Strangers on the Internet

On this special episode, Irina and Michelle talk to writer, director, and performer Aimee Lutkin. Her memoir "The Lonely Hunter: How Our Search for Love Is Broken" has made waves through its poignant account of how society treats the perpetually single. Aimee discusses how the world is structured around couples and how marriage has morphed over time in ways that can leave people feeling more isolated than ever. What are some of the best and worst parts of being single? How have dating apps affected the ability to find love? Do many people who want to remain coupled engage in compromises that lead to unhappiness? Aimee shares her frank opinions with the Dating Professors in an episode you're not going to want to miss!Aimee Lutkin's websiteAimee's IGAimee's memoir “The Lonely Hunter: How Our Search for Love Is Broken”Aimee’s viral Jezebel pieceAimee’s essay on doing all she was told and still being aloneAimee’s essay on how to get comfortable dating again

In this episode, Irina and Michelle explore why dating app providers behave the way they do and why they don't do more to protect their users. Irina talks about her legal research into this area and what has happened when victims have tried to hold providers accountable via the courts (spoiler: not much). The Dating Professors also examine the cultural implications of bad behavior on apps, such as the high frequency at which users lie on them. Michelle and Irina discuss how this relates not only to the anonymity of the Internet but also a sadly common general societal willingness to endanger other people's health and wellbeing. Last, you won't believe Michelle's story about how the app The League tried pushing her to communicate again with a man after she had unmatched him (and what Michelle had to say to The League in response)!

Irina and Michelle sit down with the show's first solo male guest: George Mason University's Prof. Ilya Somin, who decided to put his scholarly chops to use in the romantic arena to increase his odds of success. He turned to both the academic and popular literatures to develop his rationalist approach to dating and shares his wisdom with listeners looking for love. How should one cope with rejection while trying to find a mate? What do many women want when it comes to men planning dates? And what did Ilya say when a woman asked to go on a first date at Arlington National Cemetery?? Come hear about Ilya's journey that ultimately led to finding happiness with his now-wife Alison!

In this episode, Irina and Michelle discuss how to handle mental health issues in dating and relationships. Given that half of the population will receive a mental health diagnosis at some point in their lives, to what extent does there continue to be meaningful stigma around this issue? How early in dating should you disclose a mental health condition? And which mental illnesses are less likely to be treatable? This episode also delves into the role that therapy, and couples counseling specifically, can or should play in relationships - even before they run into trouble. Come hear Irina ask the hard questions on listeners' (literal and figurative) minds and Michelle dispense her therapist wisdom in response!

Join Irina and Michelle as they talk to their first guest couple (and first male guest altogether) on the podcast! Northwestern University neuroscientist Prof. Talia Lerner did not think that a heavily tattooed former military sniper would be in her romantic future, and yet that is how the dating app process shook out in the end. Phillip Nightingale proved to be the interesting, open-minded, poetry-writing partner that would turn into a capable stepdad to her son and involved father to their subsequent daughter together. Our Chicago-dwelling couple came from different socioeconomic classes, ethnic backgrounds, and religions, and via therapy and solid communication forged a path toward what became a happy second marriage for both of them. How did Phillip abandon his plan to travel the world and instead navigate becoming an academic spouse? And what were the reasons Talia agreed to add a third child to their family when initially, Phillip criticizing her parenting of her oldest kid on a first zoo trip together almost led her to call it quits on the relationship? Follow us to the Midwest for this modern-day love story you don't want to miss!Talia Lerner faculty profileLerner LabTalia's career and life pathSOTI episode on "How to Survive Divorce and Break-ups with Amy Polacko" (ep. 17) Ko-Fi Donations

Artificial intelligence (AI) chat bots have been all the rage in recent months. From concerns about academic plagiarism to questions about whether they may replace workers in many industries, the news has been abuzz with articles about platforms such as ChatGPT. Some chat bots specialize in particular areas, such as providing dating coaching! Irina and Michelle put several bots to the test to see if their dating advice is up to snuff. What does AI think about the quality of the male versus female dating pools? Does it believe there is someone out there for everyone? And would AI ever advise you to lie to get the kind of partner you want? Come check out the hilarious results of the Dating Professors' conversations with romance-minded chat bots!AI bots used:Ella - Dating CoachPsychologistChatGPTSOTI episode on "Bad Dating Advice" (ep. 8)Ko-fi Donations

Part 2 of this exclusive interview with bestselling author and award-winning journalist Nancy Jo Sales takes us deeper into the heart of what all the famous critic thinks is wrong with dating apps. Irina and Michelle discuss with her why she believes these apps are deeply embedded in frat boy culture and rape culture, as well as what role social media whisper networks play in protecting female app users. Why and how do dating app operators make it so difficult to conduct independent research about the apps? How do conversations between Nancy Jo and incels go down? And does she see any hope for Gen Z and dating, watching her daughter enter young adulthood in today's world? Fasten your seatbelts, this episode is a wild ride!Part 1 of the interviewNancy Jo Sales' websiteNancy Jo's IGNancy Jo's book "Nothing Personal: My Secret Life in the Dating App Inferno"Nancy Jo's book "American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers"Nancy Jo's documentary "Swiped: Hooking up in the Digital Age"Nancy Jo's viral article "Tinder and the Dawn of the 'Dating Apocalypse'"Nancy Jo's article "Finally, Women Are Calling out Toxic Online Dates. Now to Target the Apps Themselves"SOTI episode 14 "Ten Years of Tinder - Where Are We Now?"SOTI episode 15 "Exclusive Interview with Tinder Swindler Star Victim Cecilie Fjellhøy - Part 1"SOTI episode 16 "Exclusive Interview with Tinder Swindler Star Victim Cecilie Fjellhøy - Part 2"Support SOTI with a Ko-fi Donation!

On this special first episode of season 2, Irina and Michelle welcome bestselling author, award-winning journalist, filmmaker and producer Nancy Jo Sales. A long-time critic of online dating and social media, Nancy Jo talks in part 1 of this interview about why dating app operators consider her such a thorn in their side, how dating apps are intentionally addictive, and why we see so much victim-blaming when apps lead to nefarious encounters. What does evolutionary biology have to do with dating apps? And why does Nancy Jo think that these apps have deep cultural effects such as turning men callous? Come listen to one of the most distinctive voices on all matters dating apps - things are about to get salty!Nancy Jo Sales' websiteNancy Jo's IGNancy Jo's book "Nothing Personal: My Secret Life in the Dating App Inferno"Nancy Jo's book "American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers"Nancy Jo's documentary "Swiped: Hooking up in the Digital Age"Nancy Jo's viral article "Tinder and the Dawn of the 'Dating Apocalypse'"Nancy Jo's article "Finally, Women Are Calling out Toxic Online Dates. Now to Target the Apps Themselves"SOTI episode 14 "Ten Years of Tinder - Where Are We Now?"SOTI episode 15 "Exclusive Interview with Tinder Swindler Star Victim Cecilie Fjellhøy - Part 1"SOTI episode 16 "Exclusive Interview with Tinder Swindler Star Victim Cecilie Fjellhøy - Part 2"Support SOTI with a Ko-fi Donation!

On this final episode of season 1, Irina and Michelle talk to divorce coach and journalist Amy Polacko. She tells her story of overcoming two divorces and being a happy, successful single mom and entrepreneur. Hear Amy's top advice on how to get over every sort of break-up and leave narcissistic abuse behind. How long should you wait to date again after a divorce or break-up? If you're a parent, what is the right time to introduce a significant other to your child? Is there still a stigma against dating people who have been previously divorced, and are they actually likely to make more or less committed partners? Pull up a chair for some life advice from the heart of Connecticut! Amy Polacko's website: https://www.freedomwarrior.info/Amy's IG: https://www.instagram.com/freedomwarriortribeSOTI episode on how to spot a narcissist: https://shows.acast.com/strangers-on-the-internet/episodes/the-dating-professors-how-to-spot-a-narcissist