Thriving not Surviving

Keywords: thriving, surviving, mental health, psychotherapy, army, identity, racism, LGBTQ+, personal growth, resilience, gender dynamics, racial identity, military transition, counselling, therapy, EMDR, trauma, refugees, asylum seekers, internal family systems, healing, veterans, ADHD, shamanic work, support servicesIn this episode of Thriving Not Surviving, host Helen Valentino speaks with counselling psychologist and former British Army officer Ben Amponsah. Ben shares his powerful journey from a challenging, unstable childhood to becoming the first Black officer in the Royal Armoured Corps—a path marked by resilience, identity exploration, and overcoming adversity.Summary: The conversation explores Ben’s military experience and how it shaped his understanding of race, identity, and sexuality within rigid institutional structures. He opens up about facing racism, microaggressions, and the pressure of navigating multiple identities, while highlighting the importance of allyship in creating inclusive spaces—both in the military and beyond.Helen and Ben also delve into the complexities of transitioning from military to civilian life, a shift that can feel isolating and disorienting. They unpack how trauma, particularly childhood trauma, continues to influence mental health well into adulthood, and how therapy can offer a space to rebuild and thrive.Ben discusses his work as a counselling psychologist, drawing on modalities like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help clients process deep emotional wounds. He shares how his own healing journey—and a desire to support others—led him into the therapeutic profession.They touch on the intersections of race, gender, and sexuality, especially in professional environments, where speaking out can feel unsafe or unsupported. There’s a powerful discussion around how women and LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly in male-dominated industries, often have to fight harder to be heard.Throughout the episode, Ben emphasizes the role of community, belief in oneself, and structured therapeutic support in moving from merely surviving to truly thriving. He advocates for better support for veterans and marginalized groups, and underlines how therapy isn't just about talking—it's about transformation.Together, Helen and Ben reflect on what it means to heal, grow, and reclaim one’s story. Whether it's through therapy, spirituality, or community, the path to healing is unique—but connection, courage, and honesty are at its core.🎧 For full transcription, contact: helen@inspiredhealing.co.uk 🎵 Music: Pixabay – “Upbeat Acoustic” by Stockaudios 🎨 Cover art: Dave Champagne 📖 Referenced reading:Amponsah, B. (2019). The role of leadership for gay Black practitioners... In Leadership and Diversity in Psychology (Routledge)Okundaye, J. (2024). Revolutionary Acts: Love and Brotherhood in Black, Gay Britain

Keywords Give Festival, spiritual experience, community, music, creativity, festival culture, intergenerational connection, Ben Taylor, Helen Valentino, thriving not surviving, festival, holistic healing, personal growth, unconditional love, kindness, creative expression, thriving, community, wellness, unique experiencesSummary In this episode of the Thriving Not Surviving podcast, host Helen Valentino interviews Ben Taylor, also known as Ben the Bee, about the Give Festival. They discuss the festival's unique spiritual essence, its origins, and how it has evolved over the years. Ben shares insights into the community aspect of the festival, the intergenerational connections it fosters, and the creative experiences it offers. The conversation highlights the importance of intention and connection in creating a memorable festival experience. In this engaging conversation, the speakers explore the enchanting atmosphere of a unique festival, emphasizing its holistic healing offerings, the importance of community, and the personal growth that comes from such experiences. They reflect on the journey of an actor, the significance of unconditional love, and the essence of kindness in fostering a thriving environment. The discussion highlights the transformative power of creative expression and the commitment to creating a welcoming space for all attendees.TakeawaysThe Give Festival is a unique spiritual experience.Community and connection are at the heart of the festival.The festival has evolved from its origins in the 80’s rave culture.Intention plays a crucial role in the festival's atmosphere.The festival fosters intergenerational connections.Creativity is a core element of the Give Festival.The festival is a labour of love for its organizers.Participants often find themselves at the right time for the festival.The festival aims to break down social barriers.The festival experience is intimate and communal. The festival atmosphere is designed to be magical and inviting.Holistic healing is a core component of the festival experience.Creating a unique festival experience involves attention to detail and community involvement.The journey of an actor can lead to unexpected opportunities and personal growth.Thriving in life requires effort and a proactive mindset.Unconditional love and acceptance are essential for personal development.Kindness is a fundamental principle that fosters a supportive community.Creative expression allows individuals to connect with their deeper selves.The festival aims to provide a space for healing and transformation.Personal experiences shape our understanding of love and community.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Thriving Not Surviving Podcast02:54 The Spiritual Essence of the Give Festival06:21 The Origins of Give Festival12:34 The Evolution of Give Festival18:41 The Intergenerational Connection at Give25:04 The Unique Experience of Give Festival32:48 The Enchantment of the Festival Atmosphere35:39 Holistic Healing and Wellness Offerings38:32 Creating a Unique Festival Experience41:14 The Journey of an Actor46:34 Thriving vs. Surviving: Personal Growth50:24 The Importance of Unconditional Love53:48 The Essence of Kindness and AcceptanceMusic for Intro & Outro is thanks to Pixabay – Upbeat acoustic - StockaudiosThank you to Dave Champagne for the cover art - If you want a full transcription of this episode please email me @ helen@inspiredhealing.co.uk

Keywords: Thriving, Surviving, Neurodiversity, Cacao, Acceptance, Community, Self-Discovery, Cacao Love, Plant Medicine, Autism, Chocolate, Indigenous Tribes, Sustainability, Spirituality, Ayahuasca, Agroforestry, Nature, Integration, Mushrooms, Healing, Indigenous Wisdom, Personal Stories, TransformationSummary:In this episode of Thriving Not Surviving, Helen Valentino welcomes Gavin from Cacao Love for a heartfelt conversation on neurodiversity, self-acceptance, and the gentle power of cacao. Together, they explore the healing potential of plant medicines, the importance of community, and the journey toward self-discovery. Gavin shares his personal story of living with autism, his late diagnosis, and how it shaped the way he navigates the world. With honesty and humour, he talks about how cacao transformed his life and how his deep love for this plant led to the creation of Cacao Love—a business built on sustainability, ethics, and connection. The conversation expands into the cultural significance of cacao, the dark history of chocolate production, and the impact of climate change and disease on cacao crops. Gavin and Helen explore how cacao is helping indigenous communities reconnect with traditional ways of life and how the medicine can serve as a gentle, heart-opening entry into spirituality and healing. They also reflect on the reverence needed when working with more intense plant medicines such as ayahuasca and mushrooms. Personal stories from both Gavin and Helen highlight the importance of preparation and integration—often overlooked but essential steps in the healing process. Their dialogue is a reminder that spiritual growth is not about shortcuts but deep, grounded work. Themes of simplicity, intentional living, and honouring nature's cycles weave through the episode, as does a strong emphasis on the wisdom found in indigenous practices and the magic of everyday signs and synchronicities.Takeaways:The podcast is raw, real, and unedited—just like healing.Gavin shares how his autism shapes the way he plans and moves through life.Both hosts reflect on their late diagnoses of ADHD and autism.Self-acceptance is key to thriving as a neurodivergent person.Community is essential for growth and support.Cacao is a gentle but powerful plant medicine.Gavin’s first cacao ceremony was a turning point in his healing.Cacao Love grew organically from passion and purpose.Ethical sourcing is critical in the cacao trade.Cacao ceremonies foster connection and transformation.Cacao crops are affected by disease and climate change.The chocolate industry’s past has deeply harmed indigenous cultures.Cacao offers a way for tribes to reconnect with ancestral practices.Simplicity can bring clarity, peace, and reduced anxiety.Nature has a grounding, healing energy.Cacao introduces spiritual practice in an accessible, heart-led way.Aligning with natural cycles promotes balance and well-being.Preparation and integration are vital in any plant medicine journey.Deep healing requires reverence, time, and dedication.Personal experiences with plant medicine can spark profound change.Indigenous wisdom holds essential truths for modern healing.Local traditions and nature are full of subtle magic.Sharing personal stories connects us to others and ourselves.Nature’s signs can affirm and support the spiritual path.Healing is most powerful when done in community.Music for Intro & Outro is thanks to Pixabay – Upbeat acoustic - Stockaudios. Thank you to Dave Champagne for the cover art📧 Want a full transcription of this episode? Email Helen at helen@inspiredhealing.co.uk

Keywords: Thriving, surviving, anxiety, yoga, spirituality, self-love, forgiveness, grief, acceptance, personal growth, growth, discomfort, self-discovery, mindfulness, spiritual journey, integrity, thriving, happiness, personal development, self-beliefSummary: In this episode of Thriving Not Surviving, Helen Valentino interviews Sam Whitaker, who shares her profound journey from anxiety and a breakdown following her marriage's collapse to finding healing through yoga and spirituality. Sam discusses the importance of self-love, acceptance, and forgiveness in her healing process, as well as the challenges of losing contact with one of her children. The conversation emphasizes the significance of taking responsibility for one's actions and the journey towards thriving rather than merely surviving. In this conversation, Sam Whitaker and Helen Valentino explore the themes of personal growth, the importance of embracing discomfort, and the journey of self-discovery. They discuss the significance of showing up, even when faced with adversity, and the layers of growth that come with life experiences. The conversation touches on conscious uncoupling, living in the present moment, and the power of spiritual teachings. They emphasize the importance of integrity, self-belief, and finding happiness within, while also addressing the societal misconceptions about wealth and success.TakeawaysHelen introduces the podcast's theme of thriving versus surviving.Sam shares her experience with anxiety and panic attacks after her marriage breakdown.Yoga became a crucial part of Sam's healing journey.Sam emphasizes the importance of seeking help and trying different therapies.The conversation touches on the impact of childhood experiences on adult life.Sam discusses the grieving process of losing contact with her son.Acceptance is a key theme in dealing with loss and grief.Self-love and forgiveness are essential for healing.The importance of recognizing one's part in conflicts and relationships is highlighted.Sam encourages stepping out of comfort zones to thrive. Embracing discomfort is essential for personal growth.Showing up consistently can lead to unexpected opportunities.Self-belief is crucial in overcoming challenges.Life is a continuous journey of layers and growth.Conscious uncoupling can lead to healthier relationships.Living in the present moment enhances our experiences.Integrity is key to avoiding self-sabotage.True happiness comes from within, not external circumstances.Thriving is possible even in the face of adversity.TitlesEckhart Tolle – The Power of NowChapters00:00 Introduction to Thriving Not Surviving, 02:30 Sam's Journey Through Anxiety and Breakdown, 06:32 The Role of Yoga and Spirituality in Healing, 11:42 Finding Acceptance in Loss and Grief, 19:45 Self-Love and Forgiveness as Healing Tools, 25:54 Taking Responsibility and Moving Forward, 31:55 Stepping into Thriving and Embracing Discomfort, 31:57 Embracing Discomfort for Growth, 32:55 The Importance of Showing Up, 34:47 Navigating Life's Layers of Growth, 35:42 Conscious Uncoupling and Self-Discovery, 38:09 Living in the Present Moment, 40:45 The Power of Now and Overcoming Anxiety, 41:50 Revisiting Spiritual Teachings, 43:42 Integrity and Self-Sabotage, 48:51 Thriving Beyond Survival, 52:51 Finding Happiness WithinMusic for Intro & Outro is thanks to Pixabay – Upbeat acoustic - Stockaudios Thank you to Dave Champagne for the cover art.If you want a full transcription of this episode please email me @ helen@inspiredhealing.co.uk

Keywords: Thriving, surviving, shamanic healing, soul retrieval, personal growth, nature connection, spiritual journey, cancer recovery, nursing, community support, weaving, shamanism, societal conditioning, joy, acceptance, nature, manifesting, Amazon, Celtic traditions, indigenous medicine, psychedelics, trauma, integrationSummary:In this episode of Thriving Not Surviving, Helen Valentino is joined by Laura Swan—shamanic practitioner, nurse, and breast cancer survivor—for a rich, soulful conversation about healing, nature, and reclaiming lost parts of ourselves. Laura shares her personal journey through illness, spiritual awakening, and the profound practices that helped her reconnect with joy, purpose, and community.Together, Helen and Laura explore the transformative power of shamanic work such as soul retrieval, and how traditional wisdom—including indigenous and Celtic teachings—can support modern-day healing. They delve into topics like trauma integration, the role of psychedelics, the importance of weaving and cultural preservation, and how adversity often invites us to deepen our connection to nature, spirit, and self.Themes of self-reflection, societal conditioning, and personal empowerment run through this episode, along with reflections on the healing power of presence, playfulness, and community. Laura offers insights into how both clinical and spiritual practices can coexist, and how healing isn’t about fixing but remembering who we truly are.Takeaways:Laura Swan is a shamanic practitioner and nurse who has overcome breast cancer.Soul retrieval helps reclaim parts of ourselves lost to trauma.Connection to nature is vital for spiritual and emotional well-being.Living in the woods brought Helen a deep sense of peace and fulfilment.Spirit often nudges us toward life-changing decisions.Healing journeys are rarely linear but often transformative.Community support plays a key role during times of challenge.Shamanic practices offer deep personal insight and healing.The Quechuan people weave their myths into their cloths, singing as they create—a reminder of ancestral wisdom and spiritual continuity.The integrity of teachers can be life-changing.Releasing societal expectations allows for authentic self-expression.Success, as defined by the soul, often looks different from what society tells us.Choosing joy—even daily—is a form of resistance and healing.Suffering is not a requirement for growth.Nature helps us reconnect with our wild, untamed selves.Manifesting requires clarity, feeling, and letting go.The Amazon teaches us about dreaming, community, and living in harmony.Celtic traditions are rising again, bringing ancient teachings into the now.Indigenous medicine is deeply rooted in nature, spirit, and reciprocity.Living on a boat has offered Laura a unique sense of flow and connection.Adversity often forges deeper bonds and awakens collective strength.True integration after healing work is key to lasting change.Nature remains a constant and powerful ally in our healing process.Our personal stories shape how we understand trauma, resilience, and transformation.Healing means doing the inner work to break inherited cycles.Spiritual allies and the natural world offer support and guidance through life’s darker passages.Healing is ongoing—it’s a spiral path of remembering, releasing, and reclaiming.Music for Intro & Outro is thanks to Pixabay – Upbeat acoustic - StockaudiosThank you to Dave Champagne for the cover art📧 Want a full transcription of this episode? Email Helen at helen@inspiredhealing.co.uk

Keywords: narcissism, healing, relationships, childhood trauma, emotional abuse, support systems, personal growth, therapy, self-discovery, empowerment, healing, self-preservation, group therapy, fostering, forgiveness, compassion, transpersonal psychology, thriving, spirituality, mental health 'Summary: In this episode of 'Thriving Not Surviving', host Helen Valentino welcomes her best friend Eleanor, a psychotherapeutic counsellor, to share her journey of overcoming childhood adversity and navigating relationships marked by narcissistic traits. Eleanor discusses her challenging upbringing, the impact of her stepmother's behaviour, and her eventual decision to leave toxic relationships. The conversation delves into the complexities of narcissism, the importance of support systems, and the healing journey that follows. Eleanor offers insights and practical advice for those who may find themselves in similar situations, emphasizing the need for self-discovery and empowerment. In this conversation, Helen Valentino and Eleanor explore the themes of healing, self-preservation, and the importance of support systems in overcoming trauma. The conversation also delves into the concepts of forgiveness and compassion, emphasizing their roles in personal healing. Eleanor shares her journey into transpersonal psychology, highlighting the integration of spirituality in therapeutic practices. Finally, they reflect on the difference between thriving and merely surviving, underscoring the joy and purpose that can be found in everyday life.Takeaways·       Eleanor's childhood was marked by her early loss of her mother and subsequent difficulties with a stepmother with strong narcissistic traits.·       She learned to suppress her feelings to please others, leading to difficulties in adult relationships.·       Leaving an emotionally abusive relationship was a long and challenging process for Eleanor.·       Healing involves recognizing and addressing childhood trauma and its effects on adult life.·       Narcissistic behaviours often stem from deep-rooted insecurities and past traumas.·       Gaslighting is a common tactic used by narcissists to manipulate their victims. Support networks are crucial for those trying to escape toxic relationships.·       Books and resources can provide valuable insights and support for healing, Going no contact with toxic family members can lead to personal liberation and growth.·       Eleanor emphasizes the importance of self-discovery and empowerment in the healing journey. Forgiveness is freeing and essential for healing.·       Thriving means finding joy in everyday actions. Compassion starts with self-compassion. Healing is a journey, not a destination.TitlesWill I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers Karyl McBride ISBN 1416551328How To Divorce a Narcissist and succeed in the family court Diana Jordan ISBN 97817398159The Body Keeps The Score –The Narcissist Trap – The mindbending pull of the great pretenders – Dr Supriya McKenna ISBN 9781739493608The Sweet Revenge of Blooming – Flavia Dragani ISBN 9788831344142Music for Intro & Outro is thanks to Pixabay – Upbeat acoustic - Stockaudios. Thank you to Dave Champagne for the cover art, If you want a full transcription of this episode please email me @ helen@inspiredhealing.co.uk