We Need To Talk… with Dr. Darcy Sterling

Choosing when to share your past—and deciding how much to share—is one of the trickiest balancing acts in relationships. Whether it’s with a romantic partner, a friend, or even a colleague, the decision to open up can feel overwhelming.In today’s episode, we’re diving into the delicate art of disclosure—learning when and how to share your personal stories so they don’t become burdensome secrets. We discuss:The right timing to share mental health diagnoses, physical illnesses, financial struggles, legal troubles, family secrets, or personal mistakes.How to balance family loyalty with honesty when revealing family secrets.Tips for discussing sensitive topics like politics, religious differences, or biases with new people.How to present your mistakes as opportunities for growth and accountability.PLUS, I uncover the #1 mistake people make when they’re on the receiving end of someone else’s vulnerable story—and how to avoid it.Tune in to learn how to navigate these tough conversations with confidence, compassion, and authenticity.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.  DISCLAIMER#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy#ModernRomance #ModernLove #MillennialLife #Vulnerability #FamilySecrets #GrowthMindset #EmotionalIntelligence #LifeLessons#Authenticity #SelfAwareness #CommunicationSkillsInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

For many women, sexual desire isn’t always spontaneous or readily available—it’s something that ebbs and flows, influenced by factors like stress, fatigue, and emotional connection with a partner.Yet, our culture promotes the idea that great sex must be spontaneous, passionate, and frequent, leaving many women feeling like they’re broken when they experience a lull in their desire.But what if that belief is a myth? What if our cultural narrative around sexuality and desire is part of what makes it so difficult to sustain?In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Lori Brotto, a leading expert in the science of desire. Dr. Brotto has dedicated her career to dismantling myths about female desire and providing practical, evidence-based strategies to help women reconnect with their sexuality. She emphasizes that desire isn’t just something that happens to us—it’s something we can nurture, approach with mindfulness, and redefine in ways that align with our unique lives and relationships.In this episode, you’ll learn:Key differences in sexual desire between men and women.The top disruptors of women’s desire.A single transformative skill to help combat low libido and rekindle desire.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareDebby Herbenick, Margo Mullinax, Kristen Mark, Sexual Desire Discrepancy as a Feature, Not a Bug, of Long‐Term Relationships: Women's Self‐Reported Strategies for Modulating Sexual Desire, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Volume 11, Issue 9, September 2014, Pages 2196–2206, https://doi.org/10.1111/jsm.12625Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate DesireCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.  DISCLAIMER#DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy #ModernRomance #ModernLove #MillennialLife #DrLoriBrottoInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

We've all been there—stuck in a relationship where red flags are hard to ignore, yet we find ways to dismiss them. We tell ourselves things will change, that it’s just a rough patch. But while we’re busy justifying, friends and family can see the reality far more clearly.Why are we often the last to recognize toxic patterns or to accept when a relationship has reached its limit? What keeps us holding on, even as the red flags pile up? In this episode, we dive into the psychology of ignoring red flags, exploring how much of this blindness is rooted in self-preservation versus genuine love.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why leaving a relationship is sometimes harder when there hasn’t been a single, defining break.How friends and family can manage the challenge of seeing red flags and wanting to help, while respecting their loved one’s choices.How to respond when people you trust share their concerns about your partner.This episode is all about tuning into emotional awareness, relationship patterns, and the delicate balance between love and self-preservation.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareVIA Survey of Character Strengthshttps://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/loo-marriage-to-divorce-ratio-US-geographic-variation-2022-fp-23-25.htmlhttps://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy#ModernRomance #ModernLove #ToxicRelationships #KnowYourWorth #BreakupRecovery #RedFlagsInRelationships #TrustYourGutCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Our early experiences with our caregivers creates a blueprint that influences how we trust, connect, and build relationships in adulthood. We call that blueprint our attachment style. And to keep it simple, that style will either be secure (ideally) or insecure (more likely). If you suspect or know that you have an insecure attachment style, don’t lose hope—healing is possible. And it often happens through our adult relationships—when we choose partners who help us feel safe, who show up for us consistently, who speak the truth, and who navigate conflict in ways that make us feel seen rather than abandoned.But what happens when your relationship model isn’t monogamy? Can you still find emotional security and healing in non-monogamous relationships? For those with a secure attachment style, non-monogamy may feel natural. But for individuals with an insecure attachment style or who have unresolved trauma, it can magnify challenges like jealousy, fear of abandonment, and emotional withdrawal.Today, I’m joined by Jessica Fern, therapist and author of Polysecure, to explore the intersection of attachment, trauma, and non-monogamy. Jessica’s work offers hope and actionable tools for building emotional security—even in non-traditional relationship models.In this episode, you’ll learn:How attachment styles profoundly impact our adult relationships.How insecure attachment styles differ from secure attachment styles in non-monogamous relationships.Practical strategies to foster emotional security, no matter your relationship structure.Whether you’re monogamous, polyamorous, or exploring open relationships, this episode will provide valuable insights into how attachment and trauma shape our love lives—and how we can heal.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareBefriending Your Nervous System: Looking Through the Lens of Polyvagal TheoryPolyvagal Prompts: Finding Connection and Joy through Guided ExplorationsAnchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal TheoryPolysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Non Monogamy by Jessica FernCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith. DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

There is nothing quite like the feeling you get when your new relationship becomes official. That shift from casual dating into knowing that you and your partner are truly becoming a committed team. You develop relationship rituals for when you see each other, and you’re beginning to create a framework for navigating life together. For so many people, it’s simultaneously grounding and intoxicating.But it’s almost inevitable that as relationship familiarity grows and partners become more secure with each other, that initial passion starts to wane.And it doesn’t just happen when a new sense of security takes the place of the honeymoon phase — it actually happens throughout the course of our relationship and our lives.It’s the paradox of long-term relationships: The qualities that help keep a partnership alive over years or even decades are often the exact opposite of what you need to maintain a fulfilling sex life.Dr. Emily Jamea, a sex therapist and author of Anatomy of Desire: 5 Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion, joins us to discuss why sex and intimacy change in long-term love and what we can do to keep passion alive.In this episode, you’ll learn:What makes sex amazing in new relationships and how those qualities change in a long-term partnership.The surprising behaviors that couples do or don’t do that gradually erode desire.How couples can emerge from a sexless phase and reignite passion.I loved this conversation, and I think you will too!Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareAnatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate PassionCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith. DISCLAIMER#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp  #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy #LongTermRelationship #Intimacy #DrEmilyJameaInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Dating in the digital age is a completely different game than it used to be. Swiping left and right, ghosting, breadcrumbing, and situationships have all become part of the millennial love landscape. But with so many choices, why does it feel like finding a meaningful connection has become even more difficult?Today I’m joined by Lindsey Metselaar, host of the podcast, “We Met At Acme,” where she covers millennial dating and relationships. Lindsey has her finger on the pulse of millennial dating trends, modern dating challenges, and of course our digital dating culture.I’m going to be asking her all the questions, including:Was dating actually easier before dating apps? Why do Millennials seem to struggle with defining their relationship status? What’s the real reason behind why Millennials are delaying marriage, homeownership, and parenthood?Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.  DISCLAIMER#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #PodcastLove#WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling#DrDarcy #ModernRomance #ModernLove #MillennialLife #WeMetAtAcme #LindseyMetselaarInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

School shootings have become part of the national dialogue in America, with much of the focus on weapons and security measures. But today I want to shift the lens in this conversation to something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: Childhood trauma, and how it connects to the mental health crisis underlying these violent acts.Today, we’re going to examine the long-term effects of childhood trauma and how it intersects with the kinds of violence we see in schools. What would it look like if we intervened earlier—if we could catch the signs of a kid who might be in trouble before it’s too late? Could doing that be part of our gun violence prevention strategy?In this episode, you’ll learn:Why childhood trauma leads to violent behavior as a teenager.The 7 warning signs that a student is in trouble that could lead to a school shooting. What specific actions schools and communities can take to prevent trauma from turning into violence.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindfulCare Darcy's DissertationFinkelhor, D., Turner, H. A., & Shattuck, A. (2023). Adverse childhood experiences: Understanding and addressing trauma in children and families. Springer. FBI's "The School Shooter: A Threat Assessment Perspective" (2000):U.S. Department of Justice's "Indicators of School Crime and Safety" (2019):National Threat Assessment Center. (2019). Protecting America’s schools: A U.S. Secret Service analysis of targeted school violence. U.S. Secret Service, Department of Homeland Security. CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith. DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling  Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling   X:@DrDarcySterling    YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterling Watch this episode here on YouTube.

In a world where access to explicit content is just a click away, pornography has become a significant part of our sexual landscape. For some, it’s a tool for exploring curiosity. For others, the mere thought of their partner viewing porn crosses the line of infidelity. But no matter where you stand, there’s no denying that porn has the power to shape our understanding of sex, our desires, and how we relate to our partners.Today we’re diving into the psychological, emotional, and ethical dimensions of pornography’s influence on love, trust, and sexual satisfaction. We’re going to explore how porn shows up in our relationships and how we can talk about it openly, without fear or shame. In this episode, you’ll learn:How watching porn affects our romantic relationships. What happens when it becomes a point of contention—or a source of connection—between partners. How to bring up concerns about your partner’s porn use without triggering shame, discomfort, or defensiveness.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESMindful CareSLAA - Sex and Love Addicts AnonymousCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.  DISCLAIMER#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy#Intimacy #IntimacyTip #IntimacyCoaching #EmotionalIntimacy #IntimacyMatters #LetsTalkAboutSex #LoveAndSex #PornInRelationships #PornographyInRelationships #SexualHealth #SexLife Instagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube.