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Strangers on the Internet

The Dating Professors: Bad Dating Advice

Season 1, Ep. 8

In this episode, Irina and Michelle scour the Interwebs for recent dating advice and critique what they find. Will that article in The Cut teach you about whether you're too picky on dating apps? What about the pearls of wisdom in those (in)famous advice listicles? The Dating Professors go through the good, bad, and ugly of these pointers and show YOU how some of them definitely point in the wrong direction! Plus, hear what our hosts have to say about Hollywood's vision of dating over the last twenty years.

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  • 58. The Dating Professors: Should You Ever Date at Work?

    41:57
    According to recent data and media reports, Gen Z has some enthusiasm for dating in the workplace. Is that a good idea, however? Irina and Michelle dissect the pros and cons of finding a significant other at work. What happens if things fall apart and people have to keep collaborating after a break-up? And how might scenarios play out if there is an uneven power dynamic between the individuals involved? The Dating Professors take a look at the issues involved from regular dating situations to extramarital affairs. You won't believe what happened when Michelle worked at Blockbuster Video and later during her psychology practicum!
  • 57. Guest Chat: Sex Addiction with D.J. Burr

    50:17
    On this episode, Irina and Michelle chat with psychotherapist and sex addiction specialist D.J. Burr. In recovery from sex addiction himself, D.J. explains the condition and the path toward improvement. He discusses how trauma connects to addiction, how dating apps cause special problems for those with addiction, and why he thinks porn can never be used in healthy ways. D.J. also describes the therapy process involved in recovery and the importance of addressing the issue of shame. Check out this episode filled with information and vulnerability.D.J. Burr's websiteD.J.'s LinktreeD.J.'s "I Just Wanted Love" book (free chapter here)
  • 56. The Dating Professors: Do Opposites Attract?

    50:40
    "Opposites attract," the old adage goes. Is that really true, however? Irina and Michelle delve into the ways that disparities are a drawback versus advantage in relationships. What are some of the Dating Professors' personal habits and preferences that they think would cause conflict if a mate was diametrically different? Come listen to an exploration of the role of athletic commitment, love of or distaste for going out, and the clash between early birds and night owls. Plus don't forget to check out our "Strangers on the Internet" Facebook page for a bonus relationship exercise mentioned in the episode!
  • 55. Guest Chat: The Artist's Way with Sebastian

    45:19
    On this episode, Irina and Michelle talk to German visual artist Sebastian, whom Irina met on a long train ride in Europe over a decade ago. He is a photographer, comic artist, graphic designer, illustrator, silk-screen printer, painter, and musician who has lived as a digital nomad for some time. From photographing Iggy Pop to having his work appear in the New York Times, and from living in Germany to England, Brazil, the United States, and Japan, Sebastian has seen it all. He opens up about why he finds dating difficult and how he does not want to use a partner as a crutch. The blank canvas awaits, and we discuss the kinds of women or men that Sebastian would like to invite into the story.
  • 54. The Dating Professors: Should You Meddle in Others' Relationships?

    42:34
    When and how should you intervene in loved ones' romantic relationships? The Dating Professors address the issue in this episode. Irina and Michelle talk about the things that make them uncomfortable to watch in other couples, and discuss various attempts to help. How did Michelle react when a friend butted in as she was preparing to enter a real estate arrangement with a romantic partner? And would some people really rather cut off a BFF than hear hard truths? All that and more in this podcast conversation!
  • 53. Guest Chat: Surviving and Thriving Post-Betrayal with Cassie

    50:50
    Cassie, a NYC professional in her 40s, did not see her live-in partner's cheating coming. She tells Irina and Michelle about the way her 49-year-old boyfriend--whom she met in a physical therapist's office at the start of the pandemic--betrayed Cassie with a 27-year-old mutual friend! Find out how Cassie's dog played a key role in sniffing out the situation. Cassie also talks about how she is rebuilding her life with the support of her family and friends, and dipping her toes back into the pool of the dating apps. You will not want to miss this inspiring story of overcoming heartbreak and discovering a path to freedom and happiness!
  • 52. The Dating Professors: Never Too Old for Love

    46:31
    Is there hope for finding love late in life, including after being widowed or divorced? The Dating Professors explore in this episode the stereotypes and true challenges--but also advantages--of looking for a match in one's later years. Irina and Michelle discuss the higher degree of self-knowledge present in one's senior years, the complications that might arise from relatives unhappy about one's new dating endeavors, and much more. Pull up a (rocking?) chair for this episode about golden times!ABC's "The Golden Bachelor"New York Times article "Dating After 60: A Lot of Roses, Some Thorns"
  • 51. Guest Chat: A Match Made on Friendster with Dr. Aislinn Black and Prof. James Grimmelmann

    51:27
    Season 3 begins with the feel-good tale of how Rutgers emergency physician Dr. Aislinn Black and Cornell information law scholar Prof. James Grimmelmann met in the early days of social media. Learn how 19th century Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard played a key role in their connecting and how Aislinn initially tried to matchmake James with a friend of hers. Irina and Michelle accompany the couple from their early days of zipping up and down the East Coast (so they could hang out) to their decision to commit after bumping into a Belgian medieval pageant. Aislinn and James discuss why the era of long emails and AOL Instant Messenger worked especially well for their romance and how their marriage and parenting defy gender stereotypes. Last but not least, James shares his thoughts on the steps that would lead to greater Internet safety. Come start the year right with a podcast episode that will bring a smile to your face!Dr. Aislinn Black's professional profileDr. James Grimmelmann's professional profile
  • 50. The Dating Professors: A Retrospective Celebrating Our 50th Episode

    57:24
    Irina and Michelle guide listeners through a retrospective of the "Strangers on the Internet" podcast on the occasion of the show's 50th episode. What lessons have the Dating Professors learned from their guests and conversations? Our hosts discuss societal loneliness and disconnection, the state of the dating apps, and the key traits and situations to avoid while dating. They also explore the ways that communities can support both single and coupled people in today's world. Come celebrate this big milestone and final episode of season 2 with us! Time article on AI assistance in dating and matchmakingResearch study on gender differences in response to dating profiles