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Doula By Day, Dom By Night

Season 4, Ep. 280

Gem Kocher is a non-binary queer feminist coach and pro domme who was formerly a full-spectrum doula. They are passionate about reproductive justice and sex work and the hosts got to chat with them about normalizing straight, monogamous couples booking an escort, and sex and intimacy after childbirth. There are many gems in the conversation. You can find them on Kaufmich.com at Goddxss_Gem or book coaching with them at rainbowdoulaberlin.com

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  • 324. Carnal Knowledge: Men’s Pornography Consumption & Body Image

    25:21
    Body dissatisfaction in women as it relates to mainstream media has been a thoroughly discussed topic of modern society, but about body dissatisfaction in men? This week, bad bitch researcher Anna presents a correlational study that examines the relationship between pornography, a salient form of media more commonly consumed by men, and men's relationship with their body image. Body ideals and idols are thrust into the psyche of pornography consumers, but how are the messages internalized? What is body monitoring and how is it impacted with increased porn watching? Does more porn use correlate to a particular attachment style? The psychological effects of the “mesomorphic ideal” portrayed on screens for men have been understudied, and if anything is getting in our way of having healthy experiences of intimacy, it should be explored more deeply.Link to study
  • 323. The Littlest Courtesan in Nevada

    48:16
    Alice Little​ is America's most successful legal sex worker in the books! At 4'8", you might not think you'd be able to spot this red-headed Irish-American farmer in a crowd, but you'd quickly notice as her charm parts seas of people for her. Her genuine kindness is magnetic and it's not hard to see why her success is credited to her personality and ability to connect with people. Bryde and Jeremie chat with Alice about her life between work at the Chicken Ranch and her home on her horse farm. She talks about her values, and about her roles as a mentor to other industry colleagues and as an advocate for the rights and healthcare of sex workers. Jeremie bring up sex robots and sex work as recently discussed with guest Delphine, and the hosts get some insightful thoughts straight from a professional source about what she predicts will happen. The conversation weaves through topics from Alice's curious past careers to the commodification of intimacy​ to the role of AI in amplifying or hindering human connection. Connect with Alice Little via her website for all the right social links, or email her directly to set up an appointment: alicelittle@thealicelittle.comWebsite: https://thealicelittle.com/
  • 322. Carnal Knowledge: Same Sex Couple Relationship Strengths

    26:57
    Another episode of Carnal Knowledge! This week Anna strips down the science of relationships! We dive into a study reviewing same-sex couple relationships from 2000 to 2016. The conversation uncovers how same-sex couples navigate relationship processes, characteristics, and external influences. We explore the significance of respecting individual differences, fostering positive interactions, and mastering communication. Discover the egalitarian ideals that often define these relationships and the impact of being openly out. Tune in for an enlightening look at the unique and shared aspects of love and commitment in same-sex relationships.Study link:"Same-sex couple relationship strengths: A review and synthesis of the empirical literature (2000–2016)https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-00534-001"
  • 321. Sex Robots And The Impact on Human Sex Work

    58:15
    "The sex machines rose from the ashes of whorephobia. Their war to exterminate sex work had raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present." That's a direct quote from the original Terminator script, until James Cameron decided to make it about Robotic bodybuilders instead of Robotic Only Fans models. True story. This week Bryde and Jeremie are joined by Delphine, a researcher in the intersection of sexuality and technology. She discusses her work on sex robots and sex work, challenging the problematic framing of sex robots as exploited and abused women, highlighting the inflammatory language used in media and the association with sex work. Delphine takes a sex-positive and tech-neutral approach, emphasizing that technologies are not inherently good or bad. She explores the potential of sex robots to replace or supplement human sex work, noting the current discourse on both sides of the argument.
  • 320. Carnal Knowledge: Humour Styles and Romantic Interest

    25:17
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  • 319. Rerouting Life-Force Through Non-Ejaculatory Orgasm

    55:05
    What do you get when you mix water and fire juuust right? Guest Sureya Leonard is a holistic sex and relationship coach, influenced by her personal and spiritual study of Taoism and Tantra and the route of healing that she took when she became chronically ill. Bryde and Jeremie jump feet first into one of the frameworks Sureya uses to help her coaching clients - the Chakra System. Sureya breaks down the use of the Chakra system as a diagnostic tool for understanding and addressing sexual dysfunction, explains how sexual energy moves differently through the system for men and women, and teaches the hosts about the concept of redirecting sexual energy for a more body-full, longer lasting orgasm without ejaculation, or sending the energy in and up, rather than out. Finally, an interesting chat about masturbation, its benefits and its drawbacks. Check out Sureya’s free offering via her link tree below!Want more Sureya in your life? Sureya's Links
  • 318. Carnal Knowledge: Self-expanding activities and Desire in Relationships

    28:46
    Welcome back to Carnal Knowledge - where curiosity meets carnal desires! This week, we dive into the fascinating world of self-expansion and its tantalizing effects on sexual desire and relationship satisfaction. Resident researcher Anna brings us a groundbreaking study examining how self-expanding activities can reignite the flames of passion in long-term relationships. Join us as we unpack the study's three conditions and their intriguing impact on intimacy, self-growth, and romantic satisfaction. Discover how embracing new experiences together can breathe new life into established relationships and spark deeper connections. Don't miss this deep dive into the psychology of desire and the secrets to keeping the heat alive. Until next week, embrace the new, ignite the old.Link to study:https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-47337-001
  • 317. In Grief, Sex Is The Medicine

    50:37
    Intimacy isn't just for the easy times; it’s a lifeline when the going gets tough. This week, Sam T joins TMO to explore the profound role of intimacy and connection amidst the harrowing journey of caregiving for a child with cancer. They challenge the taboo of finding joy in hardship, with Sam sharing how her bond with her partner deepened during their daughter's treatment, offering solace and a brief respite from their pain. The conversation dives into the strain preexisting conditions can place on partnerships and the risk of separation or divorce. Together, they tackle the stigma of maintaining intimacy in the face of trauma and emphasize its importance as a coping mechanism. Hear about the heightened emotions, the resilience required, and the growth that comes from choosing to stay connected even when escape seems tempting.Want More Sam?The Deep CInstagram
  • 316. Carnal Knowledge: Is Sexting Good for Your Relationship

    22:34
    This week on Carnal Knowledge resident researcher Anna shares a study on sexting and its impact on relationships. This spurs conversation between Jer, Bryde and Anna about changing societal attitudes towards sexting, their own experiences with sexting, and that one time sexting almost got included in the big book of psychological disorders. Have a listen and hear abut the influence of relationship type in determining the positive or negative consequences of sexting, gender differences in sending sexy texts and photos, and a link between attachment style in sexting experiences. Until next week, fight clean, text dirty.Link to Study:https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0747563217303898