Storytime

r TIFU Tried to surprise my boyfriend with a cute upside-down kiss, he sneezed and headbutted me into another dimension. I gave my youngest son relationship advice when my wife and I decided he was now old enough to date. My oldest son's girlfriend took that advice and confronted my oldest son, apparently because he wasn't respecting her or her feelings. They had a huge argument and broke up. I used a tanning booth too long and got a massive sunburn. I regret not asking the lady at the gym more questions. i accidentally walked in on a faulty interview and started asking interview questions because i was given the wrong time for lunch I’m white, my black doctor has the same last name as my mother and is from the same city, and I said we must be related. It sounded like I was excitedly telling her that my family had owned and SA’ed her family. thought it said tablespoons instead of teaspoons and ended up consuming 3 GRAMS of magnesium in one weekend My friend asked me for a Halloween animal pun for his art project. I confidently said Ost-witch, which sounds a lot like something that someone who failed art school would say. I sent a gif of Homer Simpson dressed as the devil and dancing on a grave immediately after a colleague told everyone their dad had died. I self sabotaged my “relationship” by putting off talking about my feelings. Now he wants nothing to do with me. TIFU entire class decided to write letters to a prisoner