Strangers on the Internet
Guest Chat: A Rationalist Guide to Dating with Prof. Ilya Somin
Season 2, Ep. 23
Irina and Michelle sit down with the show's first solo male guest: George Mason University's Prof. Ilya Somin, who decided to put his scholarly chops to use in the romantic arena to increase his odds of success. He turned to both the academic and popular literatures to develop his rationalist approach to dating and shares his wisdom with listeners looking for love. How should one cope with rejection while trying to find a mate? What do many women want when it comes to men planning dates? And what did Ilya say when a woman asked to go on a first date at Arlington National Cemetery?? Come hear about Ilya's journey that ultimately led to finding happiness with his now-wife Alison!
The Dating Professors: What Are Dating App Operators Thinking?
Season 2, Ep. 24
In this episode, Irina and Michelle explore why dating app providers behave the way they do and why they don't do more to protect their users. Irina talks about her legal research into this area and what has happened when victims have tried to hold providers accountable via the courts (spoiler: not much). The Dating Professors also examine the cultural implications of bad behavior on apps, such as the high frequency at which users lie on them. Michelle and Irina discuss how this relates not only to the anonymity of the Internet but also a sadly common general societal willingness to endanger other people's health and wellbeing. Last, you won't believe Michelle's story about how the app The League tried pushing her to communicate again with a man after she had unmatched him (and what Michelle had to say to The League in response)!
The Dating Professors: Dating and Mental Health
Season 2, Ep. 22
In this episode, Irina and Michelle discuss how to handle mental health issues in dating and relationships. Given that half of the population will receive a mental health diagnosis at some point in their lives, to what extent does there continue to be meaningful stigma around this issue? How early in dating should you disclose a mental health condition? And which mental illnesses are less likely to be treatable? This episode also delves into the role that therapy, and couples counseling specifically, can or should play in relationships - even before they run into trouble. Come hear Irina ask the hard questions on listeners' (literal and figurative) minds and Michelle dispense her therapist wisdom in response!
Guest Chat: Second Marriage in the Second City with Prof. Talia Lerner and Phillip Nightingale
Season 2, Ep. 21
Join Irina and Michelle as they talk to their first guest couple (and first male guest altogether) on the podcast! Northwestern University neuroscientist Prof. Talia Lerner did not think that a heavily tattooed former military sniper would be in her romantic future, and yet that is how the dating app process shook out in the end. Phillip Nightingale proved to be the interesting, open-minded, poetry-writing partner that would turn into a capable stepdad to her son and involved father to their subsequent daughter together. Our Chicago-dwelling couple came from different socioeconomic classes, ethnic backgrounds, and religions, and via therapy and solid communication forged a path toward what became a happy second marriage for both of them. How did Phillip abandon his plan to travel the world and instead navigate becoming an academic spouse? And what were the reasons Talia agreed to add a third child to their family when initially, Phillip criticizing her parenting of her oldest kid on a first zoo trip together almost led her to call it quits on the relationship? Follow us to the Midwest for this modern-day love story you don't want to miss!Talia Lerner faculty profileLerner LabTalia's career and life pathSOTI episode on "How to Survive Divorce and Break-ups with Amy Polacko" (ep. 17) Ko-Fi Donations