Storytime

Reddit rSlash Storytime r TIFU I acquired baby ducks from a mom duck who put them in danger, played them a duck noise video almost a week of having them, and they started crying for their mom and trying to leave their play pen. :( I cleaned my kitchen, invited parents for dinner, got high and damaged my tit leaning over a cactus, which was soothed with holy water from my mother and then proceeded to flash my father, had a nice but awkward steak pie dinner afterwards. Went to a job interview asked if we could eat lunch in the office not go out. CEO took offense to the accommodation request and the recruiter said that was why I didn't get the job. I've read all the comments so far. Best com Pretended to be vegan to impress a girl, ate way too much at her family's dinner, nuked her toilet and got caught. Now I'm single and traumatized by tofu. I trusted a fart while trying to pee at work and it failed me. There is now a literal crapy pair of my underwear sitting in the dumpster across the street. I exploited a rewards program and can’t get over the guilt of technically being a thief. Paid it forward to someone at a drive-thru for letting me in during a chaotic hour. Attempted to buy their order, assuming they followed in after letting me through but it turns out that they let a second person in. So someone got two freebies today! Haven't slept well this week, auto-piloted and did auto theft. Got daughter to school on time.