Share

cover art for The DV Survivor - Zoe Marshall

The Deep

The DV Survivor - Zoe Marshall

Season 8

After 2 years of hosting The Deep and holding space for others, I'm ready to share with you one of the traumas that I lived through. When I was younger, I became a victim of domestic violence. I was manipulated, isolated, physically and sexually abused until I didn't know who I was anymore. But I got out. Somehow. And this is my story.


Sean Szeps holds this conversation. Someone I trust and tell all my secrets to.


Please note. During this chat I may sound guarded or at times unemotional. I know that this is still a trauma response. Because of legal reasons I can't reveal the identity of my abuser so some things need to stay private. It makes this a difficult conversation because I can't share everything that I want to. What I am doing is sharing the full extent of this abusive relationship for the first time ever.


Content warning; This episode discusses domestic abuse, physical and sexual abuse, and suicide. Support resources are listed below.



Credits:


Please DM us your thoughts and burning questions to @whatsthedeep or head to zoemarshall.com/thedeep.


The Deep is a place for you. If you love it please subscribe and leave us a rating or comment if that tickles your fancy.


The Deep acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live, and recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.

More episodes

View all episodes

  • The Healing Whore

    47:22
    If you haven't heard of it, Kundalini is a type of feminine body work. It's a way of awakening your energy. I had a session and it brought me back to childbirth. One of the most incredible experiences of my life. I wanted to tell you all about it so have asked Chelsea to join me on this episode. I hope you enjoy.Follow Chelsea on Instagram @chelsea_kundaliniJoin the community and go 'deeper' with Zoe by subscribing at apple.co/thedeep to gain access to exclusive bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening to regular episodes and extra juicy content from Zoe.Credits:Joanne Helder - ProducerCaleb Jacobs - MusicTash Todd-Williams, Word of Mouth Digital - Digital Strategic PartnerPlease DM us your thoughts and burning questions to @ariise___ and @whatsthedeeper or head to zoemarshall.com/thedeep.The Deep is a place for you. If you love it please subscribe and leave us a rating or comment if that tickles your fancy.The Deep acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live, and recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.
  • 4. An Unconventional Mother

    51:16
    Today I'm joined by the most amazing human. Millie lives off grid with her little family, which she created using a family friend as a sperm donor. Her son has a disability but is in the best possible hands - you'll hear why. Millie is such a breath of fresh air on this topic and I hope you love her as much as I do.Follow Millie on Instagram @jessi_and_millieJoin the community and go 'deeper' with Zoe by subscribing at apple.co/thedeep to gain access to exclusive bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening to regular episodes and extra juicy content from Zoe.Credits:Joanne Helder - ProducerCaleb Jacobs - MusicTash Todd-Williams, Word of Mouth Digital - Digital Strategic PartnerPlease DM us your thoughts and burning questions to @ariise___ and @whatsthedeeper or head to zoemarshall.com/thedeep.The Deep is a place for you. If you love it please subscribe and leave us a rating or comment if that tickles your fancy.The Deep acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live, and recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.
  • 3. From Housewife To Millionaire

    53:35
    Let's talk about empowerment. Finding the audacity to be the best version of yourself, the sacrifices you might make and if it's worth it. Lisa Bilyeu is the perfect example of this. She has turned so much of her life on its head - her business, her marriage, her family. I hope you find this one really inspirational.Follow Lisa on Instagram @lisabilyeuJoin the community and go 'deeper' with Zoe by subscribing at apple.co/thedeep to gain access to exclusive bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening to regular episodes and extra juicy content from Zoe.Credits:Joanne Helder - ProducerCaleb Jacobs - MusicTash Todd-Williams, Word of Mouth Digital - Digital Strategic PartnerPlease DM us your thoughts and burning questions to @whatsthedeep or head to zoemarshall.com/thedeep.The Deep is a place for you. If you love it please subscribe and leave us a rating or comment if that tickles your fancy.The Deep acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live, and recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.
  • The Sex Trafficked

    43:37
    Today we speak with Kay, who as a young lady had it all together, she's super smart, hard working. But she fell for the wrong man. A man who pimped her and trafficked her around the world. It's shocking how dangerous her situation became in such a short amount of time.Content warning: This episode discusses sex trafficking. For support contact 1800RESPECT is the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling serviceJoin the community and go 'deeper' with Zoe by subscribing at apple.co/thedeep to gain access to exclusive bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening to regular episodes and extra juicy content from Zoe.Credits:Joanne Helder - ProducerCaleb Jacobs - MusicTash Todd-Williams, Word of Mouth Digital - Digital Strategic PartnerPlease DM us your thoughts and burning questions to @whatsthedeep or head to zoemarshall.com/thedeep.The Deep is a place for you. If you love it please subscribe and leave us a rating or comment if that tickles your fancy.The Deep acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live, and recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.
  • 2. A Conversation On Grief

    59:18
    Since we often discuss trauma and loss on this podcast, I really wanted to spend some time unpacking grief in a helpful way. Sal and Im from the Good Mourning podcast are joining me today to chat through some helpful ways to process grief, including loss of a parent, loss of a child, and how different cultures handle grief.Check out the Good Mourning Podcast podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/good-mourning/id1529978129 and find them on Instagram @goodmourningpodcastJoin the community and go 'deeper' with Zoe by subscribing at apple.co/thedeep to gain access to exclusive bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening to regular episodes and extra juicy content from Zoe.Credits:Joanne Helder - ProducerCaleb Jacobs - MusicTash Todd-Williams, Word of Mouth Digital - Digital Strategic PartnerPlease DM us your thoughts and burning questions to @whatsthedeep or head to zoemarshall.com/thedeep.The Deep is a place for you. If you love it please subscribe and leave us a rating or comment if that tickles your fancy.The Deep acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live, and recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.
  • 1. Ariise - A New Chapter

    17:25
    It's time to Ariise. Some changes are coming to The Deep and we hope you love what we have planned.Join the community and go 'deeper' with Zoe by subscribing at apple.co/thedeep to gain access to exclusive bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening to regular episodes and extra juicy content from Zoe.Credits:Joanne Helder - ProducerCaleb Jacobs - MusicTash Todd-Williams, Word of Mouth Digital - Digital Strategic PartnerPlease DM us your thoughts and burning questions to @whatsthedeep or head to zoemarshall.com/thedeep.The Deep is a place for you. If you love it please subscribe and leave us a rating or comment if that tickles your fancy.The Deep acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live, and recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.
  • My Cult Family

    46:42
    Merle grew up in an abusive cult-like family. He has been through a lot and is now an expert when it comes to healing trauma and phobias. Content warning this episode discusses child sexual abuse. Support resources are linked below.Samsn for male adult survivors of child sexual abuse. 1800 472676 or www.support@samsn.org.auBlue Knot Foundation for female adult survivors of child sexual abuse. 1300 657380 or www.blueknot.org.auJoin the community and go 'deeper' with Zoe by subscribing at apple.co/thedeep to gain access to exclusive bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening to regular episodes and extra juicy content from Zoe.Credits:Joanne Helder - ProducerCaleb Jacobs - MusicTash Todd-Williams, Word of Mouth Digital - Digital Strategic PartnerPlease DM us your thoughts and burning questions to @whatsthedeep or head to zoemarshall.com/thedeep.The Deep is a place for you. If you love it please subscribe and leave us a rating or comment if that tickles your fancy.The Deep acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live, and recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.
  • 12. Favs From The Archives: ICU For Kids

    32:20
    Danielle is a paediatric intensive care nurse. That means she cares for children and their families at their worst point. Children who are sick, children who are abused, children who are dying. I think anyone who's able to take on this role deserves a medal. Danielle has seen the worst things children go through and still gets up every day to do it again.Content warning: This episode discusses child abuse and child sexual abuse. Support resources are linked below.Kids helpline on 1800 55 1800.Act For Kids to prevent and treat child abuse and neglect www.actforkids.com.auBlue Knot Foundation for female adult survivors of child sexual abuse. 1300 657380 or www.blueknot.org.auSamsn for male adult survivors of child sexual abuse. 1800 472676 or www.support@samsn.org.auJoin the community and go 'deeper' with Zoe by subscribing at apple.co/thedeep to gain access to exclusive bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening to regular episodes and extra juicy content from Zoe.Credits:Joanne Helder - ProducerCaleb Jacobs - MusicTash Todd-Williams, Word of Mouth Digital - Digital Strategic PartnerPlease DM us your thoughts and burning questions to @whatsthedeep or head to zoemarshall.com/thedeep.The Deep is a place for you. If you love it please subscribe and leave us a rating or comment if that tickles your fancy.The Deep acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live, and recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.
  • 11. Favs From The Archives: The Lactating Porn Star

    56:39
    Ali Kali is famous as the lactating porn star. Yep, she's known for squirting dudes in the face with her milk. But that's only a tiny part of why I wanted to talk to her. Her story is a wild ride involving addiction, sex work, child loss, and... meditation masturbation?Content warning: this episode is very sexually explicit and contains discussions on infant loss, addiction and suicide. Support resources are linked below.For free and confidential advice about alcohol and other drugs, call the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline 1800 250 015.Lifeline 13 11 14Miscarriage and stillbirth support Pink Elephants www.pinkelephants.org.au and SANDS www.sands.org.au or 1300 072 637Join the community and go 'deeper' with Zoe by subscribing at apple.co/thedeep to gain access to exclusive bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening to regular episodes and extra juicy content from Zoe.Credits:Joanne Helder - ProducerCaleb Jacobs - MusicTash Todd-Williams, Word of Mouth Digital - Digital Strategic PartnerPlease DM us your thoughts and burning questions to @whatsthedeep or head to zoemarshall.com/thedeep.The Deep is a place for you. If you love it please subscribe and leave us a rating or comment if that tickles your fancy.The Deep acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we work and live, and recognise their continuing connection to land, water and community. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging.