Narrowboats, England's waterways, duck hatches and carbon monoxide poisoning.

1. I bought a boat

Dying, grief, riding motorbikes off cliffs and deleting facebook.

2. Quite a lot of death

Brits abroad, tackling fatbergs, Portuguese cocks and Nelly Furtado.

3. A Portuguese fatberg

Vipassana meditation, digital detoxes, wellness drinks cabinets and throbbing third eyes.

4. Involuntary erections in the lotus position

Laaandan, identity crises, befriending racists and boking at Heathcliff's eggs.

5. But where r u really from (fam)?

Chicken tikka pizzas, mushrooms in buckets, Yorkshire cakes and serial killers.

6. Beef bourguignon sur la floor

Skin on school custard, wanking into ramekins, flogging Refreshers and weird smells at house parties.

7. School: Cultural Leranings of Classroom for Make Great Benefit to No-one in Later Life 

Alcohol, honesty, hope and recovery.

8. Alcohol

Sport, ski chalet boys, lawn bowls clubs and holes in footballers' heads.

9. Stagefright at the urinals at Elland Road

Two so-called men dredge the canals of their minds. Navigating Portuguese fatbergs, involuntary erections in the lotus position, mortality and alcohol. On a narrowboat. New episodes whenever.

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Two Men On A Boat

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1. 1. I bought a boat

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2. 2. Quite a lot of death

3. 3. A Portuguese fatberg

4. 4. Involuntary erections in the lotus position

5. 5. But where r u really from (fam)?

6. 6. Beef bourguignon sur la floor

7. 7. School: Cultural Leranings of Classroom for Make Great Benefit to No-one in Later Life