cover art for Presence or Pain, You Choose

The Kid Code Playground

Presence or Pain, You Choose

Ep. 82

It doesn’t feel like it in an upset with our kids or anyone else, but there are only two states to be in right after the upset arises: presence or pain.

In the state of presence, we feel calm, centered and unbothered. Why do we feel unbothered in the state of presence? Because there is no past or future in the present. There are no old patterns, old emotions, old wrongs done to us, and there are no future worries or wants.

Upsetting emotions have made us their servant and we’re not happy in that position.

The pain in an upset comes from an identity, an opinion, an old thought, it comes from the I know it all mind. In the moment of upset, we become know it all’s, especially as parents. We’re taller than them, after all, we should know more! The I know it all mind wants to control others and the situation, which is painful. Notice every time you want to control your child and notice that you don’t feel good, notice the pain.

These kinds of superpowers are waiting for you to discover them. And teach them to your kids!

Amaze yourself with this superpower. Presence is a nice present to give yourself and your kids.

Show Notes

It’s too short to write about! It only takes a couple of minutes to listen!

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