I'm not fulfilled by my relationship. I've started to develop strong feelings for someone else. It hasn't gone beyond a meeting for coffee and messaging. I don't know what to do. Please help?Question 2: How do you find balance between “life is too short” and still achieve goals and get through your daily routine?Question 3: I left my drug addict, in all ways abusive, partner after eight years about eight months ago. I was bold, convicted and finally strong enough to leave. But after almost a year, I am more wounded, battered and stuck in my trauma than ever before. Talk therapy is just talk for my mind to get in some words and for my heart to be emotional. But my body is stuck, frozen-filled with stress, trauma, cortisol, paralyzed with PTSD and all things in between. My question to you is, how do I thaw myself and help my body release all of this ‘stuff’?Question 4: How do you let go of personal guilt? Guilt is an overpowering emotion that takes up way too much space in my life. The bigger problem is, all my guilt is self-imposed and the person I feel most guilty about is…me. Most of my days are spent thinking about what or how I SHOULD be doing something, even when those around me encourage me or remind me I am doing so many great things. How do I let go of this guilt?This anniversary episode will be my last for a little while. In order to create the space needed to write my book, To You Who Wonders, You & I will be on hiatus. I love all the learning that has come from exploring your questions and I can’t wait to do this LIVE with you. We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I. It needs to be said, I am not a professional, just someone with some personal experience to share. I do hope this is helpful, but as always, take the advice that resonates and ignore what doesn't. Don’t hesitate to seek out professional help through a trusted source. Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Episode Resources:Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / InstagramCaroline Boquist: InstagramWalrus: Website / InstagramIndian Residential School Survivors Society: Website / 24-hr Crisis Line 1-800-721-0066You & I Podcast: Website / Instagram

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  • Mini Episode 23: Will I Ever Find Love?

    12:13|
    To create space for Jackie to write her upcoming book, To You Who Wonders – an advice column meets memoir – she will be reading from her past column, Ask JKE, for Virtuvi's Natural Habitat Magazine.This week, she is answering the question "I’m looking for advice on how to date, during a pandemic, while running a small business. I am a fellow baker and as you know, work long, strenuous hours, often while the rest of the world sleeps. Will I ever find love? Is it possible to find a balance while growing my business?" She reflects on the answer she wrote so many years ago and shares her reflections, what has evolved since, what she would have written differently or what she was experiencing at the time she wrote it.----We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.Episode Resources:Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / InstagramVitruvi's Natural Habitat Magazine: Website / InstagramYou & I Podcast: WebsiteResources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.
  • Mini Episode 22: How Would You Handle an Employer Doubting Your Ability?

    15:03|
    To create space for Jackie to write her upcoming book, To You Who Wonders – an advice column meets memoir – she will be reading from her past column, Ask JKE, for Virtuvi's Natural Habitat Magazine.This week, she is answering the question "How would you handle an employer doubting your ability to manage projects when you know it stems from internalized racism and unconscious bias?" She reflects on the answer she wrote so many years ago and shares her reflections, what has evolved since, what she would have written differently or what she was experiencing at the time she wrote it.----We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.Episode Resources:Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / InstagramVitruvi's Natural Habitat Magazine: Website / InstagramYou & I Podcast: WebsiteResources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.
  • Mini Episode 21: How Do You Forgive Yourself?

    11:28|
    To create space for Jackie to write her upcoming book, To You Who Wonders – an advice column meets memoir – she will be reading from her past column, Ask JKE, for Virtuvi's Natural Habitat Magazine.This week, she is answering the question "How do I forgive myself for the way I acted at the height of my depression? How do I forgive myself for the pain I caused the ones I love? How do I forgive myself for losing myself...losing my spark? All the consequences of dealing with depression? How do I stay kind to myself when I know I am not showing up as my best self while still navigating emotional wounds and pain?" She reflects on the answer she wrote so many years ago and shares her reflections, what has evolved since, what she would have written differently or what she was experiencing at the time she wrote it.----We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.Episode Resources:Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / InstagramVitruvi's Natural Habitat Magazine: Website / InstagramYou & I Podcast: WebsiteResources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.
  • Mini Episode 20: How Did You Prepare to Jump?

    16:15|
    To create space for Jackie to write her upcoming book, To You Who Wonders – an advice column meets memoir – she will be reading from her past column, Ask JKE, for Virtuvi's Natural Habitat Magazine.This week, she is answering the question "When did you know you wanted to work for yourself? How did you decide? When did you know you were ready? How did you prepare to jump?" She reflects on the answer she wrote so many years ago and shares her reflections, what has evolved since, what she would have written differently or what she was experiencing at the time she wrote it. ----We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.Episode Resources:Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / InstagramVitruvi's Natural Habitat Magazine: Website / InstagramYou & I Podcast: WebsiteResources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.
  • Episode 19: You burn out, you resign, your boss doesn't care. How do you restart fresh?

    59:14|
    Jackie will be exploring the listener question, "You give your all, you burn out, you resign, and your boss could care less. How do you restart fresh?"Tune in she and guest Kim Budziak dive into burnout, its roots in self-worth, how to heal from the emotional loss that comes from career and how to start new.----We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.Episode Resources:Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / InstagramKim Budziak: InstagramNorthwest Immigrant Rights Project: Website / InstagramYou & I Podcast: WebsiteResources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.
  • Mini Episode 18: Who am I outside of family and work responsibilities?

    13:09|
    Tune in as Jackie explores her own identity and the ambiguity of who she is apart from who she is as a sister, a daughter, a mother, a wife, a business person and "multi-hyphenate." She delves into her own struggle and shares, not the wisdom of hindsight, but a perspective from inside the confusion.----We hope that you get something helpful out of this exploration. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.Make sure to listen until the end to hear the question we will be diving into on the next episode. And if you feel inspired to respond to this asker and are interested in being a guest of this episode, or if you have a short word of wisdom for them, write to us on the contact page on youandipodcast.com or DM us on Instagram at @youandi.podcast.Episode Resources:Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / InstagramYou & I Podcast: Website / InstagramResources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.