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The Dating Professors: How to Spot a Narcissist

Season 1, Ep. 7

In this episode, the Dating Professors teach you a thing or two about how not to fall for a narcissist. Irina and Michelle explain why narcissists may seem particularly attractive at first, what makes love bombing so powerful, and how to break the narcissist's cycle of idealization and devaluation. Resist becoming narcissistic supply and get rid of energy vampires whose lies and manipulations will suck you dry.YOU can learn how to detect gaslighting and find safe ways to get a narcissist out of your life even if he managed to sneak in at first!

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  • 68. Guest Chat: Defusing Emotional Predators with Steven Wolhandler

    51:33||Season 3, Ep. 68
    Irina speaks with dispute resolution specialist Steven Wolhandler, who uses his dual background in law and psychology to help people handle emotional predators. The author of "Protecting Yourself from Emotional Predators: Neutralize the Users, Abusers, and Manipulators Hidden Among Us," Steven dispenses practical advice on how to recognize, avoid, and if need be defuse personality-disordered individuals at work and in the private sphere. Whether you have to raise a child with an emotional predator or are trying not to date such individuals in the first place, this episode will guide you through recognizing destructive pathologies and throwing off predators so they can no longer rule your life. You are not going to want to miss the info in this episode!SOTI ep. 63 "Fighting Coercive Controllers with Dr. Christine Cocchiola and Amy Polacko"SOTI ep. 67 "Recovering from Narcissists with Justena Kavanagh"Steven Wolhandler’s websiteSteven’s book
  • 67. Guest Chat: Recovering from Narcissists with Justena Kavanagh

    57:29||Season 3, Ep. 67
    On this episode, Irina speaks with psychologist Justena Kavanagh who specializes in helping people to overcome coercive control and other narcissistic abuse. Justena talks about the different insidious forms that narcissism can take, including relational narcissism. She explains why these behavior types are so difficult to uncover and combat. Justena and Irina discuss what people need to understand about narcissists and their victims, and how both therapists and legal professionals need to catch up in their conceptions. As someone who has treated both narcissists and those they have hurt, Justena provides a unique perspective on this major societal problem. Take the time to learn about what may affect you or someone you love!
  • 66. Guest Chat: Closing the Deal with Carlos Farini

    51:23||Season 3, Ep. 66
    Irina's special guest on this episode is no other than her husband (and "Strangers on the Internet" sound editor) Carlos Farini. They discuss the beginning of their relationship, from Bumble to exclusivity in three dates. Carlos also explains what he would say to men who do not value relationships and/or do not wish to date smart women. Come find out how things almost fell apart after their second meeting due to the vagaries of NYC dating, and why you should resist the temptation of the paradox of choice!
  • 65. Guest Chat: Interracial Dating with Prof. Solangel Maldonado

    44:03||Season 3, Ep. 65
    In this episode, Irina discusses all things interracial dating with Prof. Solangel Maldonado of the Seton Hall University School of Law. Solangel introduces listeners to her new book "The Architecture of Desire: How the Law Shapes Interracial Intimacy and Perpetuates Inequality." How have not only anti-miscegenation laws but also laws related to property and other matters, including zoning-related regulations, led to lower levels of interracial coupling to this day? Have racial filters on dating apps exacerbated the state of things? And how can we have conversations with individuals about their dating preferences without their getting defensive? For all that and more, tune in!Solangel Maldonado’s faculty profileSolangel’s book “The Architecture of Desire: How the Law Shapes Interracial Intimacy and Perpetuates Inequality”
  • 64. Guest Chat: Fierce Desires with Dr. Rebecca Davis

    46:05||Season 3, Ep. 64
    Dr. Rebecca Davis, the Miller Family Early Career professor at the University of Delaware, recently completed the first major account of the history of sex and sexuality in America in three decades. She talks with Irina and Michelle about her new book "Fierce Desires," which complicates our understanding of how issues such as gender identity and sexual orientation have evolved between the early colonial period and today. From the societal treatment of nonconforming individuals to recent Supreme Court decisions on reproductive choice and to the upcoming presidential election, Rebecca covers it all in this fascinating episode filled with surprising historical twists and turns!Rebecca Davis's faculty profileRebecca's book "Fierce Desires"Rebecca's podcast "This Is Probably a Really Weird Question..."
  • 63. Guest Chat: Fighting Coercive Controllers with Dr. Christine Cocchiola and Amy Polacko

    58:08||Season 3, Ep. 63
    On this episode, Irina speaks with clinician Dr. Christine Cocchiola and divorce coach Amy Polacko about their new book "Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld." These coauthors describe the devastating consequences that many women experience when they try to leave their abusers and to protect their children during and after divorce. The podcast guests explain how courts often let coercive controllers run loose and what victims can do to stand up to physical, emotional, financial, legal, and other forms of abuse. The conversation delves into both the need for education on coercive control and legislative change to address its consequences worldwide. Please join our discussion for your own sake and that of loved ones who are current or potential victims! SOTI ep. 17 “How to Survive Divorce and Break-ups with Amy Polacko”Pre-ordering info for "Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld" bookFacebook book launch groupDr. Christine Cocchiola's websiteAmy Polacko's websiteJoan S. Meyer (GW Law) & Sean Dickson's study "Mapping Gender: Shedding Empirical Light on Family Courts' Treatment of Cases Involving Abuse and Alienation"Amy Polacko's Newsweek article "My Ex-Husband Won't Let Me Vaccinate Our Son"Amy Polacko's Ms. Magazine article "Lawyers Say Catherine Kassenoff's Case--and Thousands of Others--Violate U.S. Constitutional Right to Due Process"
  • 62. #metoo Coverage: Dilan Esper Follow-up on Joshua Wright's Lawsuits

    48:51||Season 3, Ep. 62
    In the fifth part of this coverage of the sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University (GMU) law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, Irina invites back Dilan Esper, an experienced litigator in areas that include defamation law and the First Amendment. Together, they analyze the most recent legal developments in two lawsuits that Josh has launched. The first is his defamation lawsuit against two of the women who accused Josh of misconduct--Elyse Dorsey and Angela Landry--where the judge allowed the lawsuit to proceed past a successful motion to dismiss after Josh amended his complaint. The second is a sex discrimination lawsuit where Josh is suing his former employer GMU for the way it handled his complaint, arguing that the university prematurely sided with his alleged victims because he is a man. Dilan explains to listeners why he thinks that Josh's legal actions will neither succeed in court nor help to restore his reputation, and why some of Josh's painting himself as a victim of the #metoo movement in legal filings may be motivated by his hoping to get future benefits from fellow Title IX critics. Dilan also discusses the use of defamation lawsuits generally in responding to sexual allegations, including based on his experience representing one of Bill Cosby's victims. SOTI ep. 39 with Prof. Christa LaserSOTI ep. 40 with Prof. Brandy WagstaffSOTI ep. 41 with Aliza ShatzmanSOTI ep. 42 with Dilan EsperDilan Esper's profileDilan's TwitterWall Street Journal coverage part 1Wall Street Journal coverage part 2Wall Street Journal coverage part 3Note: According to a statement printed in the media by Lindsay McKasson, counsel to Joshua Wright at Binall Law Group "all allegations of sexual misconduct are false," "These false allegations are being made public after unsuccessfully demanding millions of dollars behind closed doors," and "We look forward to total vindication in court." According to a tweet by Christa Laser, "I don't appreciate that his attorney falsely suggests we are all lying (1/2 was in writing!) & want $ (this is a lie–I only want him gone)."
  • 61. Guest Chat: The Neurobiology of Relationships with Dr. Dixie Meyer

    43:52||Season 3, Ep. 61
    What are the neurobiological underpinnings of relationships? Irina and Michelle delve into that question and its implications with St. Louis University professor and director of SLU's relationships and brain sciences research laboratory Dr. Dixie Meyer. She explains how couples co-regulate their emotions and what can go awry in the process, whether the phrase "happy wife, happy life" has empirical backing, and how the pandemic has affected romantic relationships and women's societal roles. Come nerd out with your favorite hosts and another awesome guest!Dixie Meyer’s profileDixie’s researchDixie’s NPR interview
  • 60. The Dating Professors: How to Deal with Commitment Phobia

    51:06||Season 3, Ep. 60
    One of the chief complaints of dating app users (and especially straight women) is that commitment phobia abounds in those they meet. Can people with commitment phobia ever change? And if so, can they ever be nudged into such change? What happens when someone commits out of fear of losing the other person? Irina and Michelle discuss all that and more on this episode, so listen up! Show notesbell hooks's book "All About Love: New Visions"