Therapy Works

What happens when a parent is absent from your childhood, and how does that shape the person you become?Bestselling author Elif Shafak joins Julia Samuel to explore her relationship with her father, the loneliness she experienced growing up and how storytelling became a tool for personal growth and mental health recovery by helping her find connection and belonging. Raised largely by her grandmother and mother in Turkey, Elif grew up surrounded by strong women but with very little contact with her father. She opens up about the pain of discovering that he had been a present and loving parent to her half-brothers, the anger that followed and how those early experiences influenced her personal growth and instinct to write about people whose voices have been forgotten or silenced.They also explore the emotional cost of Elif Shafak's prosecution in Turkey following the publication of her novel, The Bastard of Istanbul, her complicated relationship with her homeland and the sense of grief that can accompany living between cultures. Elif speaks candidly about her mental health and experiencing postnatal depression, losing her ability to write during that period and the challenges of navigating motherhood alongside her creative identity, experiences she later explored in her memoir Black Milk.Elif Shafak reflects on the family patterns we inherit, why literature helps personal growth by helping us understand ourselves and others, and the importance of human connection in an increasingly anxious and divided world.Elif Shafak’s new novel is In One Brief Moment All Eternity (published on 15 Oct).If you enjoyed this conversation:Listen to Julia’s conversation with Mary Berry, on family, grief and learning to live alongside loss: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/therapy-works/id1646616622?i=1000791219769You may also enjoy Sathnam Sanghera on bridging conflicting cultures, exploring family, identity, heritage and the search for belonging: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/therapy-works/id1646616622?i=1000674940873Never miss an episode: follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.Subscribe here to Therapy Works on Substack for weekly insights into emotional well-being.Subscribe here to The Times and The Sunday Times to enjoy unlimited digital access to all our journalism.Guest: Elif ShafakProducer: Georgie RutherfordExecutive Producer: Emily LeahyVideo Producer: Darren Michael

This week’s listener is struggling with the growing responsibility of caring for her elderly father. Although increasingly frail, he refuses offers of help and becomes angry when she tries to intervene, leaving her constantly worried about the next crisis. Julia, Sophie and Emily explore how to care for an ageing parent while protecting your own wellbeing, and what happens when old parent-child dynamics continue long into adulthood.Please do send in your Agony Aunties questions to: jsamuelpod@gmail.comNever miss an episode: follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can also watch episodes of Therapy Works on Julia’s YouTube page.Subscribe here to Therapy Works on Substack for weekly insights into emotional well-being (hyperlink 'subscribe here' with the link)Subscribe here to The Times and The Sunday Times to enjoy unlimited digital access to all our journalism.Hosts: Julia Samuel, Emily Samuel, Sophie Samuel Producer: Georgie RutherfordVideo Producer: Darren Michael

What happens when the person the world sees doesn’t quite match who you are behind closed doors? In this open conversation with five-time Olympian and former world champion swimmer Mark Foster, we explore the double life he lived for much of his extraordinary sporting career.For 20 years, Mark was one of the fastest swimmers in the world, breaking world records and competing at five Olympic Games. But while his public identity was defined by success in the pool, privately he kept his sexuality hidden from teammates, coaches and much of the world around him. He opens up about why he felt unable to share that part of himself, and the fears that kept his public and private lives separate.Mark Foster also shares his relentless pursuit of improvement at the highest level of sport, why even becoming the fastest swimmer in the world never felt like an endpoint, and what years of competition taught him about failure, resilience and separating what you achieve from who you are.We talk about his childhood, his relationship with his parents and the importance of finding people who give us a sense of belonging. Mark also reflects on why he eventually decided to speak publicly about his sexuality at 47, the importance of visibility and what he discovered when he allowed himself to be more vulnerable in therapy.From Olympic success to self-acceptance, this is a conversation about identity, happiness and what can happen when we feel able to show other people who we really are.Never miss an episode: follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Subscribe here to Therapy Works on Substack for weekly insights into emotional well-being.Subscribe here to The Times and The Sunday Times to enjoy unlimited digital access to all our journalism.Guest: Mark FosterProducer: Georgie RutherfordExecutive Producer: Emily LeahyVideo Producer: Darren Michael

After some time away from her usual routine, this week’s listener found herself questioning parts of her work and relationships, only to feel those doubts fade once normal life resumed. Julia, Sophie and Emily explore how to tell the difference between a passing feeling and something that genuinely needs our attention, why busyness can sometimes stop us noticing what we really feel, and how looking for patterns can help.Please do send in your Agony Aunties questions to: jsamuelpod@gmail.comNever miss an episode: follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Subscribe here to Therapy Works on Substack for weekly insights into emotional well-being Subscribe here to The Times and The Sunday Times to enjoy unlimited digital access to all our journalism.You can also watch episodes of Therapy Works on my YouTube page.Hosts: Julia Samuel, Emily Samuel, Sophie SamuelProducer: Georgie RutherfordExecutive Producer: Emily LeahyVideo Producer: Darren Michael

How do you move forward after the loss of a child? In this personal conversation with cooking legend Dame Mary Berry, we explore raw grief, building resilience and the most meaningful lessons she’s learnt in 91 years of life. Behind the warmth so many know her for in her cooking shows and books, is a life shaped by profound loss. In this conversation Dame Mary Berry opens up about the devastating death of her son William, how her family approached processing grief, and how she found the strength to keep moving forward.She also shares the traumatic experience of surviving polio as a teenager, how she’s developed resilience and her emotional healing capacity, and the power of talking therapy during challenging times. Dame Mary Berry also reflects on the secrets of a 60 year marriage, why kindness matters above all else, as well as the comfort of cooking and food when life feels uncertain. From navigating grief to finding joy, this is a profound conversation about connection, care, and family.Never miss an episode: follow the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Subscribe here to Therapy Works on Substack for weekly insights into emotional well-being Subscribe here to The Times and The Sunday Times to enjoy unlimited digital access to all our journalism.You can also watch episodes of Therapy Works on my YouTube page.Guests: Dame Mary BerryProducer: Georgie RutherfordExecutive Producer: Emily LeahyVideo Producer: Darren Michael

Social media has made it easier than ever to recognise ourselves in conversations about ADHD, trauma, anxiety and burnout. But what happens when every diagnosis feels familiar and you leave feeling more confused than before? This week, Julia, Emily and Sophie answer a listener's question about knowing the difference between the ordinary struggles of life and when it's time to seek help. They explore why labels can be useful but aren't always the starting point, how to notice the areas of life where you're feeling stuck, and why your own experience of distress is reason enough to ask for support. It's a compassionate conversation about self-understanding, diagnosis and learning to trust yourself before the noise around you. Send us your Agony Aunties questions: jsamuelpod@gmail.com Or message Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠ Grieving someone you love? Julia's Grief Works Support Programme offers structured, expert-led help, with 94% of people reporting feeling better after using it. As a podcast listener you can get 25% off plus a 30-day money-back guarantee here - ⁠⁠www.griefworks.com/therapy⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations. If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A listener shares the hidden reality of life after cancer. Three years after successful treatment for anal cancer, she is cancer-free but continues to live with chronic pain, changes to her body and the lasting physical and emotional effects of radiotherapy. While those around her assume she's "better", she feels forever changed. Julia, Emily and Sophie explore the loneliness of invisible illness, the grief of losing the body you once trusted, and how to help others understand what life is really like after treatment. They discuss living with chronic pain, finding support from people who truly understand, and why healing isn't always the same as being cured. It's a deeply compassionate conversation for anyone navigating life after serious illness or supporting someone who is. Send us your Agony Aunties questions: jsamuelpod@gmail.com Or message Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠ Grieving someone you love? Julia's Grief Works Support Programme offers structured, expert-led help, with 94% of people reporting feeling better after using it. As a podcast listener you can get 25% off plus a 30-day money-back guarantee here - ⁠⁠www.griefworks.com/therapy⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations. If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A listener shares a dilemma that will resonate with so many couples: after almost 20 years together and two young children, she and her husband have drifted into a relationship that works beautifully as a partnership but has lost its intimacy. Julia, Emily and Sophie explore why this happens, how the demands of parenting and everyday life can leave us feeling more like co-managers than lovers, and why rebuilding connection starts long before sex. They discuss rediscovering curiosity, nurturing your own sense of self, communicating openly without blame, and finding small ways to reconnect, offering compassionate, practical advice for anyone wondering how to move from surviving together to truly finding each other again. Send us your Agony Aunties questions: jsamuelpod@gmail.com Or message Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠ Grieving someone you love? Julia's Grief Works Support Programme offers structured, expert-led help, with 94% of people reporting feeling better after using it. As a podcast listener you can get 25% off plus a 30-day money-back guarantee here - ⁠⁠www.griefworks.com/therapy⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations. If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices