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Turn Me On

Conversations about love, sex, and relationships hosted by a recently divorced, formerly polyamorous, couple of best friends.


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  • 309. Carnal Knowledge: The Mating Psychology of Incels

    27:23
    Welcome back to Carnal Knowledge! A weekly rendezvous between sex and science. This week Anna take Jer and Bryde down a deep dark rabbit hole exploring the mating psychology of incels (involuntarily celibate individuals) and challenges some common misconceptions about them. This study explores the three big M's when it comes to incels; Misfortunes, Misperceptions, and Misrepresentations. A conversation that emphasizes the importance of compassion when talking about a group who's beliefs and behaviours stems from deep rooted issues and trauma. Link to studyCitation:Costello, W., Rolon, V., Thomas, A. G., & Schmitt, D. P. (2023). The Mating Psychology of Incels (Involuntary Celibates): Misfortunes, Misperceptions, and Misrepresentations. The Journal of Sex Research, 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2023.2248096

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  • 308. The Problem with Purity Culture

    44:35
    Purity pledges are a thing of the past, right? Portia Brown is a sex coach and educator, and a purity culture drop out. Hailing from the Midwest, Portia knew from an early age that anything she wanted to understand about sex she was going to have to read about at the library. A religious upbringing paired with abstinence only sex ed didn’t stop Portia from becoming the teenager who was thrilled to be handing out condoms at her college fresh week. This week Jeremie and Bryde chat with Portia about purity culture and its impact on society and reproductive rights, evident in the overturning of Roe v Wade, the rise of modesty influencers, and the increase in conservative ideologies. They discuss how the Covid pandemic may have pushed society even further in this direction. Jeremie learns about Father Daughter Balls, or, Purity Balls, commonplace in some conservative a Christian groups in the US.Portia's Links:InstagramTwitterTiktokWebsite Keywordssex coach, purity culture, religious beliefs, oppression, women, LGBTQ+ community, challenge, dismantle, inclusive, sex-positive, purity culture, reproductive rights, societal norms, conservative ideologies, COVID-19, political divide, abstinence-only sex education, comprehensive sex education,
  • 307. Carnal Knowledge: Does Clitoral Knowledge Translate into Orgasm?

    35:08
    Turn Me On presents: Carnal Knowledge! Our new weekly rendezvous between sex and science. In this conversation, TMO's resident sex researcher, Anna, discusses a paper titled 'Does Clitoral Knowledge Translate Into Orgasm? The Interplay Between Clitoral Knowledge, Gendered Sexual Scripts, and Orgasm Experience.'The paper explores the inequality in orgasm rates and sexual pleasure between heterosexual women and men. Do women have more clitoral knowledge than men? Does gendered sexual scripts impact sexual pleasure? What is more important for the optimal orgasm experience; a knowledge of our genital anatomy or our ability to advocate for the pleasure that we desire? Science is sexy, folks.Link to studyCitation:Dienberg, M. F., Oschatz, T., Kosman, E., & Klein, V. (2023). Does Clitoral Knowledge Translate into Orgasm? The Interplay Between Clitoral Knowledge, Gendered Sexual Scripts, and Orgasm Experience. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 49(5), 484–496. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2022.2147112
  • 306. Making Your Moulin Rouge

    50:21
    If masturbation needs anything, it’s some fresh new idioms. Welcome to Season 5 of Turn Me On, a season where hosts Bryde and Jeremie are excited to dive even deeper into their mutual love for words, science, and perspective shifting conversations in the name of bettering the sex and love lives of all. Welcome, Anna! A fabulous addition to this season, Anna is a passionate graduate student from Columbia University who is excited to share the latest in sex research every week in a brand new segment. Fans of Turn Me On, get ready for a second episode every week to help you keep that pilot light lit.In this host episode, Bryde presents Jeremie with some unasked questions about common masturbation habits, and tests him with some hard hitting trivia including how and when masturbation shows up in humans and non-human animals, and which famous person said what on the subject of autoeroticism.TakeawaysMasturbation is a common and healthy behavior in humans and animals.Masturbation can have mental health benefits, such as stress relief and increased confidence.Sex toys can enhance the experience of masturbation, but personal preferences vary.Different animals engage in self-pleasure using various techniques and objects.Famous individuals have shared their thoughts and experiences related to masturbation.
  • 305. Pleasure Pods: I Melt for You

    44:30
    What’s a bigger turn off than feeling like sex might shred your vagina? Deb Porteus found new love right along the same time she started perimenopause, and the kicker is that "new relationship energy" sex combined with vaginal dryness for folks who are going through “the change”, it fucking hurts. They tried the standards and explored at length, but firecracker Deb and her lover Brian were determined to make something better than what they could find, and The Pleasure Pods were born. Longtime friends from teaching yoga together, Deb, Bryde and Jeremie chat about what The Pleasure Pods are made of, what they look, feel, smell, and taste like, and the many ways they can be used to enhance your pleasure. No, this is not an ad! Deb has a spirit that will light you up and inspire you, and you will enjoy her story of how she went about getting into lube development and becoming a “friggin’ awesome squirter”.Pleasure Pods Links:InstagramFacebookYoutubewww.thepleasurepods.comTakeawaysPleasure Pods are small, solid lubricant pods made of natural ingredients like mango butter, cocoa butter, and coconut butter.The pods melt upon contact with the skin, providing a smooth and long-lasting lubrication.Pleasure Pods can be used for sexual activities, massages, and as a skincare product for soothing irritated skin.Deborah's personal experience with perimenopause and vaginal dryness inspired her to create Pleasure Pods to address the lack of effective and safe lubricants on the market.
  • 304. Shaping Sex Ed: A Public Health Perscpective

    01:01:01
    What is the most common question an online sex educator finds in her DMs? Danielle Bezalel, aka DB, is an executive producer and creator of Sex Ed with DB. She has a Master of Public Health with a focus on sexuality and reproductive health. In this conversation, she talks to Bryde and Jeremie about public health and its role with sex education, highlighting the need for age-appropriate and medically accurate sex education that covers topics such as boundaries, consent, puberty, menstruation, STIs, and contraception, and statistics relating to abstinence only sex ed.DB breaks down the benefits of masturbation, including effects on stress levels, mood, and confidence, and details on her own masturbation science project and the findings. Jeremie offers a brief history lesson on the Magic Wand. Other topics of conversation include the challenges of being a sexual health influencer on social media plus a workshop to help folks who are establishing their sex health brands online. DB also addresses questions about talking to children about masturbation and the most common questions she receives as a sexual health educator.Follow DB:XInstagramFacebookTiktokWebsiteWorkshopYoutubeOther episode mentions:Guttmacher InstituteKeywords: sex education, public health, abstinence-only, comprehensive, age-appropriate, medically accurate, boundaries, consent, puberty, menstruation, STIs, contraception, pleasure, orgasm gap, sex education, masturbation, sexual health, Magic Wand, confidence, parenting, sex toys, social media
  • 303. Eternal Consequences of Sexuality

    01:04:34
    What's it like to make a decision in favour of your sexual and mental well-being that costs you everything you know and sometimes everyone you love? Julia and Jeremiah Postema are certified sex therapists who grew up in different religious communities, and from their experiences they speak to singles and couples who are on their own healing path from shame, disillusionment, and allegiance to the church. Jeremie and Bryde chat with today's guests about the restrictive gendered messages around relationships and sexuality that exist within evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal communities. They also talk about the challenges of existing in both religious and philosophical spaces and the grief that can come with leaving a religious community. They highlight the importance of expanding options for healthy relationships and sexuality, at a pace that is appropriate for those in treatment.Find Sexvangelicals here:InstagramFacebookWebsiteSubstackKeywordssex, religion, sexuality, religious communities, sex therapy, gender norms, trad wife, evangelical, Mormon, Pentecostal, philosophy, spirituality, grief, leaving a religious community, healthy relationships, religion, sexuality, relationships, abstinence-only education, gender differences, shame, therapy, couples, communication