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The Shift To Freedom

MVP: The New Prescription for People Pleasing: From Vibe to Tribe

Ep. 92

“People pleasing brings a ton of limitations and really gets in the way of us being able to create adult relationships where there's vulnerability, authenticity, transparency, and a resilience in the connection where both people can be seen and actually loved,” explains co-host Clayton Olson. If you have a tendency toward people pleasing, you are likely not being your authentic self and may even be struggling to find your tribe. Truthfully, it takes a lot of inner work to reverse the childhood conditioning that reinforces people pleasing behaviors, but it is worth it to build better relationships. In this MVP episode, co-host Clayton Olson and I talk about why people pleasing exists and how to stop people pleasing and start forming more authentic relationships. 

When we are children, we rely on the relationship with our caregivers for everything. This means that we tend to learn pretty quickly that it works in our favor to try to please them. However, this type of relationship is very unbalanced and doesn’t work in adulthood. If we constantly try to please everyone, we can never show our true selves. And instead of attracting our tribe, we will attract the tribe that fits the false self that we created to please others. In order to stop people pleasing and start living authentically, we must figure out what our own principles are and stick to them. 

People pleasing can be a really problematic tendency for many people because it is a survival technique we learn in childhood. Even though people pleasing may seem harmless, it tends to lead to resentment, poor boundaries, and inauthentic relationships. 


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