Things Musicians Don't Talk About

'If it could have gone wrong it has gone wrong'. The last five years for Jessica Curry, a composer of contemporary classical game music, has been marked by severe illness and personal loss. She joins Hattie and Becca on Things Musicians Don't Talk About to share her journey being diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis and subsequently shielding during the pandemic. She explains the emotional toll of isolation, the importance of community and support, noting the industry's lack of empathy and her efforts to promote inclusivity. Jessica's latest album, born out of the adversity of this time, Shielding Songs, is an album of her choral music recorded with the London Voices, which is out now on Bandcamp.

We have reached episode 100 and so decided, as a celebration, we'd take a wee look back... we might now regret it! Listen as we react to the first episode we made together, now over four years ago! Becca also tests Hattie on five years of hot takes – who said what and when?Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: HattieMusic: Katy Ehrlich

*Trigger warning: discussion of eating disorders, alcoholism, addiction*From our live event at the Royal Society of Musicians on 22nd May 2025Lauren McQuistin has been running the Instagram account @brutalrecovery for years now. Her advocacy for honest recovery discourse has resonated with many alcoholics, particularly with her with her trademark eloquence and dry humour. Lauren now shares her experience of eating disorders - anorexia and bulimia in particular - and how this was especially shaped by her time as a classically-trained soprano. We asked her about her journey through her musical training and her addictions, her views on why there is such a high prevalence of EDs in classical music, body image critique in the opera world, eating disorders as addictions, how her recovery looks day-to-day now, and her new book No Lost Causes Club. As Hattie and I say in the talk, we've really struggled to find someone in classical music to speak about this subject, so huge thank you Lauren for being that person.Check out Lauren on Instagram and go read her new book!Thank you to forScore for advertising with us and to the Royal Society of Musicians for their ongoing support.forScore: https://forscore.coThings Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor & engineer: Oscar GormleyMusic: Katy Ehrlich

Hattie and Becca discuss the need for many creatives to prove themselves to others online, often sharing data about their work. Do we need a structure and numeric guide for practice or can it be intuitive? And how does this link to intuitive eating? They also go on to discuss the complexities of dealing with criticism, where that sensitivity comes from and how Hattie copes with empathy for performers whilst writing reviews02:51 Workaholics and their quirks16:20 Intuitive eating vs intuitive practice23:55 Hattie receives criticism at work26:15 Confidence, criticism and power structures35:45 Writing reviews and empathy for performers35:40 Cultural recommendationsWe've got some absolutely stellar interviews lined up for release, with some MORE FILMED CONTENT 🤯 see you soon!Thank you to forScore for advertising with us and to the Royal Society of Musicians for their ongoing support 🙏forScore: https://forscore.coRSM: https://www.rsmgb.org-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich#podcast #musicpodcast #musician #mentalhealth

Mezzo-soprano Jamie Barton has been fighting the corner of the marginalised in classical music now for over 10 years. From a marriage breakdown to a queer awakening and struggles with learning repertoire, Jamie joins Hattie and Becca to discuss her experiences as a queer woman in America and her journey to discovering her ADHD. She also shares powerful insights into body positivity, her approach to music and the importance of using her platform to support marginalised communitiesJamie Barton is at London Classical Pride on 4 July. Tickets here!Thank you to forScore for advertising with us and to the Royal Society of Musicians for their ongoing support.forScore: https://forscore.coThings Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Emma WernerMusic: Katy Ehrlich

Entering our YouTube era...! And we're talking about returning to things we didn't expect to: Hattie to America and Becca to the harp. We also have a good ol' think about child prodigies, faith and praying, and Becca obsesses further about JULY. We've got some absolutely stellar interviews lined up for release, so stay tuned.Thank you to forScore for advertising with us and to the Royal Society of Musicians for their ongoing support 🙏 forScore: https://forscore.coThings Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast-------------------------------------------------------------Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca ToalEditor: Rebecca ToalMusic: Katy Ehrlich

After a performance we term as 'bad', it can be difficult to return to a sense of confidence in our playing. In this fourth mediation, Ruth Philips leads a meditation to disarm the inner critic and restore a sense of peace and acceptance in our performing.

Our aim as musicians is to communicate generously and freely to our audience but we rarely turn towards ourselves with the same degree of care. In this meditation, Ruth Philips leads a loving kindness practice, exploring how it might be to extend that kindness outwards towards our audience

This meditation aims to bring you closer to your instrument and aid in healing any sense of disconnect you may be feelingDiscover Ruth Philips *Ruth Philips and Lucy Russell are running a course 'Mindfulness for Musicians' at Benslow Music from 13-15 June. More information here*-------------------------------------------------------------Things Musicians Don't Talk About is supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow RSM on Instagram, X and Facebook.-------------------------------------------------------------Support TMDTAWant to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdtaFeeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/v9jgf-things-musicians-dont-talk-aboutFind TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast